Has this ever happened to you? You go along in life, doing the things you are supposed to be doing, meeting your obligations, and although you do all the required stuff you usually do, it just seems hard to get things done, and things aren't as fun as they usually are? OK, that's probably not a sentence, but hopefully you can follow.
More to the point, I feel better the last few days than I have felt for a while. As if I've left a burden behind, or am moving away from something. I think I placed a lot of significance in the anniversary of my sister's death, and was dreading the lead-up to it. Now that it's past, and I've talked to most of my family about it, it seems appropriate to start looking ahead again, instead of back.
I hate how the process made me feel like everything was off kilter at times. And it is a process. Losing a close sibling is a big hit, and there will always be a hole there. It coincided with some doctor stuff I was tending to (check ups, and everything's fine) and my mortality seemed to loom large over everything. I don't want to be the next one in my family who dies young. But that one doesn't haunt me often, thankfully.
Anyway, so I gave the talk at work, and a couple of people's comments reminded me how much I like teaching, and I start to wonder about what I should be doing with my life professionally. And then, I got a good night's sleep.
I think I get just enough sleep to not be tired during the day, and not get sick very often. I usually get between 6-7 hours, and that seems to work. I'm tired at the end of the day (like now) and get up early enough to give myself some knitting or blog or Facebook time before I start my day.
Well, I was going to get up at 6 yesterday and head off to work, but fell back asleep for two more hours. It was afterwards that I got the idea that maybe I could teach one community college course in the summer or fall and see if I like it.
It is rest that begets these crazy ideas. I didn't feel any more energized, just more optimistic. It's funny how that works. I don't know if I'll do it, but I am going to think about it. I have a contact person at our local community college, and was set to teach a couple of courses there when the divorce stuff started a few years ago.
So on that note, I'm off to load the coffee pot for tomorrow and head off to bed.