Monday, November 17, 2008

A Longish Slog

Have you ever read this little story/joke?

Dog Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 983 of my captivity.My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Hee hee.

I'm not as bad off as that poor cat, but I have been counting the days since I talked to CB. Usually when he's off working, he checks in every three or four days. Overall, I've been impressed by the degree to which there are internet connections in the places he goes.

Alas, this trip has not had such 21st century conventions. He's on a ship, cruising the sub-antarctic islands. Indeed, I hadn't heard of them either until learning about this trip. Perhaps there isn't an internet connection, or it's so expensive he's not using it, but I haven't heard from CB in 10 days!! OK, I guess it's 9, but still.

I'm fine, I have enough to do, and am working on no less than 4 knitting projects and one felted sweater that wants to be a bag. I certainly don't lack for activities. But this trip has made me realize that I like hearing from CB when he's traveling.

Thankfully, the time change on this trip isn't as bad as going to Australia, where it's either 8 or 10 hours earlier on the next day there. It's only 4 hours earlier on the next day. Hopefully that will be a plus when it's time to come back to this time zone.

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Hi, sorry to make the humans do an extra step.