A month ago, I entered back into the fray of online dating, and I am stepping right back out as of today. Made a new friend, but didn't connect with anyone romantically. It's so aggravating, because there are certain benefits, but really big drawbacks as well to this whole thing (for me anyway).
I searched all the way down to Denver. Jeez, with 100 potential matches that met my criteria, you'd think (hell, I thought, anyway) that there would be someone to start a conversation with.
Wrong. My introductory email was either ignored (which still pisses me off) or politely returned saying the person wasn't interested, but thanks anyway. I totally respect the latter reply, by the way, and did the same to each and every guy (even if he was creepy) that sent me an email who I wasn't interested in.
It helped me a lot to remember that this does not represent the entire pool of potential suitors, but still. I'm not very good at moderating my activity on the dating site, and tend to check it way too often during the day, hoping someone has noticed me. And this, I believe, is a waste of my time and mental energy.
I was thinking today about the lengths I went to in order to maintain the long-distance relationship I was in for 2.5 years, and also how occupied I've been with the online crap (oops, I mean stuff) trying to find someone to partner up with. It was a bit of a forehead-smacking moment when I realized how hard I've been willing to try to find a partner, and previously to maintain a relationship, and these things have gotten me nothing, except a little wiser. Have I tried too hard? How exactly does one go about just "letting things happen"?
This is a lesson I'm still learning, and one thing I will do is to refocus on being involved in the community and doing a good job with the stuff I've committed to do. I have good friends, a nice house where there's plenty for me to do, a kid who needs raising, etc. Wishin' don't make it so. I don't believe much on faith, but I do know that I'll eventually find a wonderful man to share my life with. I just hope I'm not 65 when it happens.
I feel your pain 100%! I jumped back out of the pool a month or so ago. Too much work. Too draining. Not the way I want to live my life. I've met SO SO many wonderful older women that never found the perfect #2 that I'm beginning to think I may be one of them. I'm working on being OK with that and focusing on friends and the 'stead.
ReplyDeleteI found #2 thru some friends, but I'd known him forever, just didn't think this single guy would be interested in a divorced mom of 3. I think now, he often thinks he should have had his head examined! I wasn't alone too long.. and I love him dearly... but if alone again now, looking not far toward 50, through my bifocal glasses...I just don't know if I'd have the energy to do it again. I guess I'd just go hang out, doing what I like to do, what I can afford to do, not trying too hard to impress anyone with what I'm not. OK, so I'd probably need to change out of the flannel that has become the home loungewear of choice, but ...I'm OK with me. Maybe alone i'd be better...or worse..
ReplyDeleteHopefully doing what I like to do will being me into contact with that special guy. It's still hard to wait.
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