What's on your To Do list? When I was in school I was big into keeping a list of the things I needed to attend to. I suppose if I were trying to juggle school, work and family now, I'd probably have some sort of electronic assistance to keep things straight. I do have a calendar, with my schedule, CB's travel dates, and when I am slated to watch Mr W. Otherwise, it's occasional notes to myself and the rest is in my head.
I have a kid free weekend coming up. Mr W's dad and I switch off weekends, and so far the schedule suits everyone. I imagine as he gets older, Mr W will have more of an opinion and we'll try to accommodate him. I used to get kind of squirrely (the word I've always used to describe it) when the kid would be with his dad. I felt unanchored, and when left to my own devices too long I tended to start to worry about all sorts of things that didn't need worrying about.
There is certainly no shortage of things to do around the house. I'm starting to reclaim my basement, which over the span of time I've lived here (3.5 years) has served as the "hmmm, don't know what to do with that, let's put it in the basement" place. About half of it needs to be put away neatly and the other half is going to Goodwill. I hope to turn the space back into guest space and a little sitting area. And of course there is the usual housework stuff I try to avoid.
What else is on my list of things To Do? There are those things that I'd rather do than the list of chores and maintenance/improvement stuff. I'd like to stroll downtown and go people watching. I'm knitting a pair of socks and one part has been a real challenge. Gotta exercise the dog - that's good for both of us.
Back when CB and I started dating, I burned through all of my vacation really quickly and had to work practically every weekend that I wasn't watching Mr W to generate enough time off for visits. Looking back, it was hard! The same amount of time off each month, just allocated differently. Now, I try to look ahead a bit and work just one of the weekend days. I also work a lot of the holidays, and have used my vacation time more wisely. Things feel more balanced.
So, I have Saturday off! I will meet up with friend D to work on knitting and drink wine and chit chat. I'll work Sunday, and try to get my housework done at some point. I'll work on my knitting, pay attention to the dog and work in the basement. It's hard to do it sometimes, but when I'm being objective, I feel like all the things on my list are important.
Now, where were those socks I was working on?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Project Notes
To say that I've embraced knitting is not an understatement. I usually have several projects going at once, and happily bounce from thing to thing depending on what I feel like working on. At this point, it's part of my day, and I feel like something's missing if I don't do a bit of knitting.
I also started a pair of socks using a new method. I had lots of information on techniques, but not a specific pattern, so it has taken me a lot longer than I thought it would, with lots of ripping back and re-doing. Ultimately, I think this way will be faster and make a nicer sock, but it's frustrating as hell at the moment.
With those two stalled projects in mind, I started on a scarf called Clapotis (picture from here). Safe, predictable, useful. It had a new technique in it, where one drops a stitch at a particular point to create a really cool ladder effect. But it too has been an exercise in patience, as one has to knit a lot before getting to the good stuff. I was close to putting it aside when I got to do the first ladder, and now I'm hooked.
As to why this enthusiasm has developed, I'm pretty sure that being in a long distance relationship has something to do with it. There are long stretches of solo time, and it helps to have something to do that makes me feel like I'm living well, as opposed to just waiting for the next visit.
In terms of projects, I find it's good to have one or two that are mindless knitting that I can just do wherever. Then I like to work on something that forces me to learn something new. This may not seem the case to people who don't knit, but there are a lot of places to go once one has learned the basics. I think it's safe to say that knitters who consider themselves "experienced" have probably been doing it in earnest for at least 5-10 years. At least.
Keeping the "learning something new" think in mind, friend D and I decided to each start knitting the same sweater pattern. Long story short, we both stopped working on it, for different reasons. Speaking for myself, I'm just not there yet. It was not enjoyable at all. So I'm going to make Acer. (picture from that link).
In terms of projects, I find it's good to have one or two that are mindless knitting that I can just do wherever. Then I like to work on something that forces me to learn something new. This may not seem the case to people who don't knit, but there are a lot of places to go once one has learned the basics. I think it's safe to say that knitters who consider themselves "experienced" have probably been doing it in earnest for at least 5-10 years. At least.
Keeping the "learning something new" think in mind, friend D and I decided to each start knitting the same sweater pattern. Long story short, we both stopped working on it, for different reasons. Speaking for myself, I'm just not there yet. It was not enjoyable at all. So I'm going to make Acer. (picture from that link).
I also started a pair of socks using a new method. I had lots of information on techniques, but not a specific pattern, so it has taken me a lot longer than I thought it would, with lots of ripping back and re-doing. Ultimately, I think this way will be faster and make a nicer sock, but it's frustrating as hell at the moment.
With those two stalled projects in mind, I started on a scarf called Clapotis (picture from here). Safe, predictable, useful. It had a new technique in it, where one drops a stitch at a particular point to create a really cool ladder effect. But it too has been an exercise in patience, as one has to knit a lot before getting to the good stuff. I was close to putting it aside when I got to do the first ladder, and now I'm hooked.
Then, there's baby stuff. I'd like to whip out a couple of gifts before the babies in question go off to college, so I need to get crackin'. The simple fact is that there will always, ALWAYS be more cool patterns out there than I can knit, so I need to choose wisely.
It's funny how this thing, a hobby, can go from something that is chosen to fill time, to something that engages me so much, to something that got added to the list of things that helps me define myself.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter
For some reason, I've been thinking about Easter this year. Not so much the "Christ has risen from the dead" aspect of it, but more so the rituals my family observed when I was growing up. Maybe it's because I have not marked it in any way? I also have had a hankering for a ham sandwich, which tells me I miss the ritual vs. the message.
But it also strikes me that the way I celebrate holidays has changed since the divorce. I don't put a lot of effort into the big holiday extravaganza because it's just me and Mr W, and half the time he's at his dad's house.
Growing up, my mom would hide our Easter baskets around the house and I'm still impressed at how she found good hiding places for years. We always used the Paas dye kits, and to this day, the smell of cider vinegar reminds me of Easter. Like most of my friends, we'd be eating egg salad sandwiches for a week afterwards. We'd get dressed up, take the obligatory family picture, and go to church. Then we'd either have relatives over, or go to someone's house for the afternoon.
I guess I'm just feeling nostalgic. I'll get my ham sandwich craving satisfied today or tomorrow, and continue to think about springy things.
But it also strikes me that the way I celebrate holidays has changed since the divorce. I don't put a lot of effort into the big holiday extravaganza because it's just me and Mr W, and half the time he's at his dad's house.
Growing up, my mom would hide our Easter baskets around the house and I'm still impressed at how she found good hiding places for years. We always used the Paas dye kits, and to this day, the smell of cider vinegar reminds me of Easter. Like most of my friends, we'd be eating egg salad sandwiches for a week afterwards. We'd get dressed up, take the obligatory family picture, and go to church. Then we'd either have relatives over, or go to someone's house for the afternoon.
I guess I'm just feeling nostalgic. I'll get my ham sandwich craving satisfied today or tomorrow, and continue to think about springy things.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Ugh, more snow? What I meant was...
This morning finds Colorado digging out from another spring storm. No one can really bitch too much about it, as we desperately need the moisture and that's just how the climate is around here. I get a little bummed out because the plows (a good thing) pile snow up in front of my alley, and it's hard to get my car out unless I shovel that plowed snow (a bad thing).
But I didn't really want to post on the snow. This week marked what would have been my mom's 72nd birthday.
I guess I can blame this one on Facebook. People have posted a lot of family photos, and it has been really fun to see both the families of people how they were when I was growing up, as well as of their kids and families now.
I also heard a statistic this week that unemployment hasn't been this high since 1983, the year I graduated from high school. The following year, my dad lost his job, and, being the selfish teenager I was, the first words out of my mouth were, "Can I still go away to college this fall?" I still cringe when I think of that, even more so now that I'm a parent and I know how much is involved in financing kids' activities. I did get to go away to college after all, by the way.
But I guess it's these things that have me wondering about what my mom would be like at this age, and what she would think about how I've turned out. She was certainly a product of her time. She and dad (who just turned 74 and is going strong) had three kids in the space of three years, which I know I've mentioned before but it never ceases to astound me.
She grew up in Pine Bush, NY, the daughter of a teacher and a large animal vet who worked for Cornell. She enrolled in nursing school at St. Luke's hospital, in New York City, and got her nursing degree. After she graduated, she and a friend drove out West, and spent 6 months sightseeing and working. To hear her tell it, all you had to do to get a job was to tell the nursing supervisor where you went to school and who your nursing supervisor was there, and you could get a job. I've always been impressed that, as two single women, they had the chutzpah to go on this adventure. I think it was the late 1950's.
She moved to Cleveland, I assume because that's where her friend was from, and at the almost-old-maid age of 24, met my dad at a party and they were married a year later. She stayed home with us kids until I was going to start first grade. I still remember getting her all to myself that year, when I only had half day kindergarten. Can you imagine? She almost had her freedom, the third kid ready to start school and.... she gets pregnant with my younger brother. Ouch. This must have been very difficult for her, for both of them, but she stayed a stay at home mom until he went off to school, and then continued working as a nurse.
Unfortunately, she was a smoker, and could never manage to quit. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to her lungs (or maybe the other way around?) in 1993, during a summer that she was in and out of the hospital, and we were all firmly in denial of the incomprehensible idea that she could die. I regret that no one ever acknowledged that she was actually dying, she just got sicker and sicker and then she was gone.
I wish she and Mr W could have met. They would have been fast friends, and I'm so grateful that he's got his grandma on his dad's side that treats him the way a grandma should (treats, gifts, a good listening ear).
She was a huge Cleveland Browns fan, in the glory days of Brian Sipe and in the days when the team was actually a contender. We'd watch the games on Sundays, and I must have been in junior high at the time. She hated to watch the games alone, and my dad would get so worked up that he had to go upstairs and read, or go take a walk. She'd get all excited when the Browns would make a good play, and in her euphoria, she'd pinch the upper arm (hard, sometimes!) of the closest person.
To say that I miss her is not quite getting at it. It's like with my sister. There's simply a hole there that can't really be filled. We are so adaptable as people, though, that this stuff teaches what we can deal with ourselves and what we need to call on our support circle (that's so new agey, but still) for.
Happy Birthday, Judy!
But I didn't really want to post on the snow. This week marked what would have been my mom's 72nd birthday.
I guess I can blame this one on Facebook. People have posted a lot of family photos, and it has been really fun to see both the families of people how they were when I was growing up, as well as of their kids and families now.
I also heard a statistic this week that unemployment hasn't been this high since 1983, the year I graduated from high school. The following year, my dad lost his job, and, being the selfish teenager I was, the first words out of my mouth were, "Can I still go away to college this fall?" I still cringe when I think of that, even more so now that I'm a parent and I know how much is involved in financing kids' activities. I did get to go away to college after all, by the way.
But I guess it's these things that have me wondering about what my mom would be like at this age, and what she would think about how I've turned out. She was certainly a product of her time. She and dad (who just turned 74 and is going strong) had three kids in the space of three years, which I know I've mentioned before but it never ceases to astound me.
She grew up in Pine Bush, NY, the daughter of a teacher and a large animal vet who worked for Cornell. She enrolled in nursing school at St. Luke's hospital, in New York City, and got her nursing degree. After she graduated, she and a friend drove out West, and spent 6 months sightseeing and working. To hear her tell it, all you had to do to get a job was to tell the nursing supervisor where you went to school and who your nursing supervisor was there, and you could get a job. I've always been impressed that, as two single women, they had the chutzpah to go on this adventure. I think it was the late 1950's.
She moved to Cleveland, I assume because that's where her friend was from, and at the almost-old-maid age of 24, met my dad at a party and they were married a year later. She stayed home with us kids until I was going to start first grade. I still remember getting her all to myself that year, when I only had half day kindergarten. Can you imagine? She almost had her freedom, the third kid ready to start school and.... she gets pregnant with my younger brother. Ouch. This must have been very difficult for her, for both of them, but she stayed a stay at home mom until he went off to school, and then continued working as a nurse.
Unfortunately, she was a smoker, and could never manage to quit. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to her lungs (or maybe the other way around?) in 1993, during a summer that she was in and out of the hospital, and we were all firmly in denial of the incomprehensible idea that she could die. I regret that no one ever acknowledged that she was actually dying, she just got sicker and sicker and then she was gone.
I wish she and Mr W could have met. They would have been fast friends, and I'm so grateful that he's got his grandma on his dad's side that treats him the way a grandma should (treats, gifts, a good listening ear).
She was a huge Cleveland Browns fan, in the glory days of Brian Sipe and in the days when the team was actually a contender. We'd watch the games on Sundays, and I must have been in junior high at the time. She hated to watch the games alone, and my dad would get so worked up that he had to go upstairs and read, or go take a walk. She'd get all excited when the Browns would make a good play, and in her euphoria, she'd pinch the upper arm (hard, sometimes!) of the closest person.
To say that I miss her is not quite getting at it. It's like with my sister. There's simply a hole there that can't really be filled. We are so adaptable as people, though, that this stuff teaches what we can deal with ourselves and what we need to call on our support circle (that's so new agey, but still) for.
Happy Birthday, Judy!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Pushing Extra-curriculars
My kid likes his routine. He spends his free time in the morning and evening watching TV and playing either on the computer or his DS. He loves playing driving games and games where the good guys shoot the bad robots/tanks/aliens. I adhere to the ratings, so he doesn't shoot people (this may be a rather fine distinction if you are against shooting games...).
My beef (beeves?) with the video games are that they don't require any interaction with other people (at his level, anyway), and that the type of problem solving skills they foster involved force over negotiation. There aren't many good woman/girl role models either.
I want more for him. I want him to develop some other interests, like music, art, or a sport.
The other day a friend posted pictures on Facebook of her son's piano recital. Her son also does karate (or some kind of martial art). Another friend's two kids have done target shooting and swimming (respectively) for years. Yet another friend has a fishy daughter who has taken really well to synchronized swimming. The list goes on and on. Most kids have something they "do" outside of school.
This made me feel like I'm not doing enough for my kid. I sure as hell don't want to push him, or force him to be so driven that he ends up smoking dope in the bathroom at school, but I also want him to know what it's like to do something that requires practice, and that he would get better at over time, AND that he enjoys.
For the time being, I'm trying to introduce him to things, but it's hard. It often requires signing him up for a class. Our city has a great recreation department, and the spring classes open up for registration next week in a huge mad rush with lots of rabid moms vying for spots. Or so it seems to me, anyway. In the meantime, I have signed him up for a "growing stuff" after school thing at our local horticulture gardens that meets every other week for a couple of months.
The plant class is so much me wanting him to like gardening, that I can almost guarantee he'll be lukewarm on it at best.
This brings up a good point - should the thing he "does" come from him, or me (or his dad)? If it were entirely up to him, he'd stick with the program of TV and video games. He doesn't particularly WANT to try new things.
Stay tuned. I'm going to see what the spring offerings are, and go from there.
And don't get me started on how most summer "camps" go from 9am-3pm. What about us working stiffs?
My beef (beeves?) with the video games are that they don't require any interaction with other people (at his level, anyway), and that the type of problem solving skills they foster involved force over negotiation. There aren't many good woman/girl role models either.
I want more for him. I want him to develop some other interests, like music, art, or a sport.
The other day a friend posted pictures on Facebook of her son's piano recital. Her son also does karate (or some kind of martial art). Another friend's two kids have done target shooting and swimming (respectively) for years. Yet another friend has a fishy daughter who has taken really well to synchronized swimming. The list goes on and on. Most kids have something they "do" outside of school.
This made me feel like I'm not doing enough for my kid. I sure as hell don't want to push him, or force him to be so driven that he ends up smoking dope in the bathroom at school, but I also want him to know what it's like to do something that requires practice, and that he would get better at over time, AND that he enjoys.
For the time being, I'm trying to introduce him to things, but it's hard. It often requires signing him up for a class. Our city has a great recreation department, and the spring classes open up for registration next week in a huge mad rush with lots of rabid moms vying for spots. Or so it seems to me, anyway. In the meantime, I have signed him up for a "growing stuff" after school thing at our local horticulture gardens that meets every other week for a couple of months.
The plant class is so much me wanting him to like gardening, that I can almost guarantee he'll be lukewarm on it at best.
This brings up a good point - should the thing he "does" come from him, or me (or his dad)? If it were entirely up to him, he'd stick with the program of TV and video games. He doesn't particularly WANT to try new things.
Stay tuned. I'm going to see what the spring offerings are, and go from there.
And don't get me started on how most summer "camps" go from 9am-3pm. What about us working stiffs?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Signs of Spring
Yesterday, I started the process of tidying up my garden for spring. Here's some pictures! This might be the year we do something with the rhubarb. Mr W knows the Rhubarb Song from A Prairie Home Companion, which I didn't realize until this weekend. Part of him must be listening. He likes the sound effects too.It amazes me how the rhubarb dies to nothing in the winter, then rises up in the spring, like crumpled fists pushing out of the dirt. It's freakishly hardy. I never water it, it's right next to the driveway, and it puts out huge (5' tall) flower spikes along with the huge leaves.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Geez, another parenting lesson
Mr W went on a field trip to our local science museum on Friday. He was really excited about this one toy in the gift shop, and since we were planning on going there Saturday for another event, we arranged for him to do some chores to earn the money to get the toy.
We got to the museum, and bought the toy, and he was so excited. It was a plastic dinosaur that transformed into a robot. Cool idea. The museum had Take Apart Day, where they bring in a bunch of old electronics and give the kids screwdrivers, wire cutters, etc. and let them go. It was really cool, and we took apart an old fax machine. They showed us where the motor was, and we took that out, hooked it up to a battery and made it go.
So Mr W is very happy with his new toy, and we head off to the library. He's pretty easy on his toys, and takes good care of his stuff. All of the sudden, he lets out this cry, and is holding the two pieces of his broken toy in his hands. He was really, really upset, demanding we go back to the museum and get his money back. Just crying with rage. I cycled though trying to be supportive and empathetic and then was sort of, "it's just a replaceable toy". Back and forth.
We finished our day, and of course he mentioned it first thing this morning. And, of course, the museum is closed until Tuesday. I told him we'd have to wait until then to get his money back. I thought that I could just give him the $8, but that it might mean more if we waited? I don't know. So he got out of bed, and I carried him to the living room. I just stood there, holding him for a few minutes, and then I said, "are you ready for me to put you down?" And to my surprise, he says, "yes, I think I'm over the dinosaur toy thing."
Wow, good job, Mr W.
We got to the museum, and bought the toy, and he was so excited. It was a plastic dinosaur that transformed into a robot. Cool idea. The museum had Take Apart Day, where they bring in a bunch of old electronics and give the kids screwdrivers, wire cutters, etc. and let them go. It was really cool, and we took apart an old fax machine. They showed us where the motor was, and we took that out, hooked it up to a battery and made it go.
So Mr W is very happy with his new toy, and we head off to the library. He's pretty easy on his toys, and takes good care of his stuff. All of the sudden, he lets out this cry, and is holding the two pieces of his broken toy in his hands. He was really, really upset, demanding we go back to the museum and get his money back. Just crying with rage. I cycled though trying to be supportive and empathetic and then was sort of, "it's just a replaceable toy". Back and forth.
We finished our day, and of course he mentioned it first thing this morning. And, of course, the museum is closed until Tuesday. I told him we'd have to wait until then to get his money back. I thought that I could just give him the $8, but that it might mean more if we waited? I don't know. So he got out of bed, and I carried him to the living room. I just stood there, holding him for a few minutes, and then I said, "are you ready for me to put you down?" And to my surprise, he says, "yes, I think I'm over the dinosaur toy thing."
Wow, good job, Mr W.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
From a kid's perspective
I've often wondered what my kid and CB's kids think of the new person in their parent's life. Mr W was only 4 when his dad and I split up, so I he's lived with his parents apart for as long as they were together. Since I'm in a long-distance relationship, Mr W usually has me to himself. Also, when CB and I see each other, I usually come down here (I'm in AZ at the moment) because he travels so much.
We picked up CB's kids yesterday for a visit, and were winding down yesterday, when the younger one asks, "Is Linda staying over tonight?" "Yes." "Is she sleeping in your bed?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because she's my girlfriend."
And then the best part, said with incredulity:
"She's not your girlfriend!" "Yes, she is." That took a few moments to sink in and then we talked about something else. It makes me wonder, how do these kids view me? I think that Mr W, being an only child, sees his parents with new partners as ultimately a good thing. He gets more one on one attention when he's at either house, so it's good. I guess CB's kids see me in a pretty neutral way as an occasional visitor.
I think about when I was growing up, and how scandalous (and a thing worthy of judgement) it was when a kid's parents got divorced. Being in Catholic school, it just didn't happen often. Now, it's common enough that other kids know it's not a reason to view a kid with disdain. I'm glad for that.
And, incidentally, Mr W did the same thing as CB's kid the last time CB came to my house. It went something like this: "Is he sleeping over?" "Yes." "Where is he going to sleep?" "In my bed." "Why does he get to sleep in your bed?" And on...
Ultimately, I think kids are pretty accepting of new stuff as long as their needs are met.
We picked up CB's kids yesterday for a visit, and were winding down yesterday, when the younger one asks, "Is Linda staying over tonight?" "Yes." "Is she sleeping in your bed?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because she's my girlfriend."
And then the best part, said with incredulity:
"She's not your girlfriend!" "Yes, she is." That took a few moments to sink in and then we talked about something else. It makes me wonder, how do these kids view me? I think that Mr W, being an only child, sees his parents with new partners as ultimately a good thing. He gets more one on one attention when he's at either house, so it's good. I guess CB's kids see me in a pretty neutral way as an occasional visitor.
I think about when I was growing up, and how scandalous (and a thing worthy of judgement) it was when a kid's parents got divorced. Being in Catholic school, it just didn't happen often. Now, it's common enough that other kids know it's not a reason to view a kid with disdain. I'm glad for that.
And, incidentally, Mr W did the same thing as CB's kid the last time CB came to my house. It went something like this: "Is he sleeping over?" "Yes." "Where is he going to sleep?" "In my bed." "Why does he get to sleep in your bed?" And on...
Ultimately, I think kids are pretty accepting of new stuff as long as their needs are met.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Me too, me too
I got into AZ today, and the weather is delightful. Sunny, and about 70 degrees. It's always fun to visit, although CB's working on a cold, and we'll just have to see if I come down with one as well . We've been pretty lucky in that regard so far.
He pointed out what by now has made the rounds so much that I won't link to it: the call-on-the-carpet of Jim Cramer by Jon Stewart of the Daily Show. We watched it twice today, and I have to say how impressed I am that Stewart gave voice to what so many of us are thinking these days. He took all of CNBC to task on this; Cramer was only the poster child.
I think Stewart's point was that CNBC is all about showmanship and tricks and gadgets, such that they weren't serving the regular investors out there whose 401Ks funded the unsustainable returns touted by some of these schemes. At any rate, Stewart got his points across with passion and he was articulate and just did a great job.
I have been trying to make sense of the economy these days by following Planet Money. It's a blog and podcast on NPR and recommend it very highly to anyone who wants to know how things could go so terribly wrong and shat can be done about it. Lots of good analyses with the lingo parts explained.
He pointed out what by now has made the rounds so much that I won't link to it: the call-on-the-carpet of Jim Cramer by Jon Stewart of the Daily Show. We watched it twice today, and I have to say how impressed I am that Stewart gave voice to what so many of us are thinking these days. He took all of CNBC to task on this; Cramer was only the poster child.
I think Stewart's point was that CNBC is all about showmanship and tricks and gadgets, such that they weren't serving the regular investors out there whose 401Ks funded the unsustainable returns touted by some of these schemes. At any rate, Stewart got his points across with passion and he was articulate and just did a great job.
I have been trying to make sense of the economy these days by following Planet Money. It's a blog and podcast on NPR and recommend it very highly to anyone who wants to know how things could go so terribly wrong and shat can be done about it. Lots of good analyses with the lingo parts explained.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
It's worth doing right
My friend D, who is the person responsible for getting me started in knitting things other than scarves, and I are doing our own little KAL. That stands for Knit Along (in knitspeak anyway) and we are each making the same sweater. I'm a Ravelry addict, as are thousands of knitters who keep track of their projects using the site and share their substantial knowledge of the craft. More than 4000 Ravelers have made this sweater, which is a good sign that it's a well-written pattern.
Of course, money is tight, as it always is, and yarn is expensive. Well, the good stuff can be, anyway. It's really easy to spend upwards of $80-$90 for yarn for a sweater. Not to mention often having to buy a couple of new sets of needles, adding another $15-20 to the project. In trying to find a way around this, I have bought a couple of thrift store sweaters that I am in the process of unraveling (frogging, it's called) but I don't feel skilled enough to recycle this yarn into a sweater just yet.
I ended up going to the craft store and getting a cheap, mostly acrylic (which is the really poor cousin of wool yarn) blend at $2.30 a ball. Yup, $14 for all the yarn I'd need. And the color was OK, cranberry.
OK, all set to cast on. I start knitting, and the whole time I'm thinking, "this isn't so bad, hey it's kind of scratchy, it's only my dry hands, I don't like the way this feels, I wonder how this will feel against my skin" You get the picture. It was yarn-buyer's remorse.
And then I thought, you know, I'm going to spend probably 40-50 hours (or more?) on this project, and it's something that, if I do a pretty good job on it, I'll be able to have it for years. Don't I want to love the yarn throughout the project?
So, here's where I'm going with this. I like this and this. Both are from Knitpicks, and will cost me about $50 for all the yarn I'll need. It's terribly cliche to say it, but life is too short to spend creating things with bogus materials. I don't need the $15 a ball cashmere blend (although that would be nice) but if I'm going to commit the time to the project, I should use decent materials.
I'll be placing my order today or tomorrow.
Image from Knitpicks
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Negotiations
Mr W and I were getting ready for the day on Tuesday, and he said, "I don't want to go to school, school's dumb." Somewhere back in my mind I remember hearing something about this. When a parent hears this, they are supposed to poke around a bit to see if the kid is having any trouble with class, teachers, friends, etc.
So I start asking questions about these things, and it's so amazing to me that this technique actually works. He starts in on how all of his friends are, "running away when they see me". Uh-oh. We talk about why this might be and he says they always want to play Star Wars, and wants to play Bionicle, and they are being mean, etc.
We talk about ways he can deal with this. I like to entertain all options, including the absurd and the unrealistic, just to show him that he's not locked into having to have a situation continue as it is. I basically say that friends take turns deciding what they play, and maybe they can talk about it.
We get to school in plenty of time, so I'm at the swings with him until the playground person comes out. Here comes his friend, and he comes right over to us. I keep myself from saying, "See? He's not running away." Mr W says, "we always play Star Wars, I want to play something else." Pause. "OK. You want to play Bionicles, don't you? I want to be Gresh (who is the coolest one)." This is debated, and off they go to do little boy stuff, conflict resolved.
I guess what impresses me is how he 'got it'. It was really cool to see Mr W expressing himself and asking for what he wanted in a calm way. Life is complicated. The sooner he learns to take turns and express himself clearly, the better.
So I start asking questions about these things, and it's so amazing to me that this technique actually works. He starts in on how all of his friends are, "running away when they see me". Uh-oh. We talk about why this might be and he says they always want to play Star Wars, and wants to play Bionicle, and they are being mean, etc.
We talk about ways he can deal with this. I like to entertain all options, including the absurd and the unrealistic, just to show him that he's not locked into having to have a situation continue as it is. I basically say that friends take turns deciding what they play, and maybe they can talk about it.
We get to school in plenty of time, so I'm at the swings with him until the playground person comes out. Here comes his friend, and he comes right over to us. I keep myself from saying, "See? He's not running away." Mr W says, "we always play Star Wars, I want to play something else." Pause. "OK. You want to play Bionicles, don't you? I want to be Gresh (who is the coolest one)." This is debated, and off they go to do little boy stuff, conflict resolved.
I guess what impresses me is how he 'got it'. It was really cool to see Mr W expressing himself and asking for what he wanted in a calm way. Life is complicated. The sooner he learns to take turns and express himself clearly, the better.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Must have been the extra sleep
Has this ever happened to you? You go along in life, doing the things you are supposed to be doing, meeting your obligations, and although you do all the required stuff you usually do, it just seems hard to get things done, and things aren't as fun as they usually are? OK, that's probably not a sentence, but hopefully you can follow.
More to the point, I feel better the last few days than I have felt for a while. As if I've left a burden behind, or am moving away from something. I think I placed a lot of significance in the anniversary of my sister's death, and was dreading the lead-up to it. Now that it's past, and I've talked to most of my family about it, it seems appropriate to start looking ahead again, instead of back.
I hate how the process made me feel like everything was off kilter at times. And it is a process. Losing a close sibling is a big hit, and there will always be a hole there. It coincided with some doctor stuff I was tending to (check ups, and everything's fine) and my mortality seemed to loom large over everything. I don't want to be the next one in my family who dies young. But that one doesn't haunt me often, thankfully.
Anyway, so I gave the talk at work, and a couple of people's comments reminded me how much I like teaching, and I start to wonder about what I should be doing with my life professionally. And then, I got a good night's sleep.
I think I get just enough sleep to not be tired during the day, and not get sick very often. I usually get between 6-7 hours, and that seems to work. I'm tired at the end of the day (like now) and get up early enough to give myself some knitting or blog or Facebook time before I start my day.
Well, I was going to get up at 6 yesterday and head off to work, but fell back asleep for two more hours. It was afterwards that I got the idea that maybe I could teach one community college course in the summer or fall and see if I like it.
It is rest that begets these crazy ideas. I didn't feel any more energized, just more optimistic. It's funny how that works. I don't know if I'll do it, but I am going to think about it. I have a contact person at our local community college, and was set to teach a couple of courses there when the divorce stuff started a few years ago.
So on that note, I'm off to load the coffee pot for tomorrow and head off to bed.
More to the point, I feel better the last few days than I have felt for a while. As if I've left a burden behind, or am moving away from something. I think I placed a lot of significance in the anniversary of my sister's death, and was dreading the lead-up to it. Now that it's past, and I've talked to most of my family about it, it seems appropriate to start looking ahead again, instead of back.
I hate how the process made me feel like everything was off kilter at times. And it is a process. Losing a close sibling is a big hit, and there will always be a hole there. It coincided with some doctor stuff I was tending to (check ups, and everything's fine) and my mortality seemed to loom large over everything. I don't want to be the next one in my family who dies young. But that one doesn't haunt me often, thankfully.
Anyway, so I gave the talk at work, and a couple of people's comments reminded me how much I like teaching, and I start to wonder about what I should be doing with my life professionally. And then, I got a good night's sleep.
I think I get just enough sleep to not be tired during the day, and not get sick very often. I usually get between 6-7 hours, and that seems to work. I'm tired at the end of the day (like now) and get up early enough to give myself some knitting or blog or Facebook time before I start my day.
Well, I was going to get up at 6 yesterday and head off to work, but fell back asleep for two more hours. It was afterwards that I got the idea that maybe I could teach one community college course in the summer or fall and see if I like it.
It is rest that begets these crazy ideas. I didn't feel any more energized, just more optimistic. It's funny how that works. I don't know if I'll do it, but I am going to think about it. I have a contact person at our local community college, and was set to teach a couple of courses there when the divorce stuff started a few years ago.
So on that note, I'm off to load the coffee pot for tomorrow and head off to bed.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tap, tap, this thing on?
I've been busy this last week, working on a presentation for work. They do a weekly seminar series and I signed up way back in September to do the seminar for this week. My topic was all set, the research was finished and written up, it was more a matter of getting back in the groove of giving a presentation.
I was able to head home to practice, and gave my presentation to Sally numerous times. At the beginning, I'd have to stop and change something, or move a slide around in the PowerPoint presentation. But after a while, it clicked and I was ready.
I showed up early, worked with the IT guy to make sure the clicker worked and that the people who vidoeconference with us in Puerto Rico could hear us. Then, of course, the clicker didn't work for the presentation itself, and the settings for Puerto Rico's feed had to be fiddled with. But all that was OK. It was a friendly audience. The talk went smoothly and people asked questions for about 10 minutes.
Afterwards, I had a couple of people ask me if I had been, or had aspirations to be, a professor. This struck a cord with me because it hits me in the "are you doing what you're supposed to be doing?" department. I HAVE always wanted to be a college professor. I DO like to teach.
So why have I not pursued this? I am daunted by the amount of work that is required. The process of obtaining grants to support research is grueling, and so very competitive. I think I would feel like I wasn't devoting enough time to raising my son. I'd have to move, and things are already complicated enough being in a long distance relationship, and having Mr W's dad to account for.
I don't know. If I want to get back into it, I'd have to take on some kind of part time or volunteer work to show that I'm still thinking about it. I have a good job until June of 2010. I wish I had a crystal ball. Part of me just wants to know if I have the chutzpah to pull it off.
I think this comes from coming off of the first anniversary of my sister's death. I feel like I've rolled out from under something big and it's time to get back to looking toward the future instead of the past.
I was able to head home to practice, and gave my presentation to Sally numerous times. At the beginning, I'd have to stop and change something, or move a slide around in the PowerPoint presentation. But after a while, it clicked and I was ready.
I showed up early, worked with the IT guy to make sure the clicker worked and that the people who vidoeconference with us in Puerto Rico could hear us. Then, of course, the clicker didn't work for the presentation itself, and the settings for Puerto Rico's feed had to be fiddled with. But all that was OK. It was a friendly audience. The talk went smoothly and people asked questions for about 10 minutes.
Afterwards, I had a couple of people ask me if I had been, or had aspirations to be, a professor. This struck a cord with me because it hits me in the "are you doing what you're supposed to be doing?" department. I HAVE always wanted to be a college professor. I DO like to teach.
So why have I not pursued this? I am daunted by the amount of work that is required. The process of obtaining grants to support research is grueling, and so very competitive. I think I would feel like I wasn't devoting enough time to raising my son. I'd have to move, and things are already complicated enough being in a long distance relationship, and having Mr W's dad to account for.
I don't know. If I want to get back into it, I'd have to take on some kind of part time or volunteer work to show that I'm still thinking about it. I have a good job until June of 2010. I wish I had a crystal ball. Part of me just wants to know if I have the chutzpah to pull it off.
I think this comes from coming off of the first anniversary of my sister's death. I feel like I've rolled out from under something big and it's time to get back to looking toward the future instead of the past.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
And this is what a headrest is for
Let's see, today's Thursday. On Tuesday, I was sitting in my car with Mr W, waiting for his dad to come out to take him home for the rest of a sick day. As we sat there, I pointed out this old pick up truck. You know, the one's with the huge curved front end. I told him, 'look how there's no headrest. In those days, if you were hit, you could get whiplash from the impact. That's why we have headrests in cars made these days.'
Fast forward to the very next day. I'm coming home from a PT appointment for my hip. It's going great - really helping, btw. I'm stopped at a red light and a truck (not an old truck, but a Durango) bumps me from behind. I'm OK, although I'll let the PT'ist know tomorrow when I go in to see if she sees anything.
Turns out, the car that hit me was itself hit from behind and pushed into me. They seemed OK too, but they had this spindly ski rack on the back of their truck that made a real mess of the third car. No damage to my car, although I could read their license plate on my bumper (I think it was a dirt transfer, their bumper was very dirty).
I got out of my car after it happened, and only at that point did I realize that the back of my head felt like it had hit the headrest. It must have happened so fast that I didn't really remember it. Thanks, headrests!!
Stuff happens that fast sometimes. I'm glad it wasn't worse. I was also glad I had my registration and proof of insurance handy. It was good to be caught doing everything right, you know?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Purty Pictures
I’m giving the seminar next week at work. I’ve been sitting at my computer for the last few days trying to get all the info into a PowerPoint presentation. I like how it’s going so far, and wanted to share the “take home” figure of the whole thing. If my audience were familiar with the program that made this, it could be a 5 minute talk. I have lots of nice tables and figures, though. Maybe I’ll post more later.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Those people are so annoying
I’ve been thinking lately about stereotypes. Several things have brought this to my attention recently, and I’m wondering if it’s one of those “the universe is trying to tell you something” situations.
Mr W and I were sitting at the table last night as he had a bowl of cereal before bed. I like this time because it’s just he and I talking a bit before he gets ready for bed. Out of nowhere, he said how his friend took his granola bar, without asking, at lunch the other day. Didn’t apologize, and the adult who was around told Mr W to more or less get over it. Then he says, “he’s like that because he’s Cambodian.” Ouch. So we talked a bit about the dangers of going down that road, and how important it is to be kind and fair to people.
Then I was reading a piece about a popular knitting designer. Several comments praised how the piece avoided the grandmotherly stereotypes associated with knitting. This one doesn’t bother me too much. I guess I’m more amused than anything else that something I get so much pleasure out of can be considered the realm of grannies. Then again, I’d like to be one of those ladies someday…
Finally, I was dropping Mr W off at the all-day day care he’s at because there’s no school today. I let him bring a toy, and he was immediately swarmed by several boys wanting to get a close look. He shoots the ball of the toy, and everyone runs after it. It went all of 6 feet, so they didn’t have to go far. This big jock type young woman (this is a post on stereotypes, after all) says, “OK, you need to walk back to where you ran to, and then walk back to your place from there.” So Mr W dutifully walked to the place he ran to, but in his excitement, runs back to his spot. “No, you need to walk both ways.”
Ummmm….
I looked at her and said, “You’re kidding, right?” “Excuse me?” “You’re kidding about that, right?” “No, they need to walk because the floor is slippery, etc. etc.” I rolled my eyes, said goodbye to Mr W and felt sorry for the oppression that kids sometimes have to endure. Yeah, I know it’s for their own good, but wouldn’t it work better to: 1) tell them what you expect of them (“Hey, boys, we don’t run in here because it’s slippery”) 2) tell them the consequences (“If you do run in here, you’ll have to do a time out”) and then 3) enforce the consequences. I don’t know, it just seems pointless to make a kid go back and walk his path again.
I think stereotypes sometimes come in handy for us to justify other people’s behavior that we don’t understand. It helps us categorize peoples’ actions so we can then move on. But these recent experiences remind me to dig a little deeper in order to be clear as to what my wants and expectations are, as well as to understand the motivations of others.
Mr W and I were sitting at the table last night as he had a bowl of cereal before bed. I like this time because it’s just he and I talking a bit before he gets ready for bed. Out of nowhere, he said how his friend took his granola bar, without asking, at lunch the other day. Didn’t apologize, and the adult who was around told Mr W to more or less get over it. Then he says, “he’s like that because he’s Cambodian.” Ouch. So we talked a bit about the dangers of going down that road, and how important it is to be kind and fair to people.
Then I was reading a piece about a popular knitting designer. Several comments praised how the piece avoided the grandmotherly stereotypes associated with knitting. This one doesn’t bother me too much. I guess I’m more amused than anything else that something I get so much pleasure out of can be considered the realm of grannies. Then again, I’d like to be one of those ladies someday…
Finally, I was dropping Mr W off at the all-day day care he’s at because there’s no school today. I let him bring a toy, and he was immediately swarmed by several boys wanting to get a close look. He shoots the ball of the toy, and everyone runs after it. It went all of 6 feet, so they didn’t have to go far. This big jock type young woman (this is a post on stereotypes, after all) says, “OK, you need to walk back to where you ran to, and then walk back to your place from there.” So Mr W dutifully walked to the place he ran to, but in his excitement, runs back to his spot. “No, you need to walk both ways.”
Ummmm….
I looked at her and said, “You’re kidding, right?” “Excuse me?” “You’re kidding about that, right?” “No, they need to walk because the floor is slippery, etc. etc.” I rolled my eyes, said goodbye to Mr W and felt sorry for the oppression that kids sometimes have to endure. Yeah, I know it’s for their own good, but wouldn’t it work better to: 1) tell them what you expect of them (“Hey, boys, we don’t run in here because it’s slippery”) 2) tell them the consequences (“If you do run in here, you’ll have to do a time out”) and then 3) enforce the consequences. I don’t know, it just seems pointless to make a kid go back and walk his path again.
I think stereotypes sometimes come in handy for us to justify other people’s behavior that we don’t understand. It helps us categorize peoples’ actions so we can then move on. But these recent experiences remind me to dig a little deeper in order to be clear as to what my wants and expectations are, as well as to understand the motivations of others.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Party Poopers
I like throwing parties off-site. You show up with a cake, meet the guests, they go off and have fun, come back for cake and presents, and then you leave things for the staff to clean up. Mr W's had two parties at Chuck E Cheese's now, and has enjoyed them a lot.
Yes, it can be sensory overload for the un-initiated, and many adults take refuge back by the food tables. The kids run around playing games for half the time, then come back for pizza and cake and a visit by the big rat, er, mouse.
I dutifully sent out invitations a couple of weeks ahead of time. To make it easier, or perhaps because I was too much of an optimist, I wrote "RSVP, regrets only" on the invitation. That way, and assuming most kids would attend, only the ones that wouldn't be there would have to call. Sounds good, right?
I had 4 kids not show up that I had to pay $15 apiece for. I can't believe their parents are so inconsiderate that they don't read the invitation and spend the 30 seconds it would take to call and say they won't make it. What is up with that??? It makes me pissed off all over again to write this.
The important thing is that Mr W had a good time, which he most certainly did. He was able to play the games with his buddies, and be the 'Birthday Star' for a bit. But I learned a lesson, which is that in the future I will make it crystal clear (and Miss Manners polite) that I need an RSVP. Hopefully that will at least cut down (it won't eliminate, I know) the incidence of having to pay for kids that don't show.
Yes, it can be sensory overload for the un-initiated, and many adults take refuge back by the food tables. The kids run around playing games for half the time, then come back for pizza and cake and a visit by the big rat, er, mouse.
I dutifully sent out invitations a couple of weeks ahead of time. To make it easier, or perhaps because I was too much of an optimist, I wrote "RSVP, regrets only" on the invitation. That way, and assuming most kids would attend, only the ones that wouldn't be there would have to call. Sounds good, right?
I had 4 kids not show up that I had to pay $15 apiece for. I can't believe their parents are so inconsiderate that they don't read the invitation and spend the 30 seconds it would take to call and say they won't make it. What is up with that??? It makes me pissed off all over again to write this.
The important thing is that Mr W had a good time, which he most certainly did. He was able to play the games with his buddies, and be the 'Birthday Star' for a bit. But I learned a lesson, which is that in the future I will make it crystal clear (and Miss Manners polite) that I need an RSVP. Hopefully that will at least cut down (it won't eliminate, I know) the incidence of having to pay for kids that don't show.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Let's Learn About Verbs!
Since I don't have cable, I usually pick up a few videos for Mr W to watch when he's at my house. It's been an interesting evolution from babyish stuff on out to more boy stuff. He had a Thomas the Tank Engine thing for years, and I can remember going to the library, looking for Thomas videos and being very disappointed when there weren't any. Of course, now when I go, there are 10 of them on the shelf. So it goes.
The videos are divided up into fiction and non-fiction, and the non-fictions ones alternately make me roll my eyes or just giggle. Sure, there are the stranger danger ones, and the potty training ones, but there are also ones that I can't imagine any kid sitting down to watch. Parts of speech? Come on! Hygiene? Can't parents handle that one?
Of course there are some that I wouldn't mind Mr W watching, like the stuff on science topics. He likes Cyberchase, from PBS, and anything Lego, robot, or super hero related. Such a little boy.
I like our library a lot. The community passed a tax increase for them a couple of years ago and I think they do a good job of being a repository of information for us.
The videos are divided up into fiction and non-fiction, and the non-fictions ones alternately make me roll my eyes or just giggle. Sure, there are the stranger danger ones, and the potty training ones, but there are also ones that I can't imagine any kid sitting down to watch. Parts of speech? Come on! Hygiene? Can't parents handle that one?
Of course there are some that I wouldn't mind Mr W watching, like the stuff on science topics. He likes Cyberchase, from PBS, and anything Lego, robot, or super hero related. Such a little boy.
I like our library a lot. The community passed a tax increase for them a couple of years ago and I think they do a good job of being a repository of information for us.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Paying attention to ducks
CB and I went birdwatching today, at some wetland areas on the west side of Tucson. It was a really nice day, in the 70's and sunny. The last couple of times I've visited, it's been gloomy or rainy, so it was really nice to get out and enjoy some nice weather.We saw mostly local species, including a pair of hawks that would cruise over the other birds and kind of stir things up a bit. CB really knows his stuff when it comes to birding, and when we go birding together, we have a system. He doesn't say what a bird is, he lets me try to figure it out (which is part of the fun, btw) and if I don't know it, he tells me. He's good that way.
We had just about walked around the length of the loop trail when we sat down to watch a bunch of ducks. Nothing earth shattering in terms of what species were there, but it was really neat just to sit and watch them for half an hour or so. Most of them were surprisingly busy. They'd be getting food, preening, getting into little scuffles with neighbors, but always on the move. They were close, so it was easy to get a good look at them, and appreciate some of the subtleties of the ones that can look similar other species. It was like a duck city, where they all had stuff they needed to do. Maybe all the action was because it's a good time to put on weight for migration.
I like that aspect of bird watching, when one is more concerned with what the birds are doing - appreciating them in some kind of context - rather than just checking off what the bird is.
image
Thursday, January 29, 2009
A 90% Day
At work, I have the flexibility to follow interesting lab results, and it's a part of the job I really like. I'm always looking at taxonomically-informative markers that can be used to quickly identify closely-related disease-carrying mosquito taxa.
A lot of "doing" science for me is getting materials, making solutions, setting up the PCRs, and in general doing the preliminary work to start answering the question you have. My coworker G has a name for this process, calling it "90%" of science.
The process also involves the dead-ends and mistakes one makes along the way (i.e. "did I remember to put that bit of stuff in the reaction?"). No doubt those can be informative as well, but often they just cause one to smack one's forehead and go the freezer to thaw the reagents again.
I've been putting in a lot of 90% days lately, and while I understand it's part of the process, it's a little frustrating as well. Another part of my job is to process samples with markers we already have that work well, so I've been doing that sort of bread-and-butter work as well and it's sort of comforting.
But it doesn't compare, thrill-wise, to figuring out something new that is of value to people wanting to ID specimens, and publishable as well.
A lot of "doing" science for me is getting materials, making solutions, setting up the PCRs, and in general doing the preliminary work to start answering the question you have. My coworker G has a name for this process, calling it "90%" of science.
The process also involves the dead-ends and mistakes one makes along the way (i.e. "did I remember to put that bit of stuff in the reaction?"). No doubt those can be informative as well, but often they just cause one to smack one's forehead and go the freezer to thaw the reagents again.
I've been putting in a lot of 90% days lately, and while I understand it's part of the process, it's a little frustrating as well. Another part of my job is to process samples with markers we already have that work well, so I've been doing that sort of bread-and-butter work as well and it's sort of comforting.
But it doesn't compare, thrill-wise, to figuring out something new that is of value to people wanting to ID specimens, and publishable as well.
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