What you really really want

Feeling better this morning about the job thing.  I had a good talk with my supervisor yesterday and we got caught up on the things projects I've been working on.  It's a good situation, where I go and do my thing and he is very hands-off. He said there will be layoffs, and that I "should be OK".  As these things go, I'll have to assume some duties of people who get laid off, so it looks like learning something about mosquito morphology is in my future.  I haven't had to learn because there's always others around to ID the bugs that way and my thing is to get their story through their DNA.  But I'll look at them in the microscope, and learn the terminology. 

This means of course, that some people are going to lose their jobs, and I can't help but feel bad for them and a little guilty that I got to stay.  Having a couple of weeks of uncertainty and "what ifs" about the prospect of losing my job tweaked me out enough to know these folks are in for a jolt. 

The flowers above are two African Violets that have decided they really like the north-facing window and I've gotten a winter time flower fix from having them around. The one on the right languished in its pot, crowded with offshoots.  I took those out and replanted them in separate pots, and this one, with a little more legroom now, has gone bonkers. 

But back to the job thing.  I pitched my idea of taking a 30% pay cut in order to go back to school and this was met with, "well, I don't know how we'd do that, and either you're here to do the work, or I can find someone else".  Not in a bad way, but my boss wants a full time person to do the work, and I respect that.  However.  The prospect of doing this other thing, the instructional design thing, is still appealing and I'm wondering if I could still pull it off. 

Hence the title of this post. Next year will likely find me in the same position, wondering if I'll be renewed.  There's also no room for advancement in my job. Even if I became and FTE, I'd still be a tech.  Most of me is OK with that, seeing that if affords me to do what I want in my off time.  But there's a nagging bit of me that wants to know how I can be satisfied with just doing that.  I could take these online courses on my own time and get the certificate while I'm working full time. I imagine most, if not all of the people doing the certificate are simultaneously working, so it's possible. I'm daunted by the fact that it's a 6 credit course per semester, which by my recollection is a full load by graduate school standards. So, I'm ruminating on this still and relieved that it looks like my job looks like it is safe for another year.