Saved by technology

I looked forward yesterday to going to another old time music jam with the group that meets weekly. My previous experience had left me frustrated, and this time I was looking forward to my teacher attending the jam as well.

Earlier that day, I recalled how someone at another jam had a tablet computer with him, which I presume he used to look up information about the songs that were played. This made a little lightbulb light up over my head and I thought I'd bring my laptop to the jam so I could look up the chords. Then at the dog park, E suggested I just use my phone for the same purpose. Brilliant!

So I settled in at the jam, took out my phone, and saw a text from my teacher that she was unable to come to the jam because she was nursing a sick boyfriend. *sigh* I ordered a beer, started playing and it all worked out. Most of the core group knows the songs so well that all one of them has to do is start playing, and everyone knows what it is. Last night, they called out the name, I'd look up the song and try to follow along.

These people play pretty darn fast. But I don't want them to slow down, I need to be able to speed up my playing. As it was, I just strummed in time instead of doing the finger picking with my right hand, and concentrated on trying to do the chords. Most of the time, I am proud to say, I could follow visually where we were on the chord chart - which is saying a lot for me! I even made my hand make the right chords in the right order a few times - success!

I feel like I'm better prepared now to go to these things, and will have my trusty phone with me to help with the chords. There are over a hundred songs (easily) that they choose from, so I have no hope of getting them all learned immediately. This link is to a site with the chords, and I suggest you go there if you'd like a laugh because of the names of some of these songs. My personal favorite: "Squirrel Heads and Gravy".

And my teacher did show up eventually. She came without her banjo, which told me that she thought it was important to be there because I was there, even if it was for the tail end of the evening. I appreciate that. I offered my banjo to her to play for a couple of songs, and she got to play a bit.

Lighter fare

I had to share this picture, seen on my SIL's Facebook page that makes me smile. I don't think my dear Sally has been this tired, but she's young yet.

I like the mindset of someone who would think to do this...

Please read

March is colorectal cancer awareness month. Because my sister died much too young of colon cancer that likely went undetected for years before she felt sick enough to get it checkout out (and by then it was too late), I'm spreading the word that all eligible people should get screened. She was 43 when she was diagnosed, and our family history was too spotty (rumors that grandma had something removed from her colon years ago) to prompt us to get early screenings.

At the tender age of 46, I've had two colonoscopies, and both have found nothing amiss. Yes, the prep is unpleasant, but not painful. Don't plan any errands for this time. The first one I had about a month after Kris was diagnosed, which set me up for the every-five-years plan. The second one was normal as well, and this brings me a peace of mind because immediate family members of colon cancer victims are at a higher risk of developing the disease themselves.

The thing about colon cancer is that it is relatively easy (once you get the camera in there) to diagnose and treat IF it's caught early. That's why getting a colonoscopy is so important. This link is from a young woman who had symptoms for a few years before her cancer was discovered and treated. It contains the expected joke or two that involves the backside, just so you're ready. The CDC has a page as well that describes who should get screened and how it works.

I pick fruit

If you're having icky weather in your part of the world, don't look at the forecast for the next week for Fort Collins. No one here is naive enough to think that we're done with snow for the season, but we're supposed to have several days of spring-like weather that makes my thoughts turn to this year's garden.

Two years ago, I got a couple of bookcases from work, knocked the backs off and made raised beds out of them. Overall, they have been a good choice for this project. Last year I reinforced the corners with wood screws, but missed on one corner, and that corner let go over the winter. Not a lot, but it needed to be shored up.

I am a big fan of rebar, metal poles 3/8" or 1/2" in diameter. I bought a bunch of 3' pieces to shore up the two beds. For the loose corner, I dug the soil away and then, in a move that must have looked less than poised, pushed on the side of the raised bed with my foot, and pounded two pieces of rebar to hold the vertical side of the raised bed in place. It worked fine, and I reinforced the other sides as well.

Last year I bought some landscape timbers to use for edging, and ended up not using them, so they sat for a while, and then I thought I'd make a third raised bed from them.

This is from last July, but shows one layer of timbers. I've got enough timbers for three layers, and I started putting that together yesterday. The weather was so nice that I was surprised to find the mulch still frozen on the lower left corner such that I couldn't really move it all yet. 

It's going to be a nice sized bed, and I've been thinking about what I should put there. I'm OK with narrowing the kinds of stuff I plant. I'm growing all the vegetables that Mr W and I will eat in the two existing beds, and I'm more than OK with buying veggies at the farmers market to supplement. We both love fresh fruit in the summertime, though, so I'm going to plant this third bed with strawberries. I'll also ramp up our cantaloupe plantings. You can see the raspberry patch between the two beds that's been nice to have, although not much of the fruit makes it into the house because we eat it as it's picked. The dog really likes raspberries too.

And since I like roses, I'm going to stick a new, to be determined variety of rose bush in there as well. I've got a bunch of compost that I can put on the bottom of this bed, and was talking to friends at the dog park who mentioned a couple of people with trucks that might help with soil hauling. 

I'm going to get the deck built off the living room (so help me), and will have it built so it's sturdy enough to support a grape vine for shade. With the apple tree, that'll be five kinds of fruit we'll grow ourselves in this so-so fruit growing part of the world. Now, if I could find the space for a cherry tree....

Freakonomics

I'm still a podcast junkie. My favorites include Radiolab, NPR's Talk of the Nation (which has Science Friday), Harry Shearer's LeShow, a BBC Medical podcast called Medical Matters, a knitting one called Cast On, and a few others.

I was looking around for some new material and found the Freakonomics podcast. I love a show that can hold my attention for an entire hour. Their tagline is "The hidden side of everything". As in you might think you know that A leads to B which leads to C, but you may not have known that this thing affected B, so it very well could have been D, but was C instead.

And I, for one, find that kind of thing endlessly fascinating. I love hearing about the connections between seemingly unrelated things. The first show I listened to had to do with how people rate more expensive wines as tasting better, but if they don't know how much a bottle costs, the vast majority of people can't tell cheaper wine from expensive. Then it had a story of a restaurant where a woman was served a salad, and there was a dead mouse in it, and used that to illustrate how if companies take responsibility for crazy stuff like that, it not only allows the company to examine how it does things (as in there were probably five people who should have seen the mouse on its way to the table), it also makes people more loyal when the company owns up to their mistakes.

So interesting. Their blog has a bit on gas prices. Some folks want to blame the president for high gas prices, but the post today walks through how it's (not surprisingly) more complicated than that.

I'm a Meetup gal this weekend, and otherwise hope to do a bunch of bracelet/button stuff. I worked on getting a packaging card for the buttons yesterday, and it's almost there. Tweak and print, tweak and print. The Meetups include a parent's night out with the single parent group, board games with another group (something almost out of my comfort zone, but sounded fun), and lunch with a social group from my church. I'm blessed and lucky.

Oh, and I got the word yesterday that my contract will be extended for six months. My reaction was sort of "yes!" then "wait a minute". But I'll take it. If they are sure about the six months, it seems that they very well might find the funds to add a second six months. As it is, I'm good until the end of January 2013. I had a good talk with my boss yesterday, and I know he'll do what he can to keep me on. We talked about some future projects, and there's some new stuff in there that sounds really interesting to me.

Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket today.

Jab

The school requires kids to get a booster of the Tdap vaccine when they turn 11. I made the appointment, and since he was with his dad, I called yesterday morning to tell him I'd pick him up from school and take him to the appointment. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. :-(

As we drove over to the doctor's office, he wasn't nonchalant, but seemed OK with it. We've talked about how his grandparents had polio when they were young, and how a jab protects a person by giving a shout to their immune system. A dress rehearsal as it were.

He gets up on the exam table and starts to get worried. The very nice nurse tells him to squeeze my hands with his. Ouch! Strong kid, but that's fine. And then she says, "OK, all done!" And he says, "Really?"

I love that. The good shot-givers get in and get out and it's over before the kid knows it. He even got to pick a prize from the prize bin.

Mine! All mine I tell you

I had coffee with a former coworker last week. He's got this great combination of creative and business experience that I found really helpful in terms of the bracelet thing. Especially the sales and marketing stuff. My dad was a salesperson, and I joke that I'm still permanently scarred (or so I like to think) from being forced to go door to door as a 5 year old to sell, of all things, packets of garden seeds. I didn't get it, or didn't have it, or something. Anyway, sales has never been my thing, so I'm impressed when I talk to people who do it well (i.e. in a way that doesn't feel slick or manipulative).

When I told him I wanted to name my little enterprise Physaria, after the name of the plant I studied in school, he was nice about it, but kind of said, "Wha?" Hard to spell, doesn't mean anything to most people. Ouch. But it did get me thinking about what else I could call it. I don't want to be restricted to bracelets, but it does feel like the polymer clay is something that I want to continue to explore. ("explore" - Ha! That sounds so artsy.)

And somehow, I started worrying a little about getting a domain name in case I ever want to sell things online outside of Etsy. Dreaming big, I guess. So I thought about it, and thought some more. And didn't come up with anything. Then, it was like a name was delivered to me. I can't remember the process of getting it, it was like it just popped into my head. Sent by muse, special delivery. Thanks, muse!

The name I came up with is Stamped Clay Designs. I went to a site and purchased the name as a dot com, and it's mine. All mine! Easy as laying down some money for it. The site had all sorts of other services in terms of email and web hosting, but I'm very far away from that at this point, so will just keep those in mind for future reference.

The other thing this friend did for me was to help with packaging. We originally met because he worked as a sales rep for a paper company, and I worked for a company that made artsy rubber stamps and we printed a bunch of stuff. He was able to get me some samples of really nice cover stock that will make the button cards look very professional. I hadn't really thought about that end of it. I was more concerned with what to print on the cards.

I hope to make progress on both the button cards and photographing stuff. I've got bunches of buttons that I need to photograph. Chicken and egg, but there will be time to work on it this weekend.

I'm so exciting!

When Mr W was little, he'd say, "I'm so exciting!" when he meant "I'm so excited!". Well, I'm excited for sure because I got an email yesterday morning from my brother R in South Carolina. He asked if I'd be around for certain dates in August for them to come to CO to visit, as he found some really good airfare prices for the four of them.

I replied back immediately - yes!

For whatever reason, it's hard to get from there to Denver. Not sure why. The fare he found was a little more than half of what it usually is. A couple minutes later, he sends another email that he went ahead and bought the tickets. Yea!!

And just like that, I've got family coming out to visit in August. They want to go cabin camping for a few days, so we'll look into that. More pressing to me is how my little house will accommodate guests. My other brother and SIL might come too (haven't heard from them yet - fingers crossed that they can make those dates), so I might need to house six.

I was thinking about sleeping arrangements, and if I bunk on the floor in Mr W's room (which I don't mind in the least) I can give J and M my room, and R and L and the girls can be in the basement. I recently made a push to make it sort of a sitting room, so it's partway there. I need to think about how to best make them comfortable down there, but it's certainly doable.

I think the visit is a good excuse to finally push to get the deck built off the living room. I've been hemming and hawing over doing it, but it's time. We do a lot of hanging out for these visits, and it would be nice to have the extra space. I also just want it for me. Every year I've been here, I feel like I hide in my house in the summer because the yard is in full sun most of the day. I'm planning on having a deck with a pergola kind of roof and placed for shade cloth (and eventually grape vines). Morning coffee on the deck - ahhh.

In other news, I did chat with my banjo instructor about how I felt lost trying to keep up with the other players at the jam last week. Turns out she's teaching me a different style from what people out here play, which is more of a three finger style, and she's teaching me a two finger style. Ooohhh. So it turns out how I'm playing is complementary, but a little different than how they play. Well, that makes sense, and I feel better about it. She's going to come with me next week and showed me how to play a couple of the songs that B gave me that they play pretty frequently. I feel better about it.

Our fox

It was a good weekend. Due to schedule changes, I had Mr W two weekends in a row. His dad wanted to take a trip. My social schedule has been open enough *sigh* that it was no problem for me do this. As I understand it, I'll have the next two weekends kid-free. There was a time when that much solo kid duty made me a little crazy, but the kid is pretty low maintenance these days.

We saw The Lorax movie on Saturday and I liked it. I had read about rampant product placement, but I didn't see it. Funny how that works. I haven't been seized by the desire to buy anything out of the ordinary, but we'll see. The ending had both Mr W and I tearing up a bit. Awww.

Yesterday, I hauled him to a Percussion Ensemble concert at the university's performing arts center. Why they have these things at 2 pm on a Sunday I have no idea, but it worked for us and we went. It's kind of pricey, with adults at $12, but kids were $1 so it seems reasonable. A few years ago, the university bought the old high school, and added the performance hall and a couple of smaller theaters. It's so nice! The acoustics are such that when the faculty person came out to introduce each piece, his voice carried in this magical way, right up to our ears. They mostly played marimbas and vibraphones, with other accent sounds. Best of all, they let us come up on stage afterwards to look at the instruments and didn't mind if we banged on stuff a bit.

I did not know this, but the mallets are covered with yarn. I took a picture with my phone to document this crafty tie-in. I'm glad we made it to the concert. Mr W was pretty attentive, I think he at least grudgingly accepts that I like to do stuff to broaden our horizons.

Oh, but the fox. Our neighborhood has a fox, who slinks around and is wiley and fun to spot. S/he is pretty bold as well, and is regularly out during the day, running down the alleys and crossing streets. I was thinking how I have no qualms with our fox, as I don't have small animals that are outside. My neighbors keep chickens, but their coop is very secure. If I could just have that fox eat the last mouse that occasionally makes its presence known inside my house, that'd be great.

Anyway, this morning I was taking Sally out to do her business first thing, and saw the fox standing on the sidewalk in front of the neighbor's house. I don't know, it was probably 50' away. Sally sees the fox, and instead of going bananas and woofing all over the place, she gives a "hey, I see you" woof and goes and does her business. The fox, for its part, sits on the sidewalk. Just plants its furry behind on the concrete and watches us. I actually did laugh out loud at how comfortable the fox is with its habitat and its fellow canines.

Short list

I've never seen the movie, but I hear now and then about things that are on people's Bucket Lists. I'll say at the start that mine is incomplete, a work in progress. I used to think about it in terms of travel, but I think travel is only part of it. It's experiences that I could have without going far, too. Things I dare myself to do, or think I should try at least once. Skydiving isn't on the list.

Certainly traveling to Europe someday is on the list. I've pondered traveling by myself. At this point in my life, the desire to do it isn't stronger than the desire not to have to do it by myself. I spend enough time alone, I don't want to travel solo as well. So, Europe. Someday, with someone or a small group. I really want to see the castles, cathedrals and museums. 

But the thing that actually appeared in my mind recently as a BL item was going to a TED conference. From their website:

"Each year, the world's leading thinkers and doers gather for an event many describe as the highlight of their year. Attendees have called it "The ultimate brain spa" and "A 4-day journey into the future, in the company of those creating it."

This year's conference is going on now, and since their blog is in my feed, I've been seeing a steady stream of wonderfully inspiring talks. I'm not sure why it's so expensive, but the cost to go to a TED conference (they do a bunch of different types and themes) is somewhere between $2,000 and $7,500. Out of my range unless something happens, like me saving for a few years of it. Since they are tapped into technology, there are ways to view talks, and simulcasts and the like that cost much less money. But I'd like to have the experience someday of feeling the energy of being around so many creative people.

Someday.

In other news, Mr W and I are planning on seeing The Lorax this weekend. It's funny, I thought he might think it too childish for himself, but he wants to see it. I remember when I worked doing nature education programs back in Ohio, we'd read the book often. It's message is still relevant now. Maybe more so. It's interesting how things go in cycles. We as a society tackle a problem, things are better, and then we collectively sort of forget what got us the problem in the first place and we start doing it again. Anyway, I've heard good things about the movie, and am wondering if it will have any motivational benefits for reminding kids about the benefits of a cleaner environment. As opposed to the corporate greed thing... ahh, don't get me started.

That's my boy

My son, the wonderful Mr W, completed the church's middle school sexuality and relationships class last night. I'm really glad he went through it, and although it embarrasses him greatly to discuss the racier parts of what was covered, I feel secure knowing he was exposed to the ideas and the vocabulary. It's like a little investment in the health of his future relationships.

As part of the last session, parents were invited to join the kids (about 20 of them) for a round of trivia, parents vs. kids. There were several categories, and each category had a 100, a 200 and a 300 point question. I volunteered to answer a question, something on relationships. When I asked her to repeat the question, Mr W says, "Hey, be quiet, that's my mom". Several parents near me were heard to utter "Aww, that's sweet."

His turn to answer a question. He picks an anatomy question for 300. His question is something along the lines of "What is the name of the female sexual organ..." He immediately turns to consult with the girls (a gesture I am proud to see). He answers correctly with that word that can rhyme with "Dolores". I say, "That's my boy!"

The parents won, but not by much. It was a fun exercise and a chance for the parents to see the camaraderie among the kids as well.

In other kid news, the P.E. teacher is starting a track program for the kids after school once a week. That, along with the running club and the science club (I keep asking if they've gotten to blow things up, and have been thus far disappointed) means the kid is finally doing a couple of after school things and his brain won't deteriorate from only doing video games with his free time. Phew! I'm pretty jazzed about him running a couple of times a week, and need to curb my enthusiasm so I don't squash his.

Newbie

I went to my second old time music jam last night, and was disappointed and frustrated. Boo. And intimidated, I felt intimidated as well. This was all internal, no one made any comments or in any way discouraged me. I just didn't know how to keep up, besides strumming with the rhythm (which is really fast!)

Here's a random video I pulled from youtube of one of the tunes, where the player is going about as fast as they were going last night.




The tunes they play at the jam all sound about like this. There's two phrases that get repeated and I know (so they tell me) that one can either play the melody, like in the video, or one can do rhythm, which means just doing chord changes, and not the really quick stuff on the neck. My goal for the short term is to be able to play rhythm. It's an endurance thing as well, my hands got tired!

Bleh. I've been practicing what my teacher has been giving me, and doing well at that, but it's like I'm learning a different language that doesn't translate into keeping up with the playing at this jam. At my lesson this week, I'll be able to say, I want to play like the guy does above. I also got a list of songs to learn from friend B, who is an awesome (really impressive) fiddle player and dog park friend (who watched Sally when I was out of town last time), and who coordinates the jam. It's because of her and her boyfriend, an awesome banjo player, that I'm even going to the jams, as I would die of embarrassment if I didn't know anyone.

The banjo may look like a simple instrument, but there's lots of ways one can work either hand, and that's one of the things that is taking me time to learn. Different styles. And tunings. About three or four different tunings.

I know I need to do what I've been saying all along. Practice and I'll get better. Now that I know specifically what I want to learn, I'll learn it.

Different

So I signed up to usher at my church yesterday. I didn't know the person I was doing it with, but had seen her at services before. It feels a little weird writing this, but I'll share my two reactions to it all and my lesson learned.

I'll start by saying she, let's call her G, is a transvestite. The first time I saw her at a service, I caught myself staring for a few seconds. It was as though my brain was expecting to see one thing, and saw another. I felt ashamed of myself, especially at church, where it is very much our thing to accept all comers who want to worship there. As I write that, it wasn't that I felt that she shouldn't be there, it was that she looked different.

I started thinking about how it seems that society is being forced to deal with (meaning be less judgmental about) people who don't fit cleanly into our notions of what a male or a female should look like. And then I thought about how I have what feels like enough social anxiety, thank you very much, about meeting new people, and I'm pretty average in dress and looks; nothing out of the ordinary. OK, let's not call it anxiety, but I make an assumption that the way I look is "normal", and that keeps people from staring, but meeting new people and interacting in social situations sometimes takes an effort.

I mean, most of us want to get along, we want to fit in and have positive social interactions with other people. And yet, we all have an image of ourselves. When we look in the mirror, we think, "Yes, this is what I want to look like", or at least, "This is what I look like". And if it's not working, we change our hair or our clothes or lipstick or whatever, until it feels right.

It was my impression that G wasn't dressing to attract attention. She didn't hang her head in shame, but she wasn't flaunting herself either. It felt to me like she was looking for acceptance. When we were counting the money after the offering, I introduced myself and shook her hand. A man's hand, no doubt about it. I also thought this: Who would "choose" this? Who would choose to dress in a way that attracts so much attention, unless the person felt they were being true to his or herself? I couldn't see it any other way. She dresses that way because that's the way she sees herself.

I think society is moving closer toward accepting people who don't fit into the neat categories. It seems to me that kids are less concerned about our definitions of what looks normal, and I think that is a good thing.

All good

It's been a normal weekend around here, and it's been nice to be feeling better. Finally. I'm still having to blow my nose a few times a day, and have a little cough, but will gladly take those because I feel fine. Mr W picked up something this week, and has been snotty (in the literal sense) but said he's feeling better today.

We went to a hands-on science demo thing at the university yesterday, and that was fun. We probably would have stayed there longer if he had been feeling 100%, but saw and got to try lots of the demos. Magnets held in front of old TVs, sounds translated into light, liquids moving around, echoes, I had fun too.

Today I'm scheduled to usher at church. It's an easy way to volunteer: pass the basket, count the dough, hand out the bulletin. After that, I'm going to work on more clay stuff. I've been thinking about ways to package the buttons, three to a card. I'm meeting a former coworker friend who has worked in the printing business for coffee next week and will ask about options there. I think I could make a wire display rack and would like to see if one of the shops downtown (a sewing store, or the yarn shop are my first two ideas) would be interested in selling them.

And work is humming along. We received mosquitoes from Japan and they were preserved in alcohol. I extracted the DNA, and wasn't getting any results, when I decided to use less in each reaction instead of more. For some reason, that worked. Phew! Picture me relieved. It'd be a bummer to say, "sorry, I couldn't get any of these to work". Our thoughts are that the mosquitoes in CA, where we've been working with collaborators, might have hybridized with this species from Japan, perhaps brought into one of the CA ports in a shipping container. I love this stuff and am looking forward to sequencing a few individuals next week.

It feels really good not to be sick. Good to get the reminder now and again when nothing hurts or feels weird, that THAT is reason to be thankful.

Escape

The wonderful and awesome program Radiolab's most recent episode is called Escape. If you've not checked them out, I highly recommend subscribing to their free podcast and listening to it when you've got an hour where you'd otherwise be listening to the TV or radio. They do science in a way that is so appealing, I can't say enough good things.

Two of the stories were about a people that escape, and I'll leave that for another post. There was also a story about the Voyager spacecraft. You remember them, right? From the 70's? Well, they've been chugging along toward the outer edge of the solar system. Way, way out there. This link is NASA's site on the project.

They don't quite know what they're going to find as the spacecraft get to the boundary of the solar system.  And they'll start getting some answers relatively soon. I loved this story because these things were launched so very long ago, and have traveled so far. They also talked about the picture of Earth that Voyager took from 3.7 billion miles out, and it's a great dose of perspective. I found the picture, here it is. Earth is the "Pale Blue Dot" in the middle of the tannish stripe of light. That's us, in a small corner of the galaxy. You might have to clean off your screen; on mine the earth is about the size of piece of dust on the screen. :-)

It came around for me to that idea of being kind to people I meet, that that is the very basic application of thinking about the pale blue dot and of the other stories in the show, which touch upon the idea that people's backgrounds, which I don't get to know, shape who and what people are right now. Jumbly thoughts and bad grammar. But it's a reminder for me. 

Biology spy

Video streaming by Ustream

The Decorah Eagles are back! I read last week about the first egg being laid, and Mr W and I have been checking in on them frequently since then. I was looking on Sunday night when we watched the female lay the second egg. Very exciting.

The Raptor Resource Project's (who sponsors the camera) blog has a lot of good info on raptor biology.

The site that hosts the camera has a ton of advertising unless you want to pay for the service, so be prepared for that. I also turn off the streaming comments by clicking the tab that wants me to sign up to chat (and leaving it blank).

The opportunity to observe wild animals do their thing like this has been really interesting. This pair usually lays three eggs (seen in only about 4% of clutches) and successfully raised all three chicks last year. It got pretty crowded in the nest.

It feels right to mark the day

My sister, on the right in this photo, passed away four years ago yesterday. For some reason I had it in my head that today was the date, but it was yesterday. The ladies in the middle are our sisters in law, who are really and truly like sisters to me still. 

I was going through old pictures on my back up disk (how's that for 21st century perspective) and found this one. This was taken in 2005, the summer I filed for divorce and my siblings and their families came out and stayed at the house (where Mr W's dad lives now) for a few days. It's a big house and there was plenty of room for all. It was so good to see them, seeing this picture reminds me of how relieved I was that they came out. 

Kris was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer a year and a few months after this picture was taken. Early detection could very well have saved her life, but no one thought to look for cancer in an otherwise healthy 43 year old. One gift of this very sad affair is that my brothers and I now get checked regularly by getting our colonoscopies. So far so good. 

I think now about how I miss having her as a confidant and general sounding board. We would talk once a week or so. I still consider myself blessed with good friends and a loving and supportive family, but there is a hole there. One thing I've noticed is that I write in a journal more often than I used to. It's pretty mundane stuff, working things out. Seems a good system. 

2012 Mouse Wars

My house was built in 1905, or 1910, depending on whether you believe the neighbors or the paperwork. Either way, it's been here a while. It's got the feel of a house that was built for the grandma of a family that would have lived on the adjacent lot. When I bought it, it was a one bedroom house, and I had the back porch bumped out for Mr W's room. They made bedrooms small back in the day, and I can look on the floor of my bedroom and see that the front part of it used to be part of the front porch.

Anyway, it's a good solid little house and I've been very happy here. I've mentioned before that The Plan was to stay here for a year or two after my divorce, and then meet Mr. Right, move into another house, and live happily ever after. I try to say that without rolling my eyes, but here six years later, I laugh at myself for my presumption that I would know how my life would unfold.

Oh yes, the point of this post. So, about a year ago, I started seeing evidence of mice in my kitchen. Eww. They had quite the party and left quite a mess, but I snap-trapped them and was mouse-free until a couple of weeks ago. IMO, I don't see the point of live trapping mice to make them someone else's problem.

It's funny how there's an initial period of denial. Is that a mouse dropping? No, couldn't be. Well, the evidence is incontrovertible, so I went out yesterday and bought four more traps, for a total of six. I don't want to draw this out any longer than necessary. Last year I had a bag of dog food in the basement (oh, my naiveté), that in retrospect makes me wonder why they even bothered coming upstairs. Maybe they had to get a drink to wash it all down with. Anyway, there's no food stored in the basement, and the dog food is in a plastic tub that as far as I can tell has not been breached.

I set the traps last night and haven't caught anything yet.

Pity party - party of one - your table is ready

If you don't want to read about me complaining that I have not kicked this cold yet, I totally understand. Come back next time and I promise I'll write about something more interesting.

I cannot remember the last time I was laid out by a head cold. I left work early Tuesday and Wednesday, and am staying home today.  I mean, I just don't get sick like this. Until now, that is. I was already sort of a hand sanitizer zealot, so I'm not sure what more I can do. It's too bad because there are things at work that need to get done, but my boss is sympathetic.

Starting yesterday, I have been most comfortable just laying on the couch, listening to the radio. The cough medicine didn't really work, and upset my stomach, so I stopped taking it and it's been OK. I have a low-grade fever, which responds well to ibuprofen, and I'm letting this thing sort of run its course.

Sally the dog's been an attentive companion. She'll come check on me every half hour or so, and I tell her I'm OK and she can go lay down. I couldn't muster the energy to get to the dog park yesterday, but will have to get her there today or we'll both be annoyed. I can do it.

Eesh. It's funny how nothing else is quite as important as just sort of sitting here and being quiet. Hopefully taking it easy tonight will help me turn the corner. Blech.

Nonnews

I suppose it's an indication that thing are going fine that I am going to post about this breaking topic today.  I did get some cough medicine (she prescribed these little gel caps instead of the more sleep-inducing narcotic liquid, but I think they are working) and hopefully will kick this thing for good in the next few days. After that, I promise! I will try to remember what this feels like to better appreciate when I'm feeling good.

The first Screen-free Tuesday night was a little rocky, but overall a success. We had dinner, and went out to buy Mr W a new pair of shoes. Sadly he's crossed the threshold from boys shoes to mens (mens'?), where the prices jump quite a bit for basically the same shoe that is just a smidge bigger. It's funny what kid's tastes are for shoes. Mr W is not a kid that really cares what he's wearing, but he sure liked the running shoes with neon accents. Too bad those were $85, and were vetoed. Also interesting how different brands actually do fit differently. He tried on another brand next, and they just felt better on his feet.

With shoes in hand, we went home for a refresher in, I'm a little embarrassed to say, shoe tying. How is it possible, you ask, that a kid who just turned 11 does not know how to tie shoes? Well, it just worked out that way. Between slip on shoes, velcro and laces with those little plastic keepers on them that keep the lace tight, he did not know. But he got the hang of it pretty quickly.

When he was going to bed, I said something like, "Goodnight, shoe-tier". And he said, "Mom, don't praise me for that. You should have taught me how to tie my shoes years ago." Ouch. True, but he didn't want to know, either, so it's kind of a draw.

Screen-free Tuesdays

Oh, and a happy Valentine's Day to you as well.

(I still have a cough hanging on from the cold I picked up while traveling, and it's been a couple of weeks now that this thing is playing out. The last three nights I've had trouble staying asleep because I wake myself up coughing. Then I can't believe that I forgot to get some over the counter cough suppressant. Again. Dufus. Well, I'll start with that today and see if it helps. )

It's no secret to anyone who reads this blog that my kid loves his video games. On the one hand, when he shows me his elaborate strategy that he's set up in the game he's playing (and has played since Christmas), which is obviously the product of planning and gathering resources on his part, I think there is some redeeming value to video games. Then the part of me that wants a kid firmly planted in reality, and yes, engaged in his world, pipes up and calls out for the need for balance here.

Enter Screen-free Tuesdays. Well, Tuesday nights. The idea is for both of us to turn off the computers and DO something. As the weather warms up and Mr W is out of school, I want to go play music with the old timey music group that gets together on Tuesdays. I can't really justify keeping him out late on a school night, but I can if it's summer!

We don't necessarily have to do something together, but the default for both of us when we have downtime now is to pick up the laptop and see what's going on on the screen. I wanted to encourage both of us to do something else. Maybe even encourage the kid to pick up a new hobby perhaps.

I'm anti- anti-

As I sit here writing this on a Sunday morning, Sally's sleeping on my bed and Mr W is playing on his computer. I am still bothered by a tickle in my throat that kept waking me up last night, so I slept in an hour after Mr W was up. I marvel at how things have evolved so that my two charges can be very low maintenance at times. A lot of the time, really. I remember when both were younger and I felt like I was always doing something for one or the other. I suppose one can look at it as an investment that pays off eventually, allowing typing on a Sunday morning.

Well, it's that time of the year that those of us who are single and hoping to someday be in a good solid relationship (Prince Charming where are you?) are pummeled with messages about Valentine's Day. I admit freely that I will bounce around from eye-rolling to "aww, that's sweet" to "enough!" but in general I am anti- anti-.

As an aside, things that get the "aww, that's sweet!" response tend to be when couples that have been together for a long time do something cute. It's not when someone young makes a showy gesture. I guess that's where my head is.

There seem to be strong feelings about Valentines Day, and I don't think the anti-Valentine's Day stuff gets me anywhere. I've never been able to make myself believe (or act, really) that I didn't want to find a partner (and soul mate - is that too much to ask? Hope not). No matter how long it's been and how much I feel like I'm doing fine on my own, I still want it. I want to find the right guy to go through life with and I'm just not one of those people who feels like it's right for her to go it alone.

So the anti-Valentines' message that love sucks and we're all better of alone sounds goofy to me. I've noticed that there are several anti- events going on with the various Meetup groups I'm part of. I won't be attending. I suppose it's an excuse to get together, maybe even to commiserate. I also like the notion that the day can celebrate all kinds of love, although that kind of smacks of a merchandising effort, doesn't it? Tell your dog how much you care, buy her heart shaped treats! I heard about this piece, where they suggest people go out and celebrate the weekend after the holiday to beat the crowds, and get sale prices on Valentine's Day items. Smart.

Six degrees of Kenny Loggins

Mr W has his school's music program tonight. A few weeks ago they sent home a flyer telling the kids what they should wear. After not doing anything about it for all that time I asked him a couple of days ago what he was supposed to wear. Now, to be a stickler about it, I did ask this question when I got the flyer and was told "normal clothes". I asked again to be sure, and was told "something 80's", and the flyer said they would be covering the song Footloose.

Something 80's, huh? Now, I was there, I'm sure of it. Those were my high school and college years. In the middle to late parts of the decade, I was going through my retro thrift store phase, where I would buy old men's dress shirts and wear them fully buttoned with the collar cut off. Oh, and jazz flats. I even had a tail (the hair kind) for a time. As I think about it, I had several blouses with shoulder pads. However, I don't really remember how males dressed in the 80's . So I did some research, and if you think something along the lines of Duran Duran, that's what people are thinking.

Buying a yellow suit wasn't in the cards, so I bought him a bright green polo shirt at the thrift store, and he'll wear it with the collar up. That's 80's, right? It'll have to be for tonight, anyway. His hair is getting long, so maybe his dad can help him sweep it up on the sides with some hair gel.

Given all this 80's stuff, it's not surprising that the song Footloose has been going through my head the last couple of days. Remember how Kenny Loggins had a string of movie theme songs? Top Gun, Caddy Shack, Footloose. Anyway, we get to the thrift store and there's actually a Kenny Loggins song playing, although it wasn't Footloose and I can't remember what the song was at the moment. I pointed this out and Mr W was unimpressed. No context, I suppose.

We do one circuit around the back to see if maybe, just maybe there are some appropriate shoes for the kid to wear (no), and go past the LPs. Yes, the LPs. You know, those big black disks old people used to play music? They had a bunch of them. There at the front was a Loggins and Messina album. I don't know what the title was (wasn't much of a fan). I point this out to Mr W as well. Isn't that oddly coincidental? Two Kenny Loggins things in the thrift store while we're shopping for a Footloose-y shirt.

Sciencey (or even remotely logical) people would point out that I was tuned into things Loggins, not that there was anything supernatural about seeing this stuff. Fair enough.

Empathy

Wow, nothing like being on the tail end of a cold (man, I hope so!) to engender a little bit empathy for folks that deal with chronic conditions. I'm such a baby about being sick, I suppose because it doesn't happen very often (knock wood).

My minor ailments set up a little Occupy Linda movement at the front of my mind for a few days. I never felt bad enough to take to my bed, but always was thinking about the stuffiness/sore throat/junky cough.

I know there are people out there who have back pain or other chronic stuff that impacts their quality of life. I'm going to try to remember what it feels like to not feel 100% to ramp up my output of kindness. There's a quote I've seen on some people's email to the effect of "Everyone is engaging in some sort of battle. Be kind."

As the ex used to say, feels good not to feel so bad.

Mind tricks

As expected, there was a banquet held as part of the conference I went to. Funny how there is a huge range of outfits for these events. Plenty of suits and cocktail dresses, and then the rest of us. I just wore what I wore to speak that day (slacks and a jacket), and it was fine.

Something different they had (it was California, after all) was a magician who did 3 or 4 short acts during the course of the evening. He did card tricks and the expected stuff, but then he did a couple of tricks that weren't  sleight of hand at all. Instead they relied on reading people. It was really interesting.

He got a volunteer from the audience and asked her to think of her best friend from childhood. Then he asked her to think of the first letter of her name. He asked her to say "no" as he went through each letter of the alphabet. So it went: "Is it A?" "No" "Is it B?" "No" "Is it C?" "No" regardless of whether that was the right letter for the name or not.

He guesses the first two letters correctly, L and I. I'm thinking the name is Linda, so I tune in to hear what she says as he gets closer to N. L? No. M? No. N? No - but her voice went up when she said it. It was so goofy. He was tuned into it, so he easily guessed the rest of the letters.

I think it's a good thing that we aren't generally good liars. I find the details of life quite enough to keep track of without having to remember things that didn't happen or happened differently than my story says they did.

He did another one, and I can't remember the details, but it was another thing where a volunteer was asked to recall something, and he asked her each number or letter. This time, she held her palm out, and he pushed lightly on each of her fingers in turn while he asked and she answered. Something about the amount of resistance from each push on a finger gave him the information without his volunteer giving it directly. J from the dog park, who is up on things psychological, had a name for this and knew of the phenomenon.

It was pretty entertaining. Whether people who can read people like this use their powers for good or evil is another matter. I'm guessing that TV psychics use similar tricks to seem legitimate, while the client is giving them most of what they need to know. On the other hand, I've met a couple of people who I would call truly intuitive, and it does seem like a gift.

In other news, my cold is taking its sweet time to exit my system, stopping to visit lungs, head, throat, etc. This morning, I woke up with what I'm guessing is sinus pain - ouch. I can't recall having it before. I still have a junky cough, but my throat doesn't hurt. Mornings definitely are the hardest. I haven't felt much worse, just differently icky over the last few days, so I guess that means my system is fighting the good fight. I did go to Spin class yesterday, thinking I'd take it easy and leave if I started on a coughing jag. It was fine though, and it felt really good to do it again after being absent for a week. When this clears up, I will appreciate my symptom-free condition a little more!

Mr W turns 11

Still as sweet.

Just bigger now.

I was looking for a baby picture tonight to post here. We've got very few actual pictures, it's all digital for this kid. I was looking on an external hard drive that I've used for back ups, and spent the last 90 minutes reminiscing. Fun to see old pictures.

You already know this

When I was in Ohio over Christmas, my brother and I went over to my dad's house to look over some things he wasn't going to take with him when he moves to Florida in a few months. One thing was a box of flat wear that my mom used in the Oneida "Classic Shell" pattern above. At the time I felt just slightly burdened at having to take a 10 lb. box of silver wear with me on the plane when Mr W and I just packed carry-ons. My brother, who drove with his family, graciously said he'd take it and mail it to me. How cool is that? So nice.

And he did. A few days ago, I picked it up from the post office. There's a few other things in there, one of which I think is the silver cake server from my parent's wedding. Have to check the pictures and see if that's the case.

I had decided as soon as I agreed to take it that I would use the stuff. I honestly can't remember if it was my mom's good stuff or everyday stuff, but it's very shiny. I believe if she were here, she'd say, "Yes, for heaven's sake, use it. Don't put it away". The truth is, I don't eat formal dinners enough to change out the silver wear I use, so this is the best way to go.

And, you probably already knew this, but it reminds me of her whenever I use it. I'm pleased to have such pretty things to eat off of, and feel happy that I've got something that I use that she picked out because she liked the pattern so much. I'm glad my dad saved it, and glad I've got it.

Ugh

Well, perhaps because I was using my teacher voice to practice my talk, or maybe I picked up a bug somewhere, but I've picked up a sore throat and that general feeling puny feeling. But I'm on my way home, and sitting in the Sacramento airport writing this.

The conference was good, and I feel like I am on my way to making a contribution to this little taxonomic conundrum that is the group of mosquitoes I work with in California. Yesterday, I visited some of the study sites and talked with the PhD student whose project this is about what we want to get done in the next few months.

One of the places we visited is called the Heronry, as in a place where water birds nest. I and my clothes are grateful that they are away at the moment, so it wasn't a crapshoot (ha!) to walk under the nests. This is a site where the mosquitoes are different genetically, and it could be sort of a genetic congregating spot.

This is what the area functions as, in addition to a home for protected squawky bunches of birds. It's an apiary. Isn't that cool? A family lives here, and it's a woodlot island in the middle of a lot of farmland. I didn't get all the details, but the hives are transported to various fields so the honeybees can do their jobs as essential pollinators. The whole place was maybe a couple of acres, but they had at least a hundred hives around. The place buzzed, literally! But the bees left us alone, as I guessed they would.

We also visited a couple of the sites in downtown Sacramento and Old Sacramento. In this area of CA, Victorian architecture is the norm, not much Spanish influence in the places I visited. The sites were manholes and areas that led to underground drainage/sewage sources. Apparently the mosquito control folks are pretty good at what they do, because the populations get wiped out pretty regularly and reestablish because the habitat is still there.

All in all a good trip. Hopefully I'll be able to kick this sore throat without it getting any worse. Fingers crossed.

Today's Document

I can't remember where I first saw a link to this blog, but I've put it in my feed. It's from the National Archives, and it's called "Today's Document".

They post one thing a day and I have enjoyed the variety of items they've chosen to show.

My talk went well! I was very glad I brought a copy of it on a jump drive, as they did not have the version I had emailed last Friday. Phew! A couple of people have come up to me and offered to send me mosquitoes, and I'm excited to get some more coverage for the CA study.

And now, it's off to the banquet. I'm tired! But it's good to do this schmoozing. Tomorrow, we're off to Davis for the day to see some of the sites my specimens came from. Looking forward to a good night's rest tonight.

Cloudy California

 My plan was to go to the Flower Conservatory today, but alas they are closed on Mondays. So here is the outside of the building. *sigh*

I've been up since 4 am, so I'm fading fast, but wanted to post these. I waffled a bit, but pushed myself a little to go down to Golden Gate Park. I wish I had more time to do it, but I had a good time. It was a three leg trip each way: ride the shuttle from the hotel back to the airport, pick up a train from there to a bus stop and then transfer to a bus the rest of the way. Going over to the airport, I rode with a couple of ladies who were going down to the wharf (The Wharf?) downtown. I imagine if the security camera footage in the train station was ever reviewed, they'd get a good laugh out of the three of us trying to negotiate the ticket vending machines.

The bus didn't follow the same route coming back, so I thought I had missed my stop and had to ask a knowledgable high schooler whether this was the case. That would have been a bummer, but all was fine. It was a little exhausting, all that paying attention, but I'm glad I went. 

Since the Flower Conservatory was closed, I wandered around a bit. I only had about an hour, so didn't feel purchasing admission to the CA Academy of Sciences was justified. I did ask if they had a reciprocity agreement such that I could use my Denver science museum membership, but no dice. I went to the Japanese Tea Garden at Golden Gate Park and that was very nice. Despite being winter here, things were pretty darn green. There is some cool detail on the roof of this building. One of the ponds had several of the largest koi I've ever seen. Fat and happy. 

I had dinner with my collaborators, and we talked a bit about the work I'm doing as it relates to the research questions they have. So far so good. My talk is at 8:30 instead of 8, so that's good news. And now, I must go to bed. So tired! 

Twang twang

Tonight I had the pleasure of going to my banjo instructor's studio/house to jam with what turned out to be her and some of her friends (it was open to all of her adult students). At first we crammed into the smallish living room and made small talk and drank some wine, and then moved into the studio and played songs for a couple of hours.

It was a blast! We played several songs that I actually knew, so I could keep up, and then they, because they had acoustic guitars, branched off to Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, REM and Paul Simon. I sort of limped along and tried just to pick with my right hand to keep time for those, but I could see there will eventually be a point where someone can say "it's A, C, Em, D and G" and I'll be able to do that. As it was, I did not embarrass myself, which will be my goal for the short term. It was fun to kind of connect with these people through the music.

Yea! It's been so fun to learn the banjo and see how I'm slowly progressing over time. I had Mr W with me, and hoped he would see how much fun we were having and fingers crossed think he might want to try an instrument again. He accompanied us with a maraca, and plunked on her drum kit a little, so those were good things.

Fun indeed. Tomorrow, we'll head down to the Denver science museum to see their new IMAX film "Tornado Alley" and then I've got to drop off Mr W and Sally at their respective places for the next 4 days while I'm out of town M-Th. I've practiced my talk a couple of times, and I think it's just about there. A few more run-throughs and it will be ready to present.

The Sally diet

I took beloved doodle Sally to the vet yesterday because she's got ear gunk. She's got sort of heavy ears, so I do look for gunk occasionally, and this round seems to have developed pretty recently. When we got there, they of course weighed my dog.

70.8 lbs.

Excuse me? Can you do that again? I remember her weighing 80 ish, and at one time 85 lbs. The nice tech reweighs my cooperative non-wiggling dog. Yup. 70.8 lbs.

She's a large dog, but still this is a lot of weight to have taken off in the last year without me really paying attention. The vet wasn't concerned, because she's healthy and she was too heavy before anyway.

Our secret? A smaller scoop for her food. I don't remember what happened to the old scoop. Oh, wait, yes I do. It was an old pint-sized container from a deli and she chewed it up. Take that as you will.

I looked in my vast tupperware library and found something that I could fill to heaping and was the 1 1/4 cups she gets twice a day. And we've been using that ever since. She still gets plenty of treats, so I guess we're doing it right. It was just sort of weird that it was happening without my realizing it.

So now (she says, facetiously) I'm going to write a book on how if you buy my special set of plates and measuring spoons and cups, you'll be able to lose 15 % of your body weight in a year. ;-)

When someone you hardly know dies

I learned through FB that a cousin of mine, who I have not seen in decades, has passed away. In the way that families need to be truthful, but don't want to acknowledge stuff that's really no one else's business, I had heard that she was mentally ill for most of her adult life, and didn't live independently.

Such a tragedy.

The cousin who shared the information on FB had a really nice way of putting it: "God takes those like her directly to his side. She is finally at peace."

Her death reminds me that to some extent, it is a roll of the dice that makes it so we continue down our chosen path in life. That illness and accidents happen to people sometimes in a random way, and there is no guarantee.

I was thinking just yesterday how I have been skirting the edges of contentment again. I love when this happens, when things seem like they are humming along and I'm doing my job as a parent, being productive at work, doing some creative stuff. It's a good feeling indeed. I imagine it's a response, but I had a dream last night that Mr W was in his bed and said he kept hearing noises. I went to the back door (which he can't see when he's in bed), and someone grabbed me from behind. In reality, bestest barky watchdog Sally prevents this from happening, so I am not worried about that particular scenario. It was clearly (in my mind anyway) my primitive lizard brain saying something like, "you think you're feeling good right now? There are so many wonderfully scary things to worry about that could happen to you!" I sent her (my lizard brain is named Alexandria) out for coffee and she'll be back some time later.

Some handmade buttons

Here are the buttons I've made so far. I've divided them up for the shop by color and shape, so a person could buy the six round lavender ones as a set. I was online looking at polymer clay sites and found this, which has a lot of ideas for polymer clay in general. 

One of their most fantabulous ideas was to use a corn cob holder to poke button holes in the uncured clay. Brilliant! I was using a small drill bit, which works, but I have to place each hole separately and get a few off center ones that don't make the final cut.

I have found that I enjoy the process of making the buttons a lot. There's something almost meditative about going through the steps. And I'm a sucker for color, so I do enjoy mixing the colors as well. Last week, I had a little bit of time to kill before picking up Mr W, so I went to the craft store, and thought I'd just see if they had any accessories I couldn't live without. I know darn well that what they charge for a 2 oz. block of polymer clay is more expensive than I can find online. It's not like this store is local, so I don't mind looking for the good deal. 

As an aside, I was poked with a little guilt when I bought a book on Amazon to make it to the $25 threshold for free shipping on some craft supplies. I had planned to buy the book for a book club at a book store downtown, but it was the only thing I could think of that I actually sort of needed. 

Anyway, I make my way back to where they have the clay and, hey! it's half off. Blink. Blink. I select 25 blocks and make my purchase. I felt like I had this treasure; it was funny. I'm still working my way through a couple more purples so I can make pinky purpley all-clay bracelets, and then will get to dive into the new clay. 

I then need to come up with I think one more thing to get on the shop and then need to advertise somehow to get more people to the shop. Only so many hours in the day. I've been busy (still) at work, and for the last week and a half have been analyzing data and working on a PowerPoint presentation. I got a first draft done yesterday and sent it to my boss. I think it's close. I've not quite switched to "hey, I'm going out of town" mode yet. Sally gets to stay with my friend from the dog park, and I think she finds that preferable to being in the kennel. I would! I'm happy to give B the money I'd otherwise give the kennel, too.

My advice

I heard that an acquaintance of mine is getting divorced and that it's "getting kind of ugly". I see her pretty regularly, but don't know her well.

I started thinking about my situation, naturally. Divorce was (is) not common at all in my family or my circle of friends. I didn't have many people to talk to who had walked in my shoes, although my family was instrumental in helping me cope.

Because there was a child involved, I took what was going down very seriously. This couple does not have kids, but I think what I'm going to say still applies. I thought (and this continues) that it was very important to keep things civil for Mr W's sake. Because his dad, my ex, is part of my life for a while yet. I believe it's easier on the child when their divorced parents get along well enough that decisions are made in the best interest of the kid.

Hate is a difficult thing to carry around with you. I know some folks who still hold to so much hurt and hatred for their ex-spouses, that they have had trouble moving on. I'm not saying that one's feelings, however strong, shouldn't be processed and dealt with. But making decisions that deliberately hurt someone who has hurt us can escalate a situation. And it takes time to come back from that level of spite and anger.

That is my view anyway. I was terribly hurt that my life as I knew it was going to change. (OK, that's a bit of an understatement). But somehow I knew that if I sank to a place where I was dealing with my ex in a way to deliberately screw him over, that that would leave a residue on me that I'd have to work to wash off later. So I have tried to keep things civil, and as a result, get flexibility in the parenting schedule, and an ex that kicks in his share of the expenses.

I didn't come out of it unscathed; I'm still wary of getting the rug pulled out from under me again. But (and this is the important part, I think) I came out of stronger and more resilient, which I think is important because life doesn't stay the same for very long.

My two cents'.

We apologize for this unintentional exposure

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know I'm pretty sciencey. I also work for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Prevention is one of our things. So, not surprisingly, we get how vaccines work and support their use. In my mind, it's not a matter of belief. Every parent gets to make their own decision, but the facts are this: the more people who are unvaccinated, the more people are going to get sick from preventable (there's that word again) diseases. The cost of not vaccinating can be pricey, too, as this article shows. Health departments still have to contain and quarantine. Not a great use of public money, in my opinion.

Will your kid die from chicken pox? Not likely. And perhaps that is the thinking, why risk side effects (perceived or otherwise) of the vaccination when their child won't die of the disease?

This extremely narrow view of disease irks me.  The point of having a high rate of vaccination is so that babies, the elderly, and people with compromised immune systems, people who either can't have the vaccination or for whom it is not as effective, are protected because they aren't exposed. It's called Herd Immunity.

Anyway, Mr W has been vaccinated with the full battery of recommended immunizations. He's going to this weekly program at my church and a couple of days ago, I got an email with this post's title in it. A kid in the group exposed everyone to chicken pox at the meeting this week. That's how it works. If the parent had seen spots on their (I'm guessing unvaccinated) kid, they would have kept him or her home (or I hope so, anyway). But kids are contagious a day or two before they get the spots. That's how it works.

I'm not worried that Mr W will get it. I'm not worried that I'll get it. However, I had to write to Mr W's dad and tell him to keep Mr W away from his grandma (ex's mom) who is elderly and should not risk exposure. It annoys me that I have to make accommodations like that when on the other end, if the kid was unvaccinated, that family didn't make accommodations for the rest of us. It's part of living in a society.

Hitting the wall

I have a small house. It's basically my bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, Mr W's tiny room, and a largish living room that is probably 12 x 25. It's a good space, but I have been slowly filling it with crafting stuff and things that need to be sorted and put away. I don't qualify for a spot on Hoarders yet, but I'm not happy with the current arrangement.

I've hit an organizational wall and am looking forward to doing something about it tomorrow. My banjo teacher (who sadly is having her senior citizen dog put down today) said she'd take a bookcase off my hands that I got at a garage sale and is too big for the space. If I can wrangle someone to help me, I also have a love seat that I want to donate to the thrift store and get it the heck off my front porch. It's an enclosed front porch, so no one can see it (thankfully). I wanted to put it down the basement, but we couldn't get it through the door. I guess a hundred years ago when people built cellars that later turned into basements, they weren't thinking about accommodating upholstered furniture.

From where I sit, the fact that I've had a love seat on my porch for a year, intending to do something with it, is the epitome of living by myself. No one really cares if it's there except for me, and I must not be too concerned, or it'd be gone by now. Ditto with the vacuum cleaner that's been in the living room for 2 weeks, waiting for me to use it.

Anyway, I've been using the table we eat at to do all the bracelet stuff except gluing, which I do in the basement. There's usually something crafty on it all the time now, and that irks me a bit. I've got a corner desk on the other side of the room that has no lighting (easily remedied) and holds a plant and the wireless router. The plan is to move operations over to that side of the room and have it so I can leave out work in progress, but also have enough bins or drawers or something to put it the heck away if need be.

I'll take pictures of the after.

It's has been a warm and dry January here in Colorado. I need to get the van sold, still. I'm waiting on any home improvements until I do that, so need to get it in gear. Not surprisingly, I've softened a bit on the price, but need to get it advertised and outta here.

I vow this is the year (I've done this for the last 4 years or so) that I put in the deck off the living room. I may or may not do anything with the kitchen, but the other day when I was cooking and, as usual, had about a 1.5 square feet of counter space to work, I thought, there has got to be a better way. After living here this long now, and seeing Mama Pea's remodel, I think replacing the door between my kitchen and bathroom with a pocket door could get me some needed space.

Something about after Christmas that prompts me to plan.

Because it's January 19th

I feel better already.

Communication

Before I start my little rant, I wanted to mention that yesterday was my sister's birthday. She would have been 49. It will be four years next month that she's been gone. I exchanged a couple of emails with a family friend who mentioned that Kris's passing fell on the same date their dad died. February 22nd. I remember because I was 15, and the friends in that family were around the same age. For some reason, I didn't know or didn't realize the events were on the same date. Anyway, she is dearly missed, and would be so proud of her boys (now just about men).

On to my rant.

I had some medical stuff to attend to a few months ago. Nothing serious, but needed a follow up appointment six months down the road, and that happened last week. The results of that have me making another appointment, but then I should be all done but for a few follow ups.

I get home from work last Friday and, as I usually do, put my work bag down, and am ready to get the dog and go immediately to the dog park. There's a message on my machine, which I press the button to listen to. It's the nurse with the results of the follow-up appointment. She says something like, "I just tried your cell, and can't get you with this number. I don't want to leave a message, but it's not bad, at all. I'll be here for another 15 minutes, or you can call Monday."

Wha?

So I look at my cell phone, which was silenced in my purse, and she had called about five minutes prior. I just missed both calls. It's about 4:15. I call the office and.... "Our hours are 8-4 on Fridays". She was probably there, but I couldn't reach her.

I'm getting peeved just writing this again. Everything was fine, and in retrospect, because her news was so not-shocking, she must not have seen what she did as any big deal. I, on the other hand, was pushed into that panicky state where clear judgement was not close at hand. I talked myself down off that ledge, and had a pretty normal weekend, although I kept remembering that I didn't know what the results were.

I know I've stated that medical people can leave messages at either of those numbers, I just don't remember if it was that doctor. But I have trouble comprehending how the nursing staff can be so out of touch as to leave people hanging over the weekend. Don't call me after hours! Just call me Monday.

Anyway, I call yesterday, and a different nurse calls me back. She tells me what the doctor wanted to do, which does not make sense to me, and I had the logical question of "why would she want to do that?" She is unable to answer, so I press her a little and ask her to get back to me with the answers. She says I need to make an appointment, and had the appointment people NOT let me make that appointment, I would have not known everything I needed to know. The appointment person said, "No, the nurse has to make that kind of appointment for you". So I call back again, leave a message, and then she calls me back, again, and tells me what's actually going to happen, which is kind of what I was expecting, and fine and all that.

She does tell me a bit about the post-procedure stuff I'll need to do, but does not offer anything on the other end, so I ask: "Is there anything I need to do to prepare?" And she, I wish I was able to record the conversation, says, "No." And then she says something like, "Oh, besides taking Ibuprofen before hand" as though I'd somehow know to do this. I ask, "How much?" and she tells me.

So many things about this process are not as they should have been handled. The doctor is not some yokel in some tiny outpost. This is a large established practice, and I can't believe the person was following their protocol on informing patients and following up with results. I'm going to write an actual letter, I believe, now that I've gotten some of what happened out in this post.

It does point out, though, how complex the exchange of information is. But not so complex that they couldn't get it right the first time here. I'm thankful I don't have anything serious, or else I'd be scared that I wasn't getting all the correct information.

Who's got the button?

There is a story that Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat Pray Love fame) tells in a TED talk that I've mentioned here before. It's about the singer Tom Waits, who once was in traffic and got an idea for a song. He didn't have paper and pencil, and was quite busy driving. He cried out in frustration something like, "Can't you see I'm driving?" The idea being that sometimes creativity seems to come and get a person, as opposed to being something that one just sort of pulls the lid off of and has.

I'd like to think of myself as a sometimes creative person. I get ideas that seem neat to follow up on. I was surfing around Etsy and looking at the things people do with polymer clay. In a great example of how there are very few original ideas, I saw some buttons on the site and thought that my stamped clay medallions might make good buttons.

Here are a few of my first efforts. I think I will offer these in sets of 6.

In other news, Mr W and I watched Howl's Moving Castle last night on Netflix. I don't know what it is about some of the anime stuff out there, but I loved this movie. I had seen it before, but it was great to see it again. I dropped the DVD part of my Netflix subscription a few months ago, and since then have not had much luck finding the things I specifically want to watch offered as streaming video. But this movie was offered in that format.

I'm funny with movies. It's hard for me to commit two hours to what part of my mind sees as "just sitting around". I feel like I should be "doing" something. I suppose I could knit, or work on some bracelet stuff that doesn't require a lot of mental effort, but for whatever reason, I don't like to double up like that. So, I don't watch many movies on my own, and that's OK.

We've got two engagements today that involve restaurants. We're going to lunch with friends from the dog park, and celebrating M's retirement. Then, just a few hours later, the single parent group is getting together for an early dinner at a restaurant down the street from the first. In between, I'd like to pop over to work to see if some of my DNA sequencing results have been uploaded so I can see them.

I've pushed myself to get these results in order to have something to present to our collaborators, and I'm really hoping that they show something interesting. This process has been kind of exhilarating, and I've enjoyed work for the past few weeks, going through this process of finding differences that help solve a taxonomic puzzle.

Way too early for that

At work, my boss and I have just about put the final touches on a manuscript that I have been working on for a while. One of the measures of progress in the job is to publish in peer-reviewed journals, so the more good papers that our lab puts out, the better.

This one will be a good one, it just took too long. I'm ready to send it off for review.

When we were done talking about the paper, I showed him some results of something else that I had been working on. Another kind of DNA marker called SNPs (people usually call  them "snips") which stands for Single Nucleotide Polymorphisms. SNPs are used a lot in human genetics work, and one of the results of the Human Genome Project has been to associated groups of SNPs with a higher likelihood of something, like a disease.

If I find SNPs in coding regions of DNA, that is, within genes themselves, as opposed to the extensive amount of DNA in organisms' genomes that doesn't code for anything then those are differences that might help us with our efforts to tell groups of mosquitoes apart taxonomically, AND (which would be a really cool thing) in our efforts to characterize differences in these critters' ability to carry and transmit disease.

I think that's the longest sentence I've ever written.

I'm excited about this. There are labs where there are teams of people working on the same thing, but there's lots of genes out there, so I'm optimistic that we can make a contribution in this area of research. I have been able to find differences between two of the species we work with, which are closely related, so it's so far, so good.

After we got done with that, I asked H if he had heard anything about the budget for next year. He said he hadn't, but that it was going to be another fight. For a while, I started to feel the familiar anxiety about losing my job that I had for a good part of the spring and summer last year. And you know what? It's way too early for that nonsense. Not only do I have almost seven months yet on my contract, after seeing how it played out last year, I know they'll do all they can to keep me on, and that (more importantly) I'll be OK. So I let myself off that hook.

Growing up

I was telling someone the other day how my kid at 10 still has this sweetness about him that I love dearly. His vocabulary and wit make him seem older than he is sometimes, but that sweetness pegs him as a 10-almost-11 year old. This person lamented that by 12, that sweetness can take a holiday for nearly a decade. Darn.

He is growing up, right before my eyes. It's not a bad thing. We were talking the other day about what he would do the summer before he started middle school, which will be 2013. He'll be 12, and so all of the day care things we did since he was a wee tot aren't available anymore. He asked what he'd do with that summer time. I said that I figured he'd be in some kind of structured program for part of the time, would volunteer somewhere for part of the time, and would be able to hang out at home (gulp!) alone for part of the time. My next thought was, "I am thankful that cell phones are so ubiquitous these days".

Along with his maturing mind of course is the onset of puberty. I've seen those subtle changes and it's only a matter of time before the hormones start to course through the kid's veins. It's a weird time for kids. I remember feeling somewhat ashamed of the changes that were happening in my body because my mom never talked about it. She said later that she figured if I had questions, that I'd ask. For some reason I didn't feel comfortable asking. Or, more likely, I didn't know what questions to ask. I don't know. My recollection of the time was that I wished I had more information.

I want my son to have some facts and be able to talk to his peers and responsible adults (besides his dad and myself) about all this stuff. The church I go to has a program for almost-middle schoolers on sexuality that starts this week, and I've signed him up for it. Two of his good friends are in it as well, which is a good thing. They cover body and mind issues. Respect. Tolerance. I like knowing that they'll cover all the things that are important to me for him to know, and then he'll more informed.

When I lived in Ohio, I did a very short stint as a substitute teacher, and one morning was in a 7th grade classroom. A girl came up to me and said, "Want to see a picture of my baby?" I stammered and stumbled, but did say, "You need to stay in school!" It is my hope that getting information to my kid about sexuality and relationships will encouraged more informed choices. Ones that take into account possible consequences. Knowledge is power, right?

The kidless stretch

I dropped off Mr W's new computer and some school work to his dad's house last night and realized with a sigh that I kind of liked having the kid around as much as he was during the holidays. We've got a nice little routine here. I think he appreciates that it's just me, him and the dog, so things are pretty peaceful. It's his dad's weekend to have him and he'll be with him for the next few days.

Not that his dad doesn't take good care of him. Financially, and time-wise, his dad has always stepped up and done his duty as a father. I'm thankful for that, and don't worry that my kid will be mistreated. He likely won't see fresh vegetables at his dad's house, but one has to pick one's battles. I hear stories, good gravy, I hear stories of the extent to which parents shirk their duty (yes, I'm using the word deliberately) to their kids, and I shudder.

So, I miss Mr W, but a kid needs a dad. I had a dream last night that his dad showed back up and wanted to move into my little house. And I was sort of scratching my head saying, "Didn't you just get married? And anyhow, I don't want you!" Even for the kid's sake. Funny.

I do get a twinge of envy when I see him settled into his new life with his nice wife and plowing money into remodeling their house. But I don't begrudge them their happiness. I would like my own, thanks. And I'm fairly confident that I'll someday look back and see how it all led to being with the guy I end up being with.

In other news, I went to my first old time music jam with my banjo. They are at this place that is so very Colorado in what it offers: it's a bike repair shop, coffee shop and bar all in one. I had Mr W that night, and he didn't have school the next day, so was happy to play on is video game thingy. I got him a hot chocolate, and tried to not embarrass myself.

I've got a really long way to go on this banjo thing, but it was a good experience to sit with these folks and just try to keep time. They tell me that eventually I'll be able just do simple chord changes (C, D, G) and keep up. I sat next to E, who is a really good player, and watched his hands a lot. There were three banjos, three guitars, three fiddles and one mandolin. I heard that's on the small side of what they sometimes get.

Anyway, I am more motivated now to keep at it and get better. I enjoy the songs themselves, which all do kind of sound similar, but you can see civil war-era ladies in big dresses dancing to them. Or two little girls with pink cowboy boots, as was the case Tuesday.