By mutual agreement, B and I decided to end our relationship today. I saw it coming, but I'm still a little melancholy tonight. We dated for about five months. In the end neither of us felt like it was a good fit. I tell you, that chemistry thing, that spark, the feeling that you and another person "fit", are still a bit of a mystery to me. It's hard when both parties are nice and good people, because you think it SHOULD work, but I guess it makes it easier, too, because you can part on good terms, which we did. No harm, no foul.
As I said, I saw this coming, and I was at the library yesterday, and happened upon a book called, "Meeting Your Half-Orange" by Amy Spencer. The subtitle is, "An utterly upbeat guide to using dating optimism to find your perfect match." The book is about getting into the mindset that: A) a person who is a really good fit for you is out there, and B) you can, by remembering this, and acknowledging what you're looking for, and what you have to offer, attract that person to you. The book stays largely away from making the process seem too mystical; she gives a psychological basis for her ideas instead, which I like. I also like how she stresses that we shouldn't settle. That we should do some soul searching as to what it is that we really want in a relationship, and ask for it.
And I find myself, strangely, optimistic. Something the book mentions is to tell the universe that you are looking for your half-orange (a translated Spanish expression that refers to the idea that if you find your half-orange, you and he make up something together that is complete, although she stresses that we are really looking for someone complementary, not someone who would "complete" us).
So I'm telling you and the universe, now, at this time. I'm in a good place in my life, and I'm looking for a committed relationship with a guy who is a really good fit for me and in it for the long haul.
I'm not soured on internet dating, either, btw. I still think it's a good way to see a bunch of people that meet your basic criteria. However, I'm not in a hurry to jump back into that pond. I'm going to just be for a while. I'm certain I'll find him. It might take a while, but he's out there.