I was in a long distance relationship for 2.5 years, which ended last fall. I traveled every 5-6 weeks or so to see him (he traveled for a living, so I willingly did the bulk of the relationship traveling), and would often work on my kid-free weekends to bank time for visits. I knew it at the time, but one effect of doing that routine is that I sort of put my relationships here in town on hold.
We all know it's hard to make friends. I think about my kid, who I've dropped off a couple of times at all day day-care when he's out of school and I have to work, and he doesn't know anyone except for maybe one of the teachers. Thankfully he usually knows someone, but any kid in day care ends up getting lots of experience making new friends.
Luckily for us adults, we can get online and find groups that have been formed specifically for the purpose of meeting people and doing social things. Meetup has lots of local groups, and I joined the Over 40 Social Club, the Card and Board Game group and the largest group, which is the Sport and Social Club. I'm excited about this. It's nice to have events already happening that I can choose to join or not, and it's always good practice to do this kind of thing, even if it makes me tired afterwards!
I sometimes feel a little insulated from social stuff, and don't quite know where to start. I've made one new platonic friend via Match.com, so that's a good start. In a sense, I feel like I'm doing things regarding making friends and just dating that I should have done in my 20's. I thought back the other day to how I married my first boyfriend. I look back and I can't believe I was so shy and retiring that I didn't manage to date some before I got married. Well, life has given me the opportunity to do that now, like it or not! And so I will comply.
Linda:
ReplyDeleteWhile visiting John & Mary last August Dallas Crow spoke to me about meetup and it sounded like a good idea. I started to join a few groups while still in Texas but didn't have time to attend anything. I like the idea though of socializing with like-minded folks. If something romantic comes of it, fine. If not, certainly there exists the opportunity to make a some nice friends. My eHarmony time will officially come to an end on 3/27 and I won't renew. I think it's time to meet someone the old fashioned way, such as running into them in the produce department. Chat soon and hope all is well with you. Thanks for your candor and insight, Linda.
All the best. Suzanne
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteIt can be a difficult thing, this meeting new people stuff. I'm getting lots of emails from the Meetup groups, and it at least makes me feel like I'm doing something. And YES, running into some cute guy in the produce department remains a fantasy of mine as well - maybe I'll go to Whole Foods tonight... ;-)
Linda, just a few months after moving to TX I actually met someone in the produce dept at Central Market in Fort Worth. He noticed my grocery bag from Byerly's and mentioned he was from Minneapolis. GET THIS, I WAS SHY! He was kinda dreamy, too; a tall, handsome caucasion man with a deep, Barry White voice... I didn't respond in a way to invite further conversation because that voice had me too flustered. This, despite the fact he 'accidentally' ran into me 3 more times in the store. Lightning has not struck twice in the produce dept, girlfriend! If you happen to run into someone from Cleveland TALK TO HIM!!!
ReplyDeleteSuzanne, that is an awesome (if a little heartbreaking) story! I've vowed to be ready for it if I'm lucky enough to have such an encounter, and am going back to the bike shop to buy a light for my bike this weekend (in partial hopes to see the very cute guy that worked on my bike a couple of weeks ago).
ReplyDeleteLinda, I don't consider the story heartbreaking at all. To me it goes under the heading of 'one never knows'. Still... that voice! :-)
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