Mr W comes home from school occasionally and laments how other kids sometimes sort of pick on him. They will trade insults, and kids sometimes will get in his face a bit and ask what he's doing. For the latter, I talked to him about how it's probably a fun thing for the other kid if Mr W shows how annoyed he is. For the former, I advised keeping his jabs clever, but not personal. Somehow, he didn't see that making a dig about a kid's C+ on his report card wasn't hurtful.
It's hard to think on one's feet, and difficult to negotiate all the social stuff of middle school. It's funny that one of the kids that annoys him at the moment is a squirt about 6" shorter than Mr W. I wonder if these kids instinctually jab at him because they know he's pretty peaceful (although he did say he wanted to slam this kid into the lockers...).
We talked about ways to deflect annoying people, and I'm pleased to say that it worked, at least it did yesterday. I suggested that when the kid came up to him and started asking how he's doing, that he say something like, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk to you right now. I'm (insert something boring and mundane here)". The kid was thrown off his game a bit, and Mr W can now come up with any number of snide remarks: "I'm traveling in the 11th dimension" "I'm working on a plan for world peace" "I'm watching my fingernails grow". He seemed pleased that he was able to have some control over how the interaction took place, and I'll be interested to see if the other kid leaves him alone so he can find someone else who is more fun to bother.
Good goin', Mom! It sure does keep you on your toes coming up with the "right" things to say in those situations, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteSadly, so easy to see how kids become bullies and how other kids become the targets. The action and interaction of it all. Mr. W is fortunate to have you in his corner supplying tools he can use. And the fact that he talks with you about what is going on in his day-to-day life. Not all kids have a caring parent like you. But Mr. W does! Yay!
Yes! Although that often doesn't stop me from going on and on about things :-)
DeleteMiddle school is brutal for both boys and girls. That is very good advice that you're giving him - how great that you two have such a good relationship, and that he thinks enough of you to follow your advice. A rarity today.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. It seems a kid's natural reaction of being annoyed is fodder for kids who want to aggravate things.
DeleteThat's great advice! I might have to suggest something similar to the girl, who gets made fun of (still) for being short. Middle school is hard. Good kids say mean things they later regret. Tough stuff.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping M finds effective ways to not take their words to heart.
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