Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Independent of the original connection

I was emailing back and forth today with the x about Mr W's schedule and he mentioned that his mother is in the hospital. When I was married, I was very close to my mother-in-law. As MIL's go, she was tops. Very hands-off, but at the same time very supportive. She had polio when she was 16, so she spent most of her adult life getting around on crutches, and has gradually lost mobility over the years. She's in a power wheelchair, and this latest hospital stay involves her shoulder. If she can't get it back to the point where it will support her when she transfers in and out of the chair, she'll have to move from her independent living facility to a nursing home that can provide more care. A rather large concession.

After I was divorced, I didn't contact her much, and she, I guess, felt like the first move should be mine, so I've not really interacted much with her for the last few years. She's in town, and I'm happy that Mr W gets to see her on a regular basis. I of course have thought, "oh, I should call her and stop by" but I never seem to get there.

I don't have any reason anymore, if I ever did. It felt awkward, when I was first single, to think about including her in my life. But now, I can more easily remember that she and I have a relationship that stands on its own. I feel weird for waiting so long, but it's time.

So I think I'll stop by the hospital and see her tomorrow. There are still some nice flowers in my garden and I think she'd appreciate a little bouquet.


  1. It went great. She was at this rehab place where they will both help her do the transfers in and out of the wheelchair and start her on physical therapy.

    It wasn't quite like it was where we left off, but almost. I think there is definitely something there to build on and that made me feel better.

    We talked about Mr W a lot, what was going on in our respective families and didn't talk about my x at all. It doesn't have to be that way, but I suspect we'll have to talk about the divorce in some way at some time. I don't mean that I want to rehash anything, but maybe talk about how I was before and how I am now? It's a little like the elephant in the room.

    I'm very glad I went, especially in light of missing my sister. I want to hold onto and cultivate those sorts of relationships.

    Thanks for asking. :-)


Hi, sorry to make the humans do an extra step.