A proper burial

One of the things that I think is cool about my SIL, besides the great way she and my brother exist in their relationship (lots of back and forth, but in an atmosphere of cooperation) is that she reads cards. As in Tarot cards.

Now, I'm a sciencey person through and through, but there is something about the cards that, I believe, taps into a person's subconscious and reminds them (us) of things that either are going on, or that we need to think about. There are lots of different styles of decks, although they all have the same cards. She's had the same deck for a long time, and I like how she's familiar with the symbolism (there is a lot) on each card.

I asked her to do a reading when I was there this past weekend. One can do a general reading, or ask a specific question, and I usually opt for the general reading because it covers everything. I won't bore you with what each card was and what it meant, but the first two cards that are laid down represent where you are now. The first is what's immediately going on, and the second is what "crosses" it - what confounds, or enhances, or affects it.

My first card represented loss, and the second was the Illusion card. In short this meant something like, "if you think you've dealt with a recent loss adequately, you're fooling yourself". This got me thinking about the end of the long distance relationship I was in, and by the time I was driving home from the airport, I had mulled and thought, and come to the conclusion that I needed to send one more note to this person and put the relationship to rest for good. I hadn't realized it until that point, but it felt like the relationship ended without any tip of the hat to the things that were good about it.

So I wrote the note, he was his usual gracious self, and I feel like the relationship has had a proper burial. This is good, because I've been hanging out with someone as friends that I think wants to get a little more serious, and I now feel like I'm more ready to go that way. Yes, this is the same person I've been musing about lately here in blog posts.

It's wacky to me how this psychology stuff works sometimes. It seems to simple and straightforward that the letter needed to be written, but it took a long time for me to figure out I needed to write it. I feel absolved.