Thursday, March 20, 2008

Should I stay or should I go?

The call has gone out: we siblings are expected to show up at the wedding. Said wedding is for the son of my dad's partner of 10+ years, and is in Tampa in May. Nice guy, he's not the issue. I'm sure the wedding will be lovely.

*sigh* I understand the pull of family obligations, but I'm ambivalent on this one for a couple of reasons. First, I'm inclined to save my travel resources to see CB. Airline tickets ain't cheap, and I've long since used all of my vacation time, so I need to work weekends to get days off.

The other reason is that, from my perspective, from the me at this point in time (2 1/2 years post divorce and in the beginning of what I hope is a long term relationship) I think investing so much on the front end of a relationship, like hosting an expensive wedding reception, is sort of missing the point. Yes, I get it that the wedding is a public declaration of two people's commitment, but looking at the divorce rate, it's obviously not an indicator of success.

In my opinion, I think that a there should be a modest celebration to start the couple off with the best wishes of friends and family. Then, a good party should be thrown after about 10 years, with successively bigger celebrations at regular intervals thereafter. I mean, it's not the getting together that's hard, it's the staying together.

Too cynical? Maybe. And my little rant here is not directed specifically at the people getting married.

What will I do? I have to confer with my brothers and their spouses. The couple has specifically not invited children to the wedding, so that puts my younger brother and his wife in a bit of a bind. I mean, what does one do with two kids for a wedding that's 7 hours away?

Stay tuned.


  1. Have I ranted about my views on weddings? The couple is often so focused on the wedding that they forget that MARRIAGE is the junk that follows and is what matters. I like your idea to celebrate at the 10-year point instead of at day one.

  2. I don't know if I've heard that rant - sounds like we're in agreement. Getting the ring, dress, flowers, etc. is certainly the easy part!


Hi, sorry to make the humans do an extra step.