Low spot

I recently ended my relationship with CB, and I've been melancholy ever since. I know it was the right decision, but owing to how his personality isn't to blame, and what I potentially gave up, well, it's just going to take some time to feel better.

We met online, on a site for science-y types, and from the beginning we were 900 miles apart. We talked on the phone, sometimes for hours, and exchanged emails. About five or six weeks into it, he asked if I would fly out to meet him, and then we'd drive the eight hours to Los Angeles for a concert he had tickets to. Even though I've told this story several times, it still looks like I took this huge chance with this person I met online. I never felt any red flags come up and we had a great time. Nothing like spending eight hours in a car to begin to spend time together!

Since he travels for a living and is on the road for two or three weeks at a time every three or four weeks or so, we settled into a routine of me flying out there for a few days every 5 weeks or so. Sometimes we'd have to wait longer, and I remember the first summer we were dating I waited an excruciating 7 weeks while he went to Alaska, and then to Nova Scotia, and then I had to travel for my work. A big concern for me for the first year or so was that he'd determine that it wasn't worth the trouble, and would decide to end it. But he didn't.

We went to California twice to go whale watching, and I looked forward to the opportunity to travel with him while he was working. He leads bird watching tours and that would be right up my alley. Unfortunately, the money was never there, and I spent all of my vacation time on our monthly visits.

I will miss my time with him. We started dating a couple of years after I was divorced, but I was still, in retrospect, feeling the effects of having been married for 15 years and having the rug pulled out from under me. To be with someone who accepts and appreciates you for who you are is a rare and wonderful thing indeed.

I'm looking forward to doing more in my community, maybe getting some work done on the house and have decided I'll teach again next semester. I've missed talks with my sister acutely during this time, and it's been odd and sad not to have her counsel.

Thanks, CB. Our time together changed me for the better.