I'm not big into astrology. However, I see the value for me in being reminded about what it means to lead an examined life. I do check in with Free Will Astrology from time to time, and this week he quotes a quote:
"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents that in times of prosperity would have lain dormant."
It got me thinking, and seeing my situation from a new angle. The job search continues to be really slow, and it seems that most of the jobs I apply for are in Denver or Boulder (an hour's commute away). The thought of fitting in 2.5 hours of commute time fills me with despair. On the other hand, what if it's a cool job? What if they let me telecommute a couple of days a week? What if the money is good, I learn new things, and it's got that "for the greater good" aspect? What if it lets me keep my house, and the life I'm otherwise used to living? Well, then I guess it's OK.
Besides that, though, I thought about this in-between time. This waiting time. This period of my life when I'm (broken record here) without a partner (saying "husband" sounds needy, "boyfriend" sounds like we're all in high school), and looking at being without a job. My thought was something like, "This is it. Living life is what you're doing right now. And you can be waiting for the next big thing to fall into place, or you can recognize that most of life is this in-between stuff when there is at least a little bit of flux." It got me back to the moment, and I'm trying hard now to focus more on the now. I've thought about, once the love and the job thing are resolved, how I will look back and see how I handled it. I want to be able to look back and feel like I did what I could, and lived life in the meantime.
Oh, and one more lesson, this morning, as the dog paces around, wanting to get into my room, but can't because my big boy 10 year old son is sleeping in there. The lesson is, don't play too much Plants vs. Zombies. There actually isn't a lot of violence, and the zombies are cartoonish and not all that scary. However, Mr. "I'm not scared" called out at 12:35 am, "Mom, I'm scared because of the Zombie game". OK, you get one night of refuge, but tonight you're on your own.
" . . . most of life is this in-between stuff when there is at least a little bit of flux." So true! A very, very wise post for all of us to remember.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Especially the part about not playing too much Plants vs. Zombies . . . whatever the heck that is.
Hey - I look at you and your garden and I see too beautiful things growing.
ReplyDeleteBaseball metaphore ahead... listening to the Indians last night - they were talking about batting slumps. And how even great players go through slumps. But, what makes them great is that they realize being a great hitter is NOT about what you hit, it is about what you don't. Meaning that great players are good at the other aspects of hitting(life)...for instance they walk more (to firstbase) when they are slumping. So for you...you're in a slump right now, but your a good hitter. So take your walks and while your waiting for your next hit, take solace in some of the other things in your life...the zombie loving kid, garden, friends, other projects. Ron