It feels right to mark the day

My sister, on the right in this photo, passed away four years ago yesterday. For some reason I had it in my head that today was the date, but it was yesterday. The ladies in the middle are our sisters in law, who are really and truly like sisters to me still. 

I was going through old pictures on my back up disk (how's that for 21st century perspective) and found this one. This was taken in 2005, the summer I filed for divorce and my siblings and their families came out and stayed at the house (where Mr W's dad lives now) for a few days. It's a big house and there was plenty of room for all. It was so good to see them, seeing this picture reminds me of how relieved I was that they came out. 

Kris was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer a year and a few months after this picture was taken. Early detection could very well have saved her life, but no one thought to look for cancer in an otherwise healthy 43 year old. One gift of this very sad affair is that my brothers and I now get checked regularly by getting our colonoscopies. So far so good. 

I think now about how I miss having her as a confidant and general sounding board. We would talk once a week or so. I still consider myself blessed with good friends and a loving and supportive family, but there is a hole there. One thing I've noticed is that I write in a journal more often than I used to. It's pretty mundane stuff, working things out. Seems a good system.