Happy Birthday, Sister Kris

I refer to her as Sister Kris now out of habit.  My dad's girlfriend is named Chris, and I dated someone named Chris, so it was kind of a bookkeeping thing.  Nevertheless, today is her birthday.  She would have been 48 today.  It's going on three years now that she's gone.  I still think about giving her a call now and then like I used to, but it's not as frequent anymore.  I leaned on both she and the rest of my family pretty hard when I was going through the divorce.  She helped me a lot.

Kris was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer when she was 43.  Everyone was completely blindsided by this, as no one thinks to look for it in someone so young with no family history of it.   She responded well initially to treatment, and I remember so much waiting.  Another scan.  And another scan.
She fought bravely and had her family with her when she died.  She would be so proud, so very proud of her sons, who are both in college now, and doing well academically.  She would also be proud of her husband, who shepherded the boys through, and got them off to college and the next phase of their lives. 

Having loved ones die early affects a person.  I was angry and sad and a bit lost for a long time about it, and only recently have started to ponder bigger picture things that don't take those events into account.  Not to sound preachy (I really don't want to foist any sort of strong opinion on anyone) but I get something out of a show called On Being, where the host interviews all sorts of people on the topics of "religion, faith, meaning, ethics and ideas".  I feel fortunate to have my needs met to the extent that I have the luxury to ponder these bigger questions, and I'm trying not to ever forget that.

I will have a glass of wine later, and toast my sister, and thank her for all she's done for me, and promise to honor her memory by never forgetting what she means to me.