Last week I had a dream where I was getting ready to graduate (from something). I walked from the holding area towards where the ceremony was going to be and saw my dad and his SO (significant other - I'm not a fan of "girlfriend" for senior citizens), signing in for something. When I got there, it was my mom and dad, and I was overcome by seeing them there together. My mom died in 1993, btw. I was crying with joy in the dream and that was enough to wake me up.
This kind of thing makes me think about where I've been, and where I'm going, and usually indicates that things have calmed down a bit and I'm wondering if I should be "doing something" (here's my pendulum analogy post). Is it time to take up guitar lessons? Learn Portuguese? Finish painting the trim on my house? Yes on that last one.
Anyway, this reflection stuff made me remember that at the end of the month, I will have been in my house for 5 years. This may not sound like a long time, but it's the longest I've lived anywhere since moving out of my parents house in 1984. What does it mean? I don't know. The first couple of years after the divorce were rather tumultuous and it seemed to take me a while to learn how to be single again. And a part time single parent.
Shortly before I ended the long distance relationship I was in for a couple of years, I joked with my friend D that the relationship was beneficial because it taught me to be on my own. She pointed out how absolutely ridiculous that is, and I think that was the thing that gave me the final push to end things.
So at the moment, I'm pleased with being in my 105 year old bungalow, in a cool old part of town. Pleased as heck with B and am excited and optimistic to see where that goes. Thankful for the healthy kid, sweet dog, good job, and good health. The usual stuff that gets checked off for these things.
I came across this book "The Four Agreements" by Ruiz the other day. I haven't read the book itself, but here are its four ideas:
1. Do your best.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Be impeccable with your word.
I've been working on #'s 2 and 3 of late, and it does get me out of overreacting to things.
Check it: https://www.ticketturtle.com/index.php?show=17065 I have tickets for J and me. Want to join us? We're in row H seats 121 (over on the right).
ReplyDeleteLinda - the four agreements are so simple and so profound - thank you for your candor, wisdom, and willingness to share.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne - it's such an ever-going-on process, isn't it? Thanks for you kind words.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your reflections! I've been quite reflective lately myself (hmmm...wonder why...) but your post made me realize that I should write some of my thoughts down and share about that part of my life as well.
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