A Little Edgy

The rumor mill continues to churn at work, and it's starting to make me a little edgy.  Nothing has actually been decided, however, and I'm going to pitch my idea of reducing hours to my boss today.  Depending on my mood and how much I let the possibilities swirl around, I can see the potential to get myself pretty worried about this.

I'll need to find out for sure if I'd qualify for unemployment benefits, because it's a contract position.  I also have to find out whether I could, if I can't stay on at the CDC, go to school while on unemployment.  This strikes me as such a no-brainer, although I don't know if it is the case.  A person who loses their job should be able to have the unemployment benefits for, I don't know a year? in order to get retrained for the next thing.  It seems like such a good investment to me.  I'll take on the burden of paying for the school, just let me have something to live on and don't make it hard for me to get health insurance, OK?

But I'll have to find out all this stuff.  The logical part of my brain gently reminds me that I don't have enough information yet. 

I thought that I'd start having trouble sleeping about all this, but I am frankly amazed how exercising three times a week makes it easy to fall (and stay) asleep. I was thinking about work stuff last night before I went to sleep and thought I'd be restless, but clunked out and slept well.  I'm a little embarrassed to say that I haven't stuck with an exercise program for this long (4 months and counting) before. I haven't lost much weight here, but damn, I feel good. It does help my outlook, and that is reinforcement to keep doing it. And I can see changes in my arms and legs that make me feel like I've got something to show for my work too.

Plan B

If you've been following the news at all lately, it seems clear that federal spending faces steep cuts.  I'm not here to go into where those cuts should or should not come from, but it looks like my particular agency is going to face some significant cuts.  I've talked with my supervisor briefly about it, and he just doesn't know anything yet. 

Lots of questions and uncertainty.  A coworker and friend has already gone on an interview in another state for a job.  I am ambivalent about what to me seems like it might be a little too proactive, since we don't know anything about our jobs yet.  However, if you had the means and chutzpah to pick up and move to a job that you wanted, was pretty secure, and paid well, would it make sense to do it?

Unless things got really bad, I'm not looking to pull up stakes and relocate anywhere if I lose my job.  But here's the thing.  I've been taking stock of my skills and it's going to be difficult to get another job like mine.  It's not like I don't have any skills, but I don't think they are all that marketable right now, and employers may not be willing to pay for the fact that I have a Ph.D., when most of what I do can be done by trained monkeys experienced BS or MS degree holders. I can write the scientific papers reasonable well, though, and yesterday I was able to give a new postdoc good advice on doing a project similar to mine, but on ticks. I know, I know, but ticks, mosquitoes and fleas is what we are all about where I work.

So I've been thinking about the Plan.  The Plan B, in case I lose my job and I don't get either of the teaching jobs I applied for, and don't want to languish on unemployment while I get less and less employable.  It calms me a lot to think about what I would do, as it's still just me, and the marrying rich thing hasn't panned out (yet!).

I'm still interested in education, with the overall big-picture goal of promoting scientific literacy as a way to make rational decisions in people's daily lives.  I'm not able to make it financially as a high school teacher, and the full college professor thing would consume my life and force me to relocate, and the community college thing is promising, but may or may not pan out either, and doesn't pay all that great.  What to do?  Learn how to help students learn better and teachers teach better.  There is a certificate program that is all online from the University of Colorado in Denver that is called "Designing e-Learning Environments".  It takes a year, and is 15 graduate credits (which I would have to of course pay for), after which I'd have the certificate and could try to get a job off of that.  The certificate also represents the first year of a two year MA program in "eLearning Design and Implementation", so there's some flexibility.

In my perfect world, I'd get renewed for another year at work, take a 25% pay cut, which would be tight, but I could still live off of, and take a year to get this certificate, which would give me a portfolio that I could show to prospective employers.  I could potentially work from home after that, which would rock, and I'd have good skills that were marketable to a variety of jobs.

This is all still inside my head and on this page, but doing so helps me feel like a Plan is in the works.

Mish mash

 

This is the lake next to the building I where I work.  My little slice of cubeville is on the 4th floor, so there is always a fabulous view. I don't mean to be snarky about being in cubeville, either. At one point, when they were moving our lab to this building, there was talk of our offices remaining in the old building, which would have been a huge pain. So I don't mind doubling up in an office cube meant to be for one person. Anyway, we had a spell of really cold weather at the beginning of the week, and as it warmed up again, into the 40's and 50's, the ice on the lake developed these fissures that now look like someone rode a snowmobile across the lake or something. It's been really cool to see how this water changes, sometimes daily, as bodies of water (even man-made like this one) are kind of rare here.

Today is a kind of gloomy Saturday, but it's warm. There's hardly any snow on the ground, either. I've got a mish mash of things to get done, and Mr W's birthday party is tonight. I need to pick up the food, and shuttle boys to and from Chuck E Cheeses. Indeed, this reminds me I'll need to vacuum out my car before hauling children.  That dog of mine is a one-dog mess generator. There will be a sleepover at Mr W's dad's house, with nerf battles and the like. The x's girlfriend's son, who is 7, is attending as well, and it has been interesting to hear second hand how these two little souls are getting along, after being thrust together. Sort of like instant step-siblings, although not formally. The dynamics are the same, with Mr W kvetching that the other kid hovers, whines, turns the TV channel too much, that kind of thing. And to think that one of my major hopes was to hook up with someone with kids so Mr W would have the chance to develop sibling relationships. I think overall it's good, but there are also times when he's quite happy to be an only child.

I am planning on going to the Denver Art Museum tomorrow.  They are having a free day today, so I'm happily going to go tomorrow and pay the entrance fee to avoid the crowds. Mr W and I went to the Denver Zoo last fall for a free day and it was, well, it was a zoo. Too many people to really enjoy the place, and I can't imagine enjoying an art museum that way. Last night was our First Friday gallery walk downtown, when many of the shops are open late, to search for a birthday present for Mr W.  My plan was to then go over to a nice little restaurant/bar/music venue and get some dinner and perhaps stay for the show, which started at 8:30.  

I really want to be able to do this sort of thing, but I didn't stay for the show. It was bluegrass, which I love to watch, but I'm just not crazy about watching that stuff by myself. I suppose you could argue I wouldn't be by myself, and I watched plenty of singletons walk in to see the show. I feel conspicuous, although I know I'm not. But, I did resist the urge to just change into my PJs after coming home from the dog park at 6, and settling in for a quiet night of knitting.  That counts for something, right?  

One thing I am doing is to sign up for a tiny bit of volunteering. The church I go to had a volunteer form (how convenient!) last week and I signed up to be in rotation for: ushering, doing laundry from the kitchen, cooking meals for folks coming out of the hospital, and something else that I can't remember. I also signed Mr W and I to help at an event for the Food Bank later this month. I say this stuff not to toot my own horn, but to I guess demonstrate to myself that I am doing something to try to meet new people and contribute something. With the gardening muse calling to me again, I really want to parlay some of that interest into something where I do some volunteering and can meet some people. There's a community garden on the way to work that needs volunteers and I'm going to start there.  

Indeed, the thought of starting to plan next year's raised beds has me rubbing my hands together with delight.  I'm going to try to get more vertical structure going this year, as those book cases aren't all that big, I realized after seeing the real estate that one zucchini plant takes up.

Ramble ramble.  OK, I'll stop this rambly post here and get on with the weekend.  Hope yours is fab.

She's back!

OK, a little late to the party, but I discovered yesterday that one of my favorite blogs is active again.  It's called Bioephemera, and it's got all sorts of Science-Art mix-em-ups.  Yippee!

Some updates and a weather report

The shake up of Mr W's evening routine, wherein I had him start to help prepare his dinner, and join me at the table to eat, has gone well.  As I expected (kids are really so darn adaptable) he fought it hard for three days, complained about it for another three, and then accepted his fate from that point on.  We are talking more, although we've also had a couple of nights where what he really wants to do is to play on the computer, and he has to do all this stuff first, like help fix dinner, eat with me, and do his homework.  I have to say this effects the mood at dinner, and making dinner its own valid thing is something I'll have to continue to work on.  But it feels good to be doing it.

The mouse wars continue.  I have snap-trapped five so far, and found one dead inside an open bag of tootsie rolls.  There's some metaphor in there about excess, but I'm not going there; it was probably an icky way to die.  I cleaned out three drawers in the kitchen.  They must be able to get in behind the cupboards and into these drawers, because the mice obviously felt pretty comfortable in there, especially in the bottom one, which I don't go into very often.  I set a trap in that one, and on the stairs, as there is still at least one around.  It/they are good at licking the peanut butter off the trap without tripping it, so I've added a piece of dog food to entice them.  I'd just like to be done with this task, though.  It's gross.

I mailed off my applications for the teaching positions that I posted about here.  In a stroke of brilliance, I asked some teachers I know to give me feedback on my teaching philosophy, and I'm so glad I asked.  So very glad, because they had good things to say that could only come from people who are currently in the field.  I felt really good about the cover letters especially.  They were only slightly different, as one of the positions was for teaching General Biology, and the other one was for teaching Botany, Genetics and other subjects I'm excited about teaching.  Not that cellular respiration doesn't grab me right there, but plants are so cool, and the world should know, you know?  But I went through and kind of gave a point-by-point as to how I met the qualifications and how I would fulfill the specific responsibilities of the position.  The deadline to submit is Friday, so it's going to be a couple/few weeks yet before I hear anything.  It'd be so cool to have an interview for either position, really.

And the weather!  I know it's been a pretty wintery winter for a lot of the country, and it actually hasn't been so much of one here.  Fall was mild and prolonged, and last weekend it was in the 50's.  But we've got this "Arctic Mass" of cold air sitting on CO right now, and it's, let me check, -6 and projected to go down to an eye-popping -18 tonight.  I didn't used to worry about this kind of thing, but now that I'm a home owner, I do.  The ductwork for my furnace is such that the unused basement room gets heat like any other room in the house.  The vent is in the ceiling, isn't easily closeable, that kind of thing.  And when it's cold like this, I suspect that having that warm air in the basement probably keeps the pipes from freezing on nights like tonight.  The kids have scored another day off from school tomorrow, so I'll be home a half day with Mr W.  His dad had him today, so I didn't have to miss work.  Brrr.

Only so many words

I feel like I have been sparse on posting the last few days, and it's because I've been completing the applications for the teaching jobs I'm interested in.  The one's focus is Botany, Genetics, Ecology and Environmental Science - totally up my alley - and I have put a lot of time and mental energy into getting the cover letter and my teaching philosophy (both have to be but one page each) right. The other position is General Biology, and is local, so I'm putting in for that one as well, but am more excited about the possibility of teaching Botany and Genetics.  It's still wacky to me that there are even two positions open.

I think I got them both to sound the way I want them to sound.  It's funny, I have to sort of suspend my fears of what would happen if I DID get the job, in order to write like I really really wanted the job.  Having the Botany/Genetics job would introduce a 40 minute (one way) commute, give me a $9,000 pay cut, and involve lots of work to get ready to teach.  On the up side, it's a 9 month position, it's a 9 month position, and it's a 9 month position.  And I'd be teaching, which I really do enjoy.

I'm glad I'm throwing my hat in the ring, and am excited about the possibilities.

Coupons

I've tried, I really have.  I know that some people clip coupons and save a good chunk of change when they go shopping.  I suspect that the avid ones actually enjoy this process.  I'm sorry to say that I don't.  The thought of maintaining a little folio of coupons fills me with dread. 

There's an organization in town called Be Local, and they put out a coupon book twice a year or so, with, obviously, coupons for goods and services from local businesses.  Last year I bought the book for $10-15 and put in in my car, where I would have it handy for all the local shopping that I try to do anyway.  I didn't use any of the coupons, and they're all expired now, as the new book is out.  Ergggg.

I was talking to a friend at the dog park yesterday.  She's very good at supporting local businesses, and volunteers pretty regularly for various events around town.  She told me she never used any of the coupons in her last book either, and that made me feel a little less bad. 

35 Minutes

That's all it took my new handyman BFF to replace the garbage disposal that had been waiting on my kitchen chair for the last *cough* three months.  Or more, I've lost count.  I used Angie's List to find another handyman, and when he was going to be out of town working on a job, he suggested this guy, who had worked for the housing authority in town and thus had lots of experience with this sort of thing.

Now, on the one hand, since it only took him 35 minutes, should I pay him for an hour's worth of work?  This though crossed my mind very briefly, but I ended up giving him an extra $10 because I was so happy to have the job done, AND I believe that a person should be paid for their expertise.  He even used a couple of small parts that he had, instead of opening up the packages possible things I'd need that I got from the hardware store.  "You can take these back to the store".  Now I'm starting to put together a project list of stuff that needs to be done around here.

It's funny, I've really gotten into the habit of not using the disposal, and instead am dutifully filling my compost pail and dumping it on the pile outside.  The best bit, though, is that replacing the disposal fixed the leak where the thing hooked into the drain line.  No more emptying out the pan under the sink after each load of dishes. 

In other news, I'm going to a wine tasting tonight, with folks from a single parents group I occasionally do things with.  There aren't really any romantic prospects there, but it's good practice for me to be out and mingling.  And there will be other people at the restaurant.  My goal is to chat with one guy that I don't know.  I hired a sitter for Mr W, and it's someone from church that I used a few years ago.  I'm trying to get Mr W's dad to switch back to the old schedule that I changed when I was dating B, but he doesn't want to.  It gets so complicated when we all have to accommodate not only the x's schedule, but the schedule of the person he is dating and HER x.  It's good, then, the Mr W has a sitter occasionally.

Mouses in My House

 

 When I went out of town last month, I originally was going to have my friend G both take Sally the dog to the kennel (a.k.a. Dog Camp) and pick her up, to avoid having to board her extra days.  I put a plastic bag with some dog food in it on my counter, so G could feed Sal and then Mr W and I would be home shortly after.  Well, that didn't work out, and we were able to pick up Sal on our own, but the food sat on the counter for a few days until I realized that about half of it was gone.  

Uh-oh.  Mice.  Again.  Most of the years that I've been in this house, I've seen a (as in just one) mouse in the fall, and I set my snap trap, kill it, and that's that.  This time, though, I think the one had babies and there's several around.  I keep the door to the back hallway closed when Mr W's not here to heat less of the house, and a couple of times in the last few days, I've opened the door to see a mouse scurrying away.

It has kind of hit a peak today, as I've seen two (maybe the same one twice) in the living room in the last hour or so, and this morning, one popped up in between the top of the stove and one of the burners, fer cryin' out loud.  No, I wasn't using the stove at the time.  It's almost comical; they see me and then it's as though they say, "Oops, she saw me!  Gotta go!"  I did catch one today behind the stove, and just set another trap after seeing the one in the living room.  The damn things are not silent, I heard them last night doing whatever it is they are doing.  I feel sort of bad using snap traps instead of live traps, but I do believe them to be humane.

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UPDATE 1-24-11, 6:24 am:  I caught three yesterday.  Two were juveniles, and one adult.  I reset the traps, we'll see if there's any more.

I have a gardening question

My raised beds had their first year of service last year, and I've got two of them, just a few feet apart.  I put zucchini, peppers (which were totally shaded out by the zukes), green beans (which the dog kept eating - I thought they jusst weren't producing) and tomatoes in one bed, and broccoli, melons, peas, lettuce and carrots in the other.

My question is, can I do another year with basically the same stuff in the same beds, or do I need to switch them every year?  I bought a soil/compost mix from a local landscape supply company to fill the boxes initially.

Your thoughts, garden people?

Some good news in Agriculture

I occasionally read the Civil Eats blog. I like their common-sense approach to talking about food issues. They had a blog post recently that talked about some good news in agriculture for a change. The link below has the whole piece, which has a lot of links, so I'll just put this main one here.

Worldwatch Report Reveals Real Agricultural Solutions

This report is on a global scale, but I liked reading it because it seems like third world problems are often treated as needing only technology to solve.

I have been starting to think about my garden again. It's still funny to me how cyclical the process is. Come October, I'm so over gardening and trying to use up what I've grown. But now, after the holidays, I'm sniffing around the gardening websites, and thinking about how I'm going to try to improve the soil in my raised beds, what to grow, etc. It's like gardening comes back to pick me up around this time of the year.

Rumor Mill

Like almost everywhere, there are budget issues where I work. There was supposed to be a big cut this fiscal year, but it wasn't as large as anticipated, so there haven't been any layoffs. To their credit, the management is pretty forthcoming as to what's going on, and it looks like it might be kind of grim in the next couple of years. Speaking only for myself, on the one hand, I'm not too surprised at the possibility of not being renewed because I have a contract position.  It's always kind of been in the background that at the end of any given year, I might not be renewed.  On the other hand, though, a lot of government contractor positions aren't like that. Mr W's dad has been in his contract position for 11 years, and there's a person at work who's had his for 10. But it helps keep it real, so to speak, in my mind, if I assume that the party might be over when July rolls around.

As you can imagine, this situation is ripe for speculation.  I was talking to someone, who had been talking to someone yesterday, and what they heard - I'll stop right here and make my point.  I'm trying not to give too much weight to this information because it's third hand, but I'm still mildly concerned.  That's how rumors work, right?  Well, the rumor was that there would be a 10% cut next year, which I think would mean we'd keep our jobs, and then a 50% cut the next year, which I'm pretty certain would mean jettisoning us contractors.  Or not, I really don't know.

I'm pleased I have some skills, but feel like I need more to be competitive.  I feel like I should do things to be more ready, should I face losing my job.  Even though I don't have any debt beside the van and my mortgage, I'm still edgy about the repercussions of losing my job and going on unemployment.  And I hate that, despite not really taking the rumor seriously, I still sort of am. 

Well, I have two teaching jobs to apply for, and I will do that this weekend.  The closing date isn't until February 4th, so I've got time.  I read on the one description, the local one, under the "Required" qualifications part, that they want 3 years of full time teaching experience.  As a requirement.  This sort of smells like they've got someone they are trying to give the job to.  For the other position, which is also a General Biology Instructor, for the same community college, just a different campus, there is no such teaching requirement, only that one has demonstrated proficiency at teaching. That one specifically mentions Botany and Genetics, so I might be more in the running for that one anyway.

I'm also going to give some thought as to what I would do if I did lose my job.  What then?

Snowshoers

We are lucky indeed to live about an hour from Rocky Mountain National Park, but I confess I don't spend a lot of time there because dogs (understandably) aren't allowed on the trails.  There's plenty of other places to hike with dogs, so that's what we do, but RMNP is still in a class by itself.  This past weekend they had a "get in free" day, and there were several snowshoe manufacturers and outfitters there with demo snowshoes for people to try. 

I thought it would be good to get Mr W out and on some snowshoes, as it's a pretty easy thing to do, and I was hoping he and I (and the dog, with her winter booties) could all go out sometime and tromp around in the snow.  So we went, and at his suggestion, took the van, which is great for this kind of thing because there's room to change boots, or clothes for that matter.  And there's the cool factor...

We snowshoed for a bit, maybe 20 minutes, because there were a lot of people on the trail.  It was enough to get an idea of whether our gear was adequate, and whether Mr W would be up for this kind of thing in the future.  Yes to both.  I'm pleased that the exercise I've been doing for the last few months seems to be paying off; I didn't get winded as easily as other folks on the trail. 

I'm going to work today, and of all government holidays, I always feel like this one in particular was given for a reason.  I feel on the one hand that I should participate in one of the MLK things going on, but on the other, it's a day to work and bank for later.  Slightly guilty, but I will work today.

Happy Birthday, Sister Kris

I refer to her as Sister Kris now out of habit.  My dad's girlfriend is named Chris, and I dated someone named Chris, so it was kind of a bookkeeping thing.  Nevertheless, today is her birthday.  She would have been 48 today.  It's going on three years now that she's gone.  I still think about giving her a call now and then like I used to, but it's not as frequent anymore.  I leaned on both she and the rest of my family pretty hard when I was going through the divorce.  She helped me a lot.

Kris was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer when she was 43.  Everyone was completely blindsided by this, as no one thinks to look for it in someone so young with no family history of it.   She responded well initially to treatment, and I remember so much waiting.  Another scan.  And another scan.
She fought bravely and had her family with her when she died.  She would be so proud, so very proud of her sons, who are both in college now, and doing well academically.  She would also be proud of her husband, who shepherded the boys through, and got them off to college and the next phase of their lives. 

Having loved ones die early affects a person.  I was angry and sad and a bit lost for a long time about it, and only recently have started to ponder bigger picture things that don't take those events into account.  Not to sound preachy (I really don't want to foist any sort of strong opinion on anyone) but I get something out of a show called On Being, where the host interviews all sorts of people on the topics of "religion, faith, meaning, ethics and ideas".  I feel fortunate to have my needs met to the extent that I have the luxury to ponder these bigger questions, and I'm trying not to ever forget that.

I will have a glass of wine later, and toast my sister, and thank her for all she's done for me, and promise to honor her memory by never forgetting what she means to me.

Outrage

I feel a little sorry for Mr W.  I've made the realization that the mental and emotional energy that I use for finding a mate has a cost, and that cost is that I tend to sort of go on autopilot with the kid sometimes.  Sure, I do all the day-to-day stuff that I'm supposed to; I'm certainly not ignoring him.  However, at those times it feels like I'm not putting energy into pushing him a little bit to do new things and get more out of school, which he sees as such a drag. Now that I've gotten off the online dating, while keeping optimistic and dialing down my urgency, the kid has practically my full attention.

I also acutely felt his absence when he was with his dad for the last few days, when Congresswoman Giffords was shot, and that sweet little girl, the same age as Mr W, died.  Those events shook me up a little, and I was sad that I'm only with Mr W for half of his time.  So I wanted to feel like I'm making the most of the time that I do have with him.  Thus, I instituted sweeping changes to the evening meal protocols, which was met with outrage, OUTRAGE, I tell you, from Mr W, the very person I'm trying to nurture.

I told him that, from tonight on forward, and indefinitely, I want his help fixing his dinner, and I wanted to eat together at the table.  That's it.  You see, I fix two different meals almost all the time when I have him.  I know, I know, this is one area of parenting where I have failed miserably, but I fix him his starch-vegetable-yogurt-chocolate milk, and then I have something else, usually pulled from the freezer that I've made ahead.  It works, but it gets old.  Especially when he can be helping a little on his end.

The first night, he threw an actual tantrum, which was difficult, and took a lot of effort because he was hungry.  He literally stomped across the floor to show his displeasure, and had to go to his room and cool off.  Once we were both at the table, we..... talked a bit.  I happened to have a National Geographic on the table (yeah, that's how we roll at my house), and showed him pictures of Egyptian mummies scientists are doing DNA studies on.  I told him about getting the airline vouchers as compensation for our canceled flight, and we talked about where we could go this summer.

The second night of the new routine was met with initial refusal but then he came around and helped.  He also offered to bring in the milk that had been delivered on the porch.  It'll get easier, and although I answered his questions as to why I was punishing him like this, I ultimately had to say, "Look, you don't have to be OK with this, but you know my intention is not to punish you, but for us to talk more."  "Hmmph".  But he's coming along and I think this will be a good change for us.



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Limp, limp

I've spent my precious coffee-time this morning getting the blogs I follow from my blog to Google Reader.  There must have been an easier way, but I had to add about half of the 30 or so by hand.  I know, I know, this technology stuff will make it easier, but I usually feel like I'm limping along with it, as opposed to embracing it.  The upshot is that I'll have new posts in one place, and won't miss anything from the blogs and sites I like to follow.  That's good.

Returning the favor

Like a lot of girls, I was taught how to knit by my mom, when I was in my early teens.  My recollection is that she didn't knit much herself, but knew how to cast on, and do the basic stitches.  I may have made a scarf when I was younger, but I don't recall making anything else.  My mom didn't actually knit much either, but was working on a vest when she got sick, and a friend of theirs ended up finishing it.  So, I guess my early experience with it was glancing at best.

Fast forward to around 2007, when I'm out of school, have a full time job that doesn't require me to work outside of work, and want to develop a hobby.  I think it also may have had something to do with wanting to make a pair of socks for the guy I was dating.  I wonder if he threw those away, or kept them... Anyway, at the time, I had recently become friends with D, who is a good knitter.  A real knitter.  And I remember us meeting for coffee once, and she showed me just a couple of things, like how to decrease stitches properly for a sock, and that did it.  That gave me the oomph I needed to go ahead and consider myself a knitter and take on other projects (besides scarves!). You know how you can watch videos, or see books about something, and it just doesn't click until someone is sitting next to you and does it a couple of times?  That's how it was.

Well, yesterday I got to return the favor, and I showed my friend C some basics.  It just strikes me as ever so cool that this is how this craft is passed along.  That a skill that is both practical and an expression of creativity is often perpetuated in this way.  It was fun to see her first few tight, weird stitches turn into a declaration of "Yes, I think I've got it".  Because we all do tight weird stitches when we start anything new, and it's just practice that leads us to be better at it.  Does that sound like something I tell my kid?  It is.

Realistic Expectations

I read in the paper yesterday morning that there are not one, but two openings for Full Time Biology Faculty at the community college where I taught last year.  One is at the campus I was at, and the other is at another campus about 45 minutes away.  My first thought, was, "COOL!"  My second was, "I wonder if these are for real, or if they've already got someone picked".  There was yet another opening earlier in the fall at the third of the three campuses of this community college, and, despite being well-qualified, I didn't get an interview.

I know times are tough, and the competition is stiff, and all that.  But this is ME, and I know I'd do a fabulous job, and I want it (she pouted).  My point is that it is supremely frustrating to take the time and effort to put together a package to present your credentials for a job, only to be ignored because they've already got someone they're happy with, and they just had to go through the formality of opening the position to the public.

The upshot of already for applying for a similar job a few months ago is that my resume is up to date, and I've got a reasonably good one-page teaching philosophy already done.  The positions are a little different.  The one at my campus is pretty sparse in its description, where the "primary focus is teaching and curriculum development for Majors and nonmajors Biology".  I think that's pretty much what I was doing.  However, at the other campus, the primary focus is, "teaching and curriculum development for majors and nonmajors Biology, Ecology, Botany, Environmental Science and Genetics"

Well!  Did you nice community college people know I majored in Botany?  And that plant genetics is my thing? And that I have a PhD?  There you go.  So, I'm particularly excited about the second one, although the logistics would be a big deal.  Really, an interview for either would be validating. 

The downside to one of these positions is the pay cut I'd take.  However, I hope to figure something out to make up some of that, and it IS a 9 month position.  And I'd be teaching, which, at the risk of sounding self-important, is a way that I can see myself giving back, sending the elevator back down, that kind of thing.  The application process for both jobs doesn't close for another 3-4 weeks, so I'll get my stuff together this week and then try to forget about it.

In other news, it looks like my brothers and I will meet up with my dad in Florida next month.  He goes down there most winters, and has wanted us to come visit him for years.  This year we will manage to pull it off, over President's Day weekend.  I perused airfares on Orbitz, and for some reason (maybe the holiday?)  it was going to be $400 to fly to FL, and there was no direct flight.  The dates are set, so I was ready to just pony up the money.

Then, I had the smart idea to see if I could use some of my old Frontier frequent flier miles, and lo and behold, I used almost all of them to get a one way ticket to FL, and then I paid for the return flight for a little less than $200.  And they are both direct flights, and leaving when I want to.  Go figure.  Btw, I forgot to mention that Delta did come through and I got two $125 vouchers for future travel in compensation for Mr W's and I canceled/ delayed flight after Christmas.  So, we'll figure out some summer travel off of those.  More on that later.

Priorities

My Christmas tree is still up.  And there are dust bunnies on my floors.  There is a dish full of dirty dishes, and laundry that needs to be folded.

However, I feel like I had a very productive day yesterday.  Sort of hitting the reset button after traveling.  I had to go to work for an hour to load samples that would run all day.  Then, I hit the thrift store and found several sweaters, some workout stuff, and a few shirts - all half off!  I also spent a lot of money at Target (I was literally down to the last roll of TP - I can't remember the last time that happened!), and went to the grocery store.  Oh, and I also stopped at our local REI, to pick up a jacket I ordered, and bought Sally a set of dog booties for future snow adventures.  *Phew!*

I recharged on coffee and checked the weather forecast, seeing that we had a storm headed our way.  Hmmm, should I do household chores, or go for a hike with the dog?  The picture above shows the answer.  I love that we don't have to drive far to get on a trail and walk over a few hills.  I was going to put the booties on Sal, but figured I'd wait until we were in actual snow, although I still had to clean mud off her feet, so might start using them for wet trails as well.

And this morning, oops, it just turned into afternoon, I've been reading about the tragedy in Tucson, and finishing the body of my purple sweater.  My goal is to get one sleeve done today.  We are getting snow, although less than a foot for the next 24 hours (so they say).  Mr W would be pleased indeed to have a snow day tomorrow.  Funny thing about all that housework stuff.  It waits, patiently.  OK, I think I'm ready.

Dispair and Triumph

I wanted to share a couple of Christmas pictures from Mr W's second Christmas.  That's one of the very few perks of having divorced parents, you get multiple Christmases, and therefore potentially more loot.  To keep Mr W humble, and to give myself a laugh, I do a couple of things at Christmas.  The first is to joke about giving underwear, and then to actually give underwear.  This is met with the following:

I then put a couple of things under the tree and make Mr W work for the rest.  A kind of scavenger hunt, that I realized too late was entirely too easy this year, but I'm up for the challenge and will tweak it a bit for next year.  It starts with an envelope under the tree, and then he's got to answer clues (maybe I'll have him do math problems next year...) to get to the next clue.  This year it was stuff like, "Where would you find a washcloth to wash your face?" and "Where do you put the tupperware away when you empty the dish drainer?"  Easy peasy.  The end results, though, are met with expressions like this:

I love the contrast.  And I wish I had a pair of Batman pants.

You nice people

I know I've been remiss about not mentioning my previous post on asking people who don't comment often to pipe up and say a few words.  I wanted to thank you for doing so; it's a lot of fun to know that there are people who I know through the blog that I've never met.  Pretty cool.  Mike mentioned that he had trouble commenting, and I wanted to say that I think that's a Blogger thing.  I often have to resubmit a comment 2-3 times for it to stick, and that's what I would try here if your comment doesn't go through the first time.  If I don't have the word verification on, then I open the comments up to spammers and we don't need to see those kinds of ads.  I had comment moderation on for a while, but forgot to check it, and Blogger held the comments until I remembered to check for them, so I turned it off.  Anyone who does the word verification thingy should be able to comment, so feel free to try.  Or not, I'm glad you're here.

Having a kid-free weekend coming up, I've been looking for things to do, and found something for a couple of weeks from now.  There's a group in town called Art Lab, dedicated to making art more accessible to everybody, a message I can certainly get behind.  They have this cool idea, called Art Lab Supper Club, where they have something like 50 people buy a $15 ticket for dinner, which is donated.  We'll listen to pitches made by local artists who need money to accomplish their projects, and at the end of the evening vote to determine who gets the ticket money from the night.  My friend D and I will go.  I love that kind of stuff.  I actually have a bit of an idea that I would pitch, and will talk to someone that night to see if it might be a contender at a future Supper.  It's not for me to make art, but to bring something in so others could sell their art. 

Oh, and I've been knitting.  I have a really neat scarf that I forgot to take a picture of, but will do that soon, and also have started another Leisl.  This time I am making the next size up, as my last one was too small (a heartbreak, but I'm going to give it to someone instead of ripping it out).  I'm also using two strands of yarn held together, on the big needles again, so it will have some heft to it, but be lacy, and also (this is a big part) use up yarn I've got on hand.  You'd think that wouldn't be a big deal, but it's actually hard to match a pattern you really like to yarn you already have.  It seems best to go the other way; see a pattern you like, then buy the yarn.  But yarn is so seductive - pretty, soft, full of promise, and people buy it just knowing they'll be able to do something with it.  Eventually. But, I like this so far.  A lot.  The yarn is better behaved than the last one, a lot less fuzzy, and this is machine washable yarn (although I probably won't actually do that for fear it'd come undone...).

It's not you. OK, it is.

Tweeeeeeeeet! And that wraps up another round of online dating. Before I leave the micro-micro-microcosm that is Match, I wanted to share a couple of quotes from some of the people that have viewed my profile lately and given me the notion that there's perhaps too many frogs to kiss on Match and I need to spread the word amongst people I know that I'm looking. You know, the old fashioned way...

OK, the quotes, unedited by me.

"I'v been on eHarmony for about 3 months now, and still looking for a woman who can get past the fact that my divorce is not yet final. Not yet a member on Match.com, just testing the waters."

"My passion in life is living in and expanding the Kingdom of God."

"I am just a man, who has seen many things, been many places, and seeks to find someone to share some old and new of each with."

"I wish success and acceptance among all people and I hope the meeting with a girl romantic arabic and understand that Life is a game doomed to fall and enjoy all the times"

The rest of them are all seeming to gel together and no one stands out. Must be time to take a break. And, by the way, the Kingdom of God stuff is all well and good, it just wasn't what I was expecting to find in a profile. Not to be disrespectful, but why bring Him into it at this stage?

I was communicating with two men lately. One is 9, the other 13 years older. Sure, sure, everyone says that age is one of the least important determinants, but here's the thing. Both have children in college, and mine is still too young to stay home by himself. It's a different thing that I don't think either of these people would end up embracing. So the one has stopped emailing, and I just canceled a meeting for coffee today with the other one. I don't know, it just didn't feel right, and I'm not going to ignore that.

I am happier and more content when I'm not on Match. I feel like doing the online dating thing takes mental and emotional energy from me that I should be spending elsewhere. So I'm going to look around and find some things to do this weekend. I'm sorry if you've been reading about my struggles with finding a mate with a big fat yawn. Hey, me too. I'm tired of the struggle. Instead of being optimistic, it feels like so much work. Lopsided and backwards.

However, it's going to be another beautiful day here in CO. I'm working on another quickie sweater that I hope to finish this weekend. The Christmas decorations need to come down, and I have decided to call a handyman to install the darn disposal that is STILL sitting in my kitchen. Another artifact of living alone.

Partial Holiday Recap

We had a wonderful time in South Carolina. Overall, it was a great Christmas and New Years, and I've got the signs of a cold coming on to prove it! The actual travel, after the initial snafu last Monday, was fine. Busy, tight connections, but fine. As I've mentioned before, being with my family recharges my batteries and the time spent with them is worth the hassle. We went to Folley Beach, shown above, on the warmest day. It was still a bit chilly, but so nice to be out there. It's funny how drawn the kids are to the water.

The weather was lovely. We also went to a local state park called Charlestown Landing, but I took pictures with my phone, and am not sophisticated enough to get those loaded onto my computer yet. The camera on my newish phone is really good for posting pictures to Facebook, though. My brothers took advantage of it being New Year's Eve and bought a bunch of fireworks, much to the kids' delight. The picture below shows some kind of strobe light one, and my younger brother is on the right, his girls in the middle, and Mr W on the left, dancing their moves. There were two other groups of people shooting off fireworks in the neighborhood, and it was very nice of the police not to ticket anyone - it was loud at times!


I got a chance (but forgot to take a picture - d'oh!) to see an old quilt top made by someone on my mom's side of the family that several years ago I had palmed off on my SIL. She got some input from experts on old quilts on it, and unfortunately, it can't have a backing slapped on it and be machine quilted. This means... Family Project!! It'll have to be hand quilted, so will start to be worked on by my SIL and my niece, and then I'll take it and work on it for a while. I've never hand quilted, but think that getting this thing done and made into the quilt it was meant to be is a worthy endeavor.

That SIL of mine also saved me gingerbread cookies they had made, and gave us ornaments they had made out of white clay - she's so crafty! She also wrapped and passed along something very dear to me, shown below. After my mom died, my dad had her wedding band made into rings for me and my sister. Three tiny diamonds, along with our birthstone, mine on the left, hers on the right. My brother in law got my sister's ring cleaned up and gave it to my SIL to give to me. To have this piece that was both hers, and has stones my mom wore for 30 years means so much to me. I was very grateful.


I need to get ready for work today, so will leave it there.

What a Day!

I'm sitting home this evening. I got up at 3 am today to take Mr. W and myself to the Denver airport, expecting to catch a flight to South Carolina to meet up with family. We went through security quickly, got to the gate, and got on the plane smoothly. Then we waited. Fifteen minutes. 30 minutes. Then the captain gets on and tells us we'll have to deplane because there something wrong with one of the engines.

So we get off, and I know that we are now going to miss our connection in Atlanta. Since I'm in the back of the plane, it takes forever to get off, and we find ourselves toward the back of the long line that has formed at the ticket counter, with a measly 2 agents rebooking people. I get about halfway through that line (in 1.5 hours) and then they need to use the gate for another flight, so they tell us to go over to the customer assistance desk, which is close by, but I can't hear anything, because I'm at the back of the line. So I end up toward the end of that line, and wait another 2 hours to get a flight, not to Charleston, but to Columbia, where I can then rent a car and drive the 95 miles. Mr W is a mess at this point, he's still fighting a cold, so he's coughing, and tired, and cranky. He couldn't seem to get past the fact that we did our end of the deal, we showed up on time and got on that plane.

So I've arranged to have us fly to Columbia. Then they delay the initial flight one more time, and that idea is gone. I go back and wait another 20 minutes and they say they can fly us to Atlanta tonight, put us up at their expense, and get us on a plane to Columbia tomorrow morning. That was just too many concessions on my part, I thought, so they ended up rebooking us for Wednesday. I was stymied: there is no way I can get to my destination, despite having paid $960 for two tickets and being at the airport at 5:30 this morning.

I need to look at the tickets again, I have a feeling we have a long layover in Atlanta, but oh well. By the time I've waited in line that long, my brain was all mushy and I just wanted for it to end. We left the airport about 9 hours after we got there, and immediately took a nap when we got home. I couldn't stop saying, "unbelievable!", although in my mind it was "un-f*ing-believable!!!!". Mr W's still sleeping, and I thought I'd get up so I could sleep tonight. I suspect he'll be able to sleep through.

This has been the wackiest family visit effort ever. Both of my sisters in law have injured one of their knees in the last week and are on crutches. My dad was going to come down on his way to Florida, but erred on the side of caution and is taking another route, so we won't see him. I will say this much: it makes me appreciate when things run as they should, and I won't take those times for granted. I was actually thinking after Thanksgiving that my travel had been surprisingly smooth for a long time. It was bound to happen.

So, the dog's in the kennel, we'll figure out something to do tomorrow, and we'll give it another go on Wednesday.

Is there a polite way...

As Christmas approaches, I think a lot of us sort of take stock of what we're thankful for, and perhaps get a little more time to think about things in general. That's been me the last couple of days, for sure.

It's going on three years that I have written about bits of my life in this blog. I appreciate that you have read it, and if you've commented, thanks for that too. It strikes me, though, as still a rather one-way form of communication. To that end, I am curious. Who reads my words? Is there a polite way to ask people who read but don't comment to write a comment to kind of introduce themselves? I feel goofy about asking, yet interested. Of course, feel free to not say anything.

We're going to go to church this evening, and then have nothing really scheduled for tomorrow, except I'm going to make cinnamon rolls and spaghetti and meatballs, and we'll go for a little hike. I thought to myself, "I wonder if this is the last Christmas when I'm planning to color my hair that evening because I've got nothing else going on." Yes, the search for Mr. Right has been on my mind a lot lately. I was downtown shopping on Tuesday and saw couples having fun shopping, where the man was engaged and paying attention to the woman, and it made me hopeful and also struck me as so odd, as though it has been so long since I've been the recipient of that, that I have forgotten how it feels. Boo hoo, poor me. I'll stop right there with that train of thought.

I have so much. I am lucky to be here now, doing pretty much what I want to do. I hope you and yours have a good holiday.

image from here.

Christmas Pumpkin

I have this to say about longevity. I took this picture yesterday, after setting this pumpkin out on the table for the squirrels as an early Christmas present. Where did I get this pumpkin? This is one of the two pumpkins I harvested from my garden. In August. I carved one for Halloween, and the other, this one (I'm kind of embarrassed to say) has been sitting on my table since then. The fact that I can have a pumpkin sit around on my table for that long without anyone mentioning it or complaining about it is one of the nice things about living alone.

Isn't it amazing that it would last this long? I was going to carve it, but didn't get around to it. Then I was going to bake it, but reasoned that there probably wouldn't be much of the good stuff, as this is a carving pumpkin, not a pie pumpkin. So it sat. And sat. When I finally got around to picking it up, I wasn't sure if the bottom would drop out, but it looks the very same as when it was picked. I was surprised it didn't rot.

So, bon apetit, squirrels. And Merry Christmas.

Christmas Week Rainbow

There was a magnificent rainbow on display this morning as I took Mr W to his day care. These pictures are (obviously) taken from my car. It was a screamer of a rainbow, too. Its ends brightened and faded, but it spent a lot of time being a whole rainbow. Mr W and I agreed that it was very cool to see the rainbow in front of the foothills.

In other news, I had a tech come out and look at a problem we've been having on a piece of equipment. "Been having" as in this is the third time its happened and my frustration at not being able to do my work was obvious. Also, I was annoyed that we have a new company servicing this equipment, instead of the people that manufactured the thing. My hopes were not high for this visit, and he was taking forEVER.

And you know what? I think he sussed out what the problem was, and furthermore, it's probably something I was doing. Damn!! The thing's got a cover that flips up and down and you're supposed to turn these screws to get everything tightened down. Lo and behold, I have not been tightening the screws enough, and we think that's led to the thing not working right. So it's not something that needed to be fixed per se, but rather an adjustment on my part. We wouldn't have figured it out unless the guy was as thorough as he was. I'm looking forward to getting up and running on this machine again.

Thinking about Christmas

I was thinking the other day how this is shaping up to be a good Christmas. I'm sure I'll feel the loss of loved ones at some point in the celebrating; it seems to sneak up on me at these family-oriented times. Aside from the finding-Mr.-Right-for-me thing, I'm pleased with my life.

Along the lines of appreciating what I have, I ran across this post from the blog of the radio show On Being, with Krista Tippett. She's got it going on, and explores topics that for whatever reason really resonate with me. In general, she interviews people who are religious without saying they are, you know? People who are living their values, and people who are thinkers about that kind of thing.

So, the link is about something called a devotional exercise this last week before Christmas. It has WONDERFUL poems, which really resonated with me, like this one by Derek Walcott:

“Love after Love”
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

There's a little exercise for each day this week. I think it's worth reading the poems if nothing else.

Sick Day

Mr. W is home sick this morning, so I am home as well. I suppose there's never a good time to take time off of work. I've got a bunch of stuff to do at work today, so mulled over making him go to school anyway. But he's got a slight fever, which means he might be infectious, and I hate the idea of parents sending sick kids to school for the parent's own convenience.

I'm lucky to have a pretty healthy kid. He's not been prone to getting many colds, which I think sometimes makes him a fussy patient when he is feeling poorly (just not used to the idea). We're sitting here watching episodes of Star Wars Clone Wars (fyi: the general is the bad guy - just sayin'). I'll take Mr. W's temperature again at lunch time, and we'll see if he can do the afternoon at school. If not, that's OK.

Meanwhile, I plan to do some cooking, and... I don't know what else. I'll need to go to the office later (kids under 16 aren't allowed in the labs at work) to submit my time card. Knowing me, I'll need to feel like I "got something done" today. Maybe I'll get the garbage disposer installed...

Happy Birthday, Bob

I spend probably too much time on Facebook. It's been great fun for me to get back in touch with old friends, and is useful for keeping in touch with family. One thing FB does is to tell you when your friends' birthdays are. Today there was a little notice saying I had two friends with birthdays. It is the birthday of my graduate advisor, the person responsible for getting me into graduate school this last time. She definitely took a chance on me, and I am grateful for that.

It's also the birthday of another influential person, Bob. If I hadn't met Bob when I was a senior in college, looking for a Biology class to fill one more requirement, I might not have even pursued a PhD. It's funny how you meet people in life who, as you look back, you see that your life went in a particular direction after that.

I enrolled in a course called Animal Behavior. Bob was in this class, as was a guy named Phil, and the three of us were education majors. We often worked together, and these two non-traditional students really opened my eyes to some possibilities in life. They had both returned to school to finish their degrees, and had lived some. I was a 22 year old inertia-driven student who wasn't so sure she wanted to jump right into a teaching job after she got done with her degree.

Bob was/is passionate about the outdoors: nature, photography, the environment. Passionate. Discussions with him led to my going to graduate school (the first time) to study the behavior of juvenile bald eagles. He put in a good word for me when I applied for a summer job where he worked, and later I got a full time job at this same park. Working at that park led me to the desire to return to school to study native plant genetics, which I eventually did do for my PhD. He was the best man in my wedding, as he and the x were quite close, and we and Bob and his wonderful wife Denise did a lot of fun stuff when we lived in that part of the world. Yup, Bob was a big influence.

So, Happy Birthday, Bob. I wish you many more.

In my best interest

I've been thinking lately about the things I have learned from the people I have dated since I was divorced. The list is long, and I think it is probably inevitable that we learn things about life and ourselves from the people we come in contact with in our lives. Introspection is a tricky thing with me, though. If I spend too long on it, it's not helpful, but if I do it right, I get these little bursts of insight from time to time.

Last spring I met B online and we dated for a few months. B is very athletic, and I wanted to be more like that. It was a great summer for going camping again, and hiking more often. I rafted for the first time in decades, and mountain biked for the first time. The best part was that it started to occur to me that I might like to go hiking on my own. Well, with the dog, who LOVES to hike, especially if there's water. That was an important bit of it, that the thought came to me saying I might want to get up early and walk for a few hours to get out and enjoy the scenery, work my body, exercise my dog, etc.

On a related note, my brother and SIL include Spin classes in their exercise routine, and now I do the same. I can't say as I've HAD an exercise routine in a long time, maybe ever, but for some reason, maybe that Mr. W is easy to bring along, and the time of the class is right, I've done it for the last 6 weeks, and hope to keep doing it. I've even, as I mentioned the other day, gotten a third day of exercise in by going back to the gym.

Also, did you see the story on a study that suggested (although they don't know the mechanism) that a daily aspirin, started at around age 45, showed promise in preventing certain types of cancer? That's a little fuzzy, but enough for me to have bought a bottle of aspirin, and I now take one alongside my vitamin and fish oil capsules.

So what is my motivation here? I often feel like I'm being pursued by the same early death that claimed my mom and sister. Doing what I can to live a healthy life goes a long way in easing my mind that I gave it my best shot. But this exercise stuff, I must tell you, makes me feel good. Simple as that. When I am finished, I am composed, even-keeled, I just feel good. So far, that has been a big part of the motivation to make the time to exercise, I'm just a little bummed out that it took so long for me to realize it. I'm glad it wasn't too late for me to realize the benefits.

Temporary Setback

There I was, minding my own business last night, when I was beset upon by a bout of food poisoning. After a lovely day, I ended up with a frequently-interrupted night's sleep, after which I got up for a bit, drank some water, and went back to bed for another couple of hours. The dog was looking at me oddly, but is supportive in her Sally-ish way. Staying close.

Thank the gods for Immodium. I know there's times when you don't want to use it, but after the offending food is, um, gone, it makes a big difference. It's a weird feeling, having this happen when I'm by myself. On the one hand, I don't really want anyone around, but on the other, it'd be nice to wring some sympathy out of a supportive partner. I know I could have called someone if it came to that. Heck, I could have driven myself to the ER if necessary.

Today I feel better. I ate a small bowl of cereal, and am sipping on some coffee, here at almost noon, and things seem to be staying put in a good way. I need to cook a meal for some folks at church, and it is (I'm so sorry to report to the people east of here that read the blog) going to be 50 and sunny today, so would like to take Sally out for a short hike, if I feel up to it. Otherwise, I think it's a pull-out-the-knitting and take it easy sort of day.

The Great Disposer Replacement - Update

Well, the thing is in my house. And I did go back to the hardware store where the very helpful clerk got me set up with lots of plastic pipe.

But I have not started.

You know what I did today? I had a really great day - no regrets.

I went to the gym and worked out, which is unheard of for me - I hope it's the start of a trend. How have I gone so long in my adult life without realizing the mental/emotional benefits of moderately strenuous exercise a few times a week? It's like no one told me, although really it's that I wasn't listening. I've been taking Spin classes twice a week, and the goal is to do a third day of working out on the elliptical rider.

I attended a clinic on beginning snowshoeing at our local REI. Who knew there was enough to talk about to fill an hour and a half? Very interesting, and they rent shoes and poles, so that is definitely on my list to try this winter.

And I had lunch with dear friend D, and we did a little shopping and had coffee, too. I got home, took the dog to the dog park, went to the library, and THEN went to the hardware store. I sort of felt bad that I didn't get to it today, but who cares? There's no one lined up to use the sink, so I'll give it a go tomorrow.

Do no harm

I'm not all that good at home repair or improvement projects. I'll figure out some kind of band-aid type fix for as long as I can, and then maybe try to fix it, or have someone come in. Case in point is my kitchen sink. For the last, oh, I don't know, maybe year, it's been leaking. My solution? Put a pan under the leak, which gets emptied daily. Somewhere along this time, the disposal stopped working, so I've been trying to not let any food go down that sink. The other day, the sink faucet seems to have developed a slow leak.

I guess it's time to do something about this. I've looked at the plumbing book from the library, and it doesn't look too hard to replace an existing disposal. I'll get some washers to fix the leaky faucet today, and have to replace the part under the sink that's leaking too. I went to Home Depot last night, thinking two things: 1) nothing shouts "I'm single!" like going to HD by yourself on a Friday night, and 2) there should be ample help around, because no one shops on Friday nights. Well, I managed to walk in the store, find the disposals, pick one out, and pay for my purchase with the self-check register, all without one HD employee talking to me. Not one.

After I finished, I went up to the girl who was staffing the self-check registers and told her this, and she said, "I'm so sorry! Can we help you?" And I said, "No, I'm going to go to Ace now, and get the rest of the parts I need. You people need to circulate more instead of standing around talking."

So I went to Ace, which is closer to my house anyway, and the nice older guy sold me a kit, which doesn't quite work, but I'll go back today and get the right pieces. Wish me luck, I'll post pictures and hopefully get this done today. In a flash of brilliance, I remembered I should wash the sinkful of dishes BEFORE I get started, just in case this takes a couple of days.

Tis the $eason

We had our company Christmas party last night. Although I work for the CDC, I'm a contractor, and so the contracting company is technically my employer. The food was good, the drinks flowed, and it was fun to chat with people. I had Mr W that night, so I didn't really think twice about bringing him with me. And he was content to read for an hour, and when the food still wasn't there, play games on my phone until the food got there and again after people had finished. All told, he sat there for three hours.

Now some people will argue that seeing kids play with electronic devices is somehow proof that "kids these days" can't sit down and have dinner with a bunch of grown ups. I'd counter that, in Mr W's case, he could, but he doesn't have to, he's got the device, so why not let him use it?

After we were done with dinner, the head of the company got up and said some words about how the year was, and how much they appreciated our work, and that sort of thing. He and the other two people from the company passed out a few awards, and then he got on this train of thought about how having a supportive spouse or partner really is the thing makes it possible for us all to do a good job. I was politely listening up to this point, but heard this, and turned to my friend and said quietly, "I disagree, strongly". I don't think he meant anything by his remarks, they were just off the cuff, but geez.

So he sits back down and we finish our dessert (cheesecake with bits of white chocolate in it, btw) and he says, from the head of the table, "I've never seen a boy behave so well at one of these things, so here is $50 to wish you a Merry Christmas", and hands my kid a $50 bill. Mr W looked up as soon as he started speaking, and at first didn't get it, but then stood up, took the money, and said thank you. He kept looking at me, saying, "Really?". I was surprised too, and told him that on our way out, I wanted him to go up to the guy, look him in the eye, shake his hand and say thank you again. And Mr W did, without hesitation, and I that makes me really proud of him. I'll take my mommy taxes of 10% to savings and 5% to charity, but he's still got a hefty chunk of fun money, and the possible ways to spend it will keep him occupied for a few days.

In other news, I did take my profile down on Match, and am taking a break. Going to turn my attention outward, to interact with real people. Not sure what I'm going to do this weekend, there's lots of holiday stuff going on, and Mr W's with his dad. I'm tempted to go down to the botanic garden in Denver and see the lights there, as Mr W would be ho-hum about it, and I think I'd really enjoy it.

Huh?

To enlighten those of you lucky dogs who are already in a relationship and aren't familiar with the workings of Match.com, I will share the following humorous anecdote. And, I am a little envious of you, btw. OK, so on the site, if you are a paying member, you can send and receive emails, and also see who has taken a look at your profile. It is that last feature of Match that I think is so addictive - "who's viewed me?"

Everyone, though, can "wink" for free. The way it works is that if I (and I don't use winks, I'd rather show I'm interested by risking whatever and sending an email) find someone attractive, then I can wink at them. This tells them I'm interested, and then supposedly (hopefully?) he emails back and we live happily ever after.

So, I've gotten a few winks, some from people who haven't even looked at my profile. But I got a wink from a guy yesterday, who is local, and wrote a good profile. Maybe this wasn't the right way to go, but I sent him an email whose subject line was "winks are lame!". The email itself was one sentence: "I challenge you to write a haiku about the holidays, instead".

My thinking was that if this person would take the challenge, then for sure he'd be someone I'd at least like to have coffee with. Yes, it was a bit sassy, and maybe pushy. He responded only a couple of minutes later, which is unusual for the way it works on Match. His response was:

"Sorry, I don't speak Japanese"

OK, he surprised me on that one, and I still don't know if he was serious or not. His profile has several pictures of dirt bikes and snow mobiles, and is it possible that someone would not know what a haiku was? But he knew it was Japanese. Your thoughts?

*Sigh* I'm ready to take a bit of a break from Match. A week, I think. I did email someone yesterday, who seems really interesting, but has one big red flag for me (he's trying to quit smoking). But, I haven't heard anything, and he can email even if I take my profile down. The thought of being given a break from Match has made me a little excited, so it's probably time.

Ahem

OK, so yesterday's post was a necessary cathartic and I'm doing much better this morning, thanks. I guess I will leave it up for a while, although it embarrasses me a little. The last part, though, I meant. My cheap two-cents' worth pop psychology is that this guy is simply not ready. He's not over his divorce.

Moving on, then.

I did some Christmas shopping last night, online of course. Mr W made a list that says, in two places, "other things". To his credit, the kid has perused several catalogs and checked off his picks for his awesome aunties, and may be experiencing some list fatigue. So, I've taken a little bit of liberty with his list. This has not always gone well in the past.

Suffice it to say that I've purchased some "educational" toys that were less than hits. That's OK, I think that gift giving should be kind of a two way thing, in that it's OK to buy things you think the recipient would like. The recipient isn't obligated to love the gift, though.

Anyway, I did buy his most-asked-for item about a week ago, and it's been delivered. When I said the name of it, "Bakugan Draganoid Colossus", the ladies at the dog park (none of whom have 9 year old boys) made me repeat it several times.

Here's where I have strayed off the list. Below, see the more engineering-sort of Lego set, from the Technic series. They're supposed to be more realistic in terms of pistons and gears and such. We'll see how he likes it.


These are Snap Circuits. There are a bunch of projects that involve the kid putting the pieces in the right order to make things like a doorbell, AM radio, etc.

Those are from the geek-mom in me. I'm always a sucker for an educational toy. I'm about done, but was dismayed that the video game I was waiting to buy, is sold out for the moment, and I hope I can get it before Christmas. I was waiting for an Amazon gift card to come in the mail, and in that time, the game sold out. Grrr.

Anyway, today's a better day - fresh start and that sort of thing. Work has been wacky, but that's another post.

Timing

To the guy I had coffee with on Saturday:

Well, it's been two days and change now, and although you asked if you could keep emailing me, and I said yes AND gave you my phone number, I've not heard bupkiss from you. Darn it, too, because I've been thinking for the last two days how we had some potential, and that you were someone I'd like to get to know better.

Alas, there's been no communication. Part of me hates leaving it in the guy's hands, but that's kind of how this ritual works, and I'm usually OK with that because it lets you either show you're interested or not. But next time? Next time you engage in this exciting, sometimes anxiety-provoking, uncomfortable process of trying to meet a new partner, would you please either be interested or be not interested?

Don't waste my valuable time by dribbling out your attention until it falls to nothing. I will not chase you when you throw me scraps; that defeats the purpose.

I got a clue when I emailed you and you said you "had been swamped". Oh my, yes. So busy. Well, of course, meeting an exciting new person pales in comparison to working, getting your car fixed and the day to day drudgery that life often dishes up, doesn't it? It takes so long to write the two or three sentences you graced me with per email. Saying you've been busy is the lamest excuse for not bothering to communicate. Ever. Don't use it, OK? Grow a pair and just say you don't think it's a good match.

And, to quote the words I use when I'm not interested, "I wish you the best of luck in your search".
LindaCO

PS Here's what I told myself this morning:

One of these days, a man will walk, literally, or figuratively, into my life. I will be amazed when I talk to this man and find out all the things we have in common. I will smack my forehead repeatedly when I think about how this person and I are such a great fit in terms of temperament, goals, and lifestyle. I will bore my friends with tales about how much this man "gets" me. How he laughs at my jokes, is incredibly handsome and witty, loves his family, takes pride in his job, and how we can talk for hours about all sorts of things. I will get down on my knees and thank the powers that be for sending this person into my life, as I have never felt a love so deep and generous before. We'll build a life together, surrounded by friends and family, and together become this other thing, this thing that is more than the sum of our parts. That, THAT, Mr. Coffee Shop man, is what I am talking about.

This year's tree

My holiday decorating is nothing to write home about, really. My sister's family has all the ornaments I grew up with, and the x kept all the ornaments from when we were married because his aunt made them. That first Christmas that I was on my own (the divorce becoming final a scant 9 days before Christmas) I bought a bunch of cheap plastic snowflakes, and a bunch of those satin ball ornaments for my tree. That was pretty much all that was on the tree that year, besides lights.

But I hit the after-Christmas sales that year for ornaments, and have done this most years since. Paying $3 is a lot more palatable to me than $6, and there's usually a few things that catch my eye, although by the time I get to the stores, things have been picked over pretty good. Over time, the proportion of snowflakes and satin balls has gone down relative to the ornaments I have purchased myself.

If I had to, I don't think I could name more than a third of what I have wrapped up carefully in tissue paper. So when I unwrapped each one today, I said something like "Oh, I love this one!". It was like they were new again. It's important for me to have a tree, and with it establish some kind of holiday constancy for Mr W, even if we don't have many other Christmas traditions. That is, unless you count the tradition of him saying, "is (name of a gift that he wants) in this package?" And I always give an emphatic YES! Then I tell him it's pretty much all socks, underwear, and pajamas (the Christmas gift trifecta) so he should be grateful for what he gets. Actually, I do tell him that last part, even if he's not thrilled with the present, he has to say thanks.

In other news, my coffee date went well. He made me laugh, and although I can't remember about exactly what, I'd sure like to see him again. We had some common ground in terms of the kind of work we do, and he's got kids, and some other stuff as well. Way too soon to tell anything, but it was good to get out and meet someone nice. I've gotten more emails this time around on Match, and none of them were people that I thought I would be a good fit with.

Little Circs

Disclaimer: This post contains a bunch of knitspeak.

I started these at the airport when I was traveling for Thanksgiving. The yarn came from Michael's or Hobby Lobby, and I wasn't sure if I'd like it, especially when I started the ribbing at the top. It was a bit splitty and a bit fuzzy, but for a plain stockinette sock (no pattern; CO 60 sts on a 1 1/2 needle), it is just fine. Can't beat the price, which I think was about $4-5 a ball.

You'll notice that these are knit on a 9" circular. They take a bit of getting used to, as they are pretty small in your hands. However, you can FLY on a plain stockinette sock. I think that if I had to do lots of ribbing, or anything with a chart in the pattern, these would not be the needle to use; double pointed needles would be necessary. But I love how I can just go and go on these, and the sock appears. I did have to use dpns on the heel flap, and then went back to the circular needle after I had decreased back down to 60 sts.

In other news, I'm supposed to meet someone new tomorrow, that I met on Match. Our communication has been sporadic, and I don't have any strong feelings either way on what I want, so we'll see how it goes. He seems like a good guy, has kids, is local, is even a lab geek like myself.