An appointment yesterday to get one last screening concluded a couple of months of checks, rechecks, biopsies, discomfort and waiting. All done, and I am OK on all fronts. I seem to have scheduled most of my annual checks and screenings to happen in the spring, so it's all lumped together.
A couple of thoughts I have about this are the following. First, I am very thankful that I have health insurance that allows me to get the care and not break the bank. If you're new to reading this blog, my sister and my mom both died young of cancer, and I'd like to beat that trend. You can search "Sister Kris" or "Cancer" in the labels to read about that. I'm trying to eat right, exercise and not hold onto too much stress so that I feel like I'm doing what I can to lower my risk. After that, it's fate and I do rest a little better knowing I've done what I can do.
The other thought is that this is how it's going to be. I'm not a hypochondriac, but when I get a twinge, I often think, "Is that something?" And then it's gone and I forget about it. When I go in for the various screenings appropriate for a mid-40's year old woman, I think to myself, "What if they find something? What will I do?" And so I worry some. I realized that, given my family history, every screen will present some kind of hurdle to cross, some kind of test to pass in order to continue. I have gotten a lot better at realizing that not knowing means that I just don't know. As in, I don't know whether it merits worrying or not, so by golly I'm going to whoop it up while I'm waiting. And if I don't whoop it up, then I'll get on with the business of living.
After yesterday's recheck that ended with, "Come back in a year", I walked out to my car, and thought, "I'm OK. I am OK". It was a big relief, although the bar wasn't set very high. It is as thought I've been granted permission to continue and I want to make the most of that.
In other news, it's raining! This actually is news around here. March was so very dry. It's kind of novel, and it's that warm spring rain that smells good and will green things up even more than they were before.
Lastly, here's my tulips yesterday. They weren't all white (that's good) and I really like the pink one in the upper right corner.