Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It's not you. OK, it is.

Tweeeeeeeeet! And that wraps up another round of online dating. Before I leave the micro-micro-microcosm that is Match, I wanted to share a couple of quotes from some of the people that have viewed my profile lately and given me the notion that there's perhaps too many frogs to kiss on Match and I need to spread the word amongst people I know that I'm looking. You know, the old fashioned way...

OK, the quotes, unedited by me.

"I'v been on eHarmony for about 3 months now, and still looking for a woman who can get past the fact that my divorce is not yet final. Not yet a member on Match.com, just testing the waters."

"My passion in life is living in and expanding the Kingdom of God."

"I am just a man, who has seen many things, been many places, and seeks to find someone to share some old and new of each with."

"I wish success and acceptance among all people and I hope the meeting with a girl romantic arabic and understand that Life is a game doomed to fall and enjoy all the times"

The rest of them are all seeming to gel together and no one stands out. Must be time to take a break. And, by the way, the Kingdom of God stuff is all well and good, it just wasn't what I was expecting to find in a profile. Not to be disrespectful, but why bring Him into it at this stage?

I was communicating with two men lately. One is 9, the other 13 years older. Sure, sure, everyone says that age is one of the least important determinants, but here's the thing. Both have children in college, and mine is still too young to stay home by himself. It's a different thing that I don't think either of these people would end up embracing. So the one has stopped emailing, and I just canceled a meeting for coffee today with the other one. I don't know, it just didn't feel right, and I'm not going to ignore that.

I am happier and more content when I'm not on Match. I feel like doing the online dating thing takes mental and emotional energy from me that I should be spending elsewhere. So I'm going to look around and find some things to do this weekend. I'm sorry if you've been reading about my struggles with finding a mate with a big fat yawn. Hey, me too. I'm tired of the struggle. Instead of being optimistic, it feels like so much work. Lopsided and backwards.

However, it's going to be another beautiful day here in CO. I'm working on another quickie sweater that I hope to finish this weekend. The Christmas decorations need to come down, and I have decided to call a handyman to install the darn disposal that is STILL sitting in my kitchen. Another artifact of living alone.


  1. Hear, hear! I've been off Match since I told you, a few weeks ago. It feels good to be away from that stressor.

    Think about giving OKCupid a try. It's free and the people I've met are higher quality, as in better matches than from Match. I think it's because of their algorithm - you answer questions and then specify how your match would answer the same question and how important the answer is to you. They develop match, friend and enemy percentages from there. I've met some 95% matches (boring to talk to someone who thinks exactly the same) and met some 70% matches who were pretty interesting. It's also successfully (quickly, so I don't have to even communicate with them) weeded out people who don't meet my basic requirements, like no drugs, no TV in the bedroom, less weight and appearance focus, etc. Shh, don't tell, but it might be working for me. Two weeks in with someone and things look good so far.

  2. I might, after a break. Shhh! I won't squeal. I hope it works for you. I'm also going to try to get out and DO stuff more. It's so nice to sit home and knit, but I know everyone here....

  3. I've been on match for about 6 weeks and met someone in whom I am interested in. He says he is... but then nothing. He's either playing me, or slightly damaged... or.... I'll give it the six months and then see what happens. I'll look as OKCupid and have heard plentyoffish.com is also a good alternative to match. Went out with someone who disclosed his divorce is almost finalized - but they've been fighting for 3-years and he has a 5th grader; he is 61.... NO THANK YOU!

    Good luck to us all and this unstopable urge to partner up.

  4. It's funny how my opinion of online dating swings WILDLY from "Hey, it can work!" to "This sucks! There's no one here that I can connect with!" I'm in the later camp at the moment, obviously.

    Suzanne, it stinks that people aren't upfront about things that their dates would rightfully reject them for. I like the last line of your comment. It is an unstoppable urge to be paired with a compatible partner. I suppose there are women who are happier by themselves, but I am not one of them.

  5. Sometimes you find the best things when you aren't even looking for them. That is what I am going with!

  6. The disparate ages of children is a huge issue! D and I discussed that a little when I was there. I wonder if I'm generous enough to accommodate a man with children much younger than mine, who are 18 and 22. I think the older I get I'm not as flexible, and I like the idea of grandparenting much more than parenting!


Hi, sorry to make the humans do an extra step.