Optimism

I'm still slogging through my Passiflora vest, which I will finish about the time it's OK to wear it with a long sleeved t-shirt underneath it. That's OK, I'm just not a fast knitter. This fact doesn't keep me from sometimes buying a sweater's worth of yarn with the high hopes of turning it into a nice sweater. I've got 10 balls of Pastaza that I bought last year and would like to turn into a sweater this year. I've posted some of the contenders here. The links are to the pattern info in Ravelry. Above is Ravenscar.

This is Acer, which I still really like. Pretty and practical.

This is called the Green Button Cardigan.

This is the Shalom cardigan.

And, finally, the Springfling cardigan. I like the open feel of this one.

At this point, this is a wish list. I need to finish that darn vest (which I think I will be happy with), and a pair of socks, and then I can think about which of these nice sweaters I'd like to knit.

Feeling a little reflective

Last week I had a dream where I was getting ready to graduate (from something). I walked from the holding area towards where the ceremony was going to be and saw my dad and his SO (significant other - I'm not a fan of "girlfriend" for senior citizens), signing in for something. When I got there, it was my mom and dad, and I was overcome by seeing them there together. My mom died in 1993, btw. I was crying with joy in the dream and that was enough to wake me up.

This kind of thing makes me think about where I've been, and where I'm going, and usually indicates that things have calmed down a bit and I'm wondering if I should be "doing something" (here's my pendulum analogy post). Is it time to take up guitar lessons? Learn Portuguese? Finish painting the trim on my house? Yes on that last one.

Anyway, this reflection stuff made me remember that at the end of the month, I will have been in my house for 5 years. This may not sound like a long time, but it's the longest I've lived anywhere since moving out of my parents house in 1984. What does it mean? I don't know. The first couple of years after the divorce were rather tumultuous and it seemed to take me a while to learn how to be single again. And a part time single parent.

Shortly before I ended the long distance relationship I was in for a couple of years, I joked with my friend D that the relationship was beneficial because it taught me to be on my own. She pointed out how absolutely ridiculous that is, and I think that was the thing that gave me the final push to end things.

So at the moment, I'm pleased with being in my 105 year old bungalow, in a cool old part of town. Pleased as heck with B and am excited and optimistic to see where that goes. Thankful for the healthy kid, sweet dog, good job, and good health. The usual stuff that gets checked off for these things.

I came across this book "The Four Agreements" by Ruiz the other day. I haven't read the book itself, but here are its four ideas:

1. Do your best.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Be impeccable with your word.

I've been working on #'s 2 and 3 of late, and it does get me out of overreacting to things.

Weekend Recap Labor Day 2010

I had a great time backpacking with B and Sally this weekend. I was anxious about being able to keep up, but B cut me a whole lotta slack, and I did just fine. He had all his stuff packed when he picked me up, so he carried a much heavier pack (i.e. all the food and the tent as well). Sally carried her own food in a doggie pack, and did great. We hiked about 1.5 miles in, set up camp and then went on a big hike on Saturday. A big hike. We were up around 11,000' and it was spectacular. Sadly, I did not bring my camera in an attempt to cut weight, but I think it would be worth it.

Sally's had to rest up a bit after such an adventure!

I spent Labor Day at home with Mr W, so his dad could go fishing. I had wanted to get some trim painting done on the house, but it was pretty breezy all day, so I cooked instead. I used up all the zucchini I had, and made some zucchini bread and zucchini lasagna. Cooking always seems to take more time than I think it will, but it was fun and both things taste good.

Above is a photo of my raised beds yesterday, and you can see why I've been motivated to use up my zucchini. It's the dominant thing in the beds, and has done very well. My grape tomatoes are fading for some reason, but put out a lot of good fruit. I'm still having ripening issues with the other two tomatoes I planted, and have only gotten a handful from each.

Hanging in front of the bed on the left is the one cantaloupe I think might make it this year. It's got brown netting on it already, and it's a race between me and the squirrels at this point to see who gets it first. I'm tickled to get this far with melons and will definitely plant some next year.

One of the nurseries in town has a 50% off sale on all their plants on Labor Day, so I picked up a couple of things yesterday. Above is a mum, which I'm always intending to get (like I'm always intending to plant lots of tulips and never seem to), but until yesterday had not. I was surprised how much mums remind me of my sister, who always had a few around.

Finally, I bought an apple tree! Yup, this is a Fireside apple. I think I'm going to plant the tree pretty much where it is in the picture and fill this whole area with mulch next spring. There's a big Golden Delicious tree next door which should act as the pollen source. It's having a bumper year, and I need to talk to the owner of the house (which is for sale) and make sure it's OK for me to harvest some. It's funny how I've seen several people stop and test the apples, assuming since the house is vacant that it's OK to help themselves. Sort of like the tree is community property.

Garden Report September 2

I have failed miserably in regularly posting pictures of my garden, and since it's dark at the moment, this task will wait another day. Those raised beds I constructed early on have done everything I've wanted them to do and I'm very happy with them. I thought I'd make some notes here about how things are and what to remember for next year.

I didn't water quite enough. I had the timer on to water every other day for 15 minutes through soaker hoses. While everything looks fine, the soil is now like concrete, and my tomatoes I think are smaller for it. I doubled the time a couple of weeks ago and we'll see if that makes a difference. Sometimes we get a light frost in September, I'd bet we don't this year. But you never know.

It was a so-so year for tomatoes. I've gotten lots of grape tomatoes, which I've eaten mostly while I've picked them, but have cooked a little with them as well. My fancy heirloom tomato has been all talk and no action, with two so-so tomatoes and now lots of green ones still. Unless there is a big convergence of ripening, I'll have to mark this season's tomatoes with a C-.

Zucchini takes up a lot of room. I'm OK with it spilling over the sides of the raised bed, but it crowded out the herbs I planted, as well as the peppers. It's done very well, though, and I'll plant it again. I won't plant the little round light green ones again, though. They're cute, but I didn't do much with them.

This underscores a problem I have. No A/C, and thus my oven rarely gets turned on in the summer. I need to adapt more recipes to my toaster oven, which touts itself as a convection oven as well.

Plant more lettuce. I bought lettuce starts in the spring, at $2 a plant, and thought I was being ripped off. Then I had lots of salads in a short amount of time, and thought it was money well spent. I will plant 6 plants next year instead of 3.

Plant bigger carrots. I planted these little petite ones that aren't worth the real estate. They don't taste very good either. My peas limped along and I'll start those sooner. I planted some the other day and maybe I'll get some fall peas, although a squirrel nipped off one plant entirely.

I'm happy I splurged and bought a tumble composter. It's actually doing its thing relatively quickly, and I'd like to make a bunch of compost to add to the raised beds and the other garden next year.

Plant more melons. I have one intrepid cantaloupe that started late and may or may not ripen by the first frost. I love cantaloupe, and so does Mr W, so we'll devote more space to those next year. I had wanted them to climb the trellis I put up, and should probably get a bigger trellis for that. Or, I guess I can just let them run out of the box as well.

More thoughts in the next post. And some pictures, too.

Doing things I haven't done for a while

I've done a fair bit of camping and hiking. When I got divorced, I kind of turned my back on it for a while. Add to this the long distance relationship (be a parent, work, work, travel for the relationship, work, repeat) for a couple of years, and this summer has felt like I'm revisiting old enjoyable, familiar things, as opposed to trying new stuff outright. It's largely due to dating someone for whom this stuff is second nature, and I'm at the same time thrilled to be out doing stuff, and a little trepidacious about being able to keep up.

That fear is largely unfounded, though. I'm OK with the fact that I'm slow on a bike and when hiking. It's not a race.

This weekend? Backpacking.

It's great that our local REI store rents these backpacks. It's a women's model, and the one I tried on in the store felt good (when it was empty!). My mind is busy thinking about what I should bring.
Two items I did go ahead and purchase are a new sleeping pad and one of these chair-makers. My old pad is heavy and good for car camping. My lower back is twingey now and then, and I thought that having some back support when we're done hiking for the day would be a good thing. Many would see the 11 oz. as unnecessary, but I want to increase my chances of having a good time and not worrying about my back.


Sally gets to come, so I'll probably borrow a dog pack from B and see if we can have her carry her own food and blanket. It's only fair.

images from www.rei.com.

A little different than expected

There were no moose to be seen when Mr W, Sally the dog and I went camping this weekend. It was...OK. I picked a spot online, and made some assumptions that didn't really work to our favor. The site itself was OK, no shade, and I have decided I don't care for sites with no trees. It feels too exposed. The campgrounds were OK. Out of about 40 sites, maybe 7 were occupied. The campground wasn't walking distance from anything, and although we went out and did small hikes a couple of times, we sort of saw what there was to see and spent most of the time hanging out in and around the van.

I set up the new sunshade thing I bought that is made specifically for vanagons. While Mr W and I were setting it up, it got windy, and one of the poles bent and I swore a lot. A lot. It rained off and on and I was happy we weren't in a tent for it.

It's a different thing, camping with one kid and one dog. I did a lot with the kid as far as keeping him entertained, but when I wasn't, he played with his stuff, or on his game player, and ended up spending entirely too much time on the thing. Having the campervan makes it a logistical challenge to "get in the car and go somewhere" once we get to the campsite, because the car IS the camper. It'd be more fun for him if we went with other families with kids. I'm also thinking of bringing our bikes the next time as well.


I was so so-so on the site that I didn't take any pictures of it. Above is a picture of Mr W and Sal at a spot we stopped at on the way home so the dog could go in the river and get cleaned off a bit.

When I was unpacking the van, this Praying Mantis caught my eye. We watched it for about 10 minutes while it climbed from the ground up the side of the house. This is a European Mantid because of the white spot on the inside of each foreleg. I'd never seen a Praying Mantis in my yard, so that was different. We had a good talk about what it would be like to be able to climb like that, and were thankful we wouldn't be on the receiving end of those forelegs.

Here is a grimy, post-camping Mr W with a funny expression for scale.

After the weekend, an expression comes to mind: "live and learn". I was very excited to take the kid and the dog and the van camping. Turns out it was kind of boring for W, and I wish there were more trails and kids for him to play with. I wanted to make reservations so we'd have a confirmed spot, and I don't think that's necessary a lot of the time. Next time I might try to coordinate with another family, or have Mr W bring a friend.

Myself, I liked having time to read and knit, and am getting better at arranging and rearranging things so we can use the inside space of the van efficiently. Having Sally is like having a third person who occupies precious floor space (a.k.a. "the magic square") and having her either outside or up on the bed works well depending on what we're doing. However, I still like the van, and both Mr W and Sal are real troopers when it comes to camping.

Best thing about the trip? While it was in the mid-90's down in town, it was cold enough to wear jackets a lot of the time when we were camping. I'm looking forward to fall.

Escaping the heat

It's still hot here. As much as we'd like to blame it on climate change, it's normal for this time of year. Poor Mr W's been coming home quite wilted at the end of the day, as his school has no A/C. I realized he probably spends more time there than perhaps even his teacher, coming at 8:30 and usually not leaving until close to 6 after attending the after school care that is on site. At least he gets his homework done and hangs with some of his friends.

I'd like to camp with the campervan several more times between now and when the snow flies. So today we're off to a state park called, State Forest State Park. Named by bureaucrats? You decide. Anyway, it's up at around 9,000 - 10,000 feet, which means it will be nice and cool. It's close to where B and I camped, but less remote. I'm just not comfortable doing the 'camp in the middle of nowhere on forest service land' thing with the kid and the dog. Yet. I feel vulnerable. So we'll do the campground thing while Mr W is young.

I ran into a friend the other day. She was a coworker for a year (2 years maybe?) and then took an assignment in Mozambique and I lost track of her. She's back in town and starting a PhD program, and it was so nice to see her. It gave me a sense of satisfaction to give her the 5 minute rundown of what I had been up to for the last year and half. I'm not sure why, but sometimes I lose sight of that fact that life is pretty darn good.

A little thing

I went to the dentist yesterday. Big whoop-dee-do, I know, but I am happy to report that I didn't have any cavities or other dental weirdness going on and that pleased me greatly. It's been this way for the last couple of years, things holding steady, and I must say I could get used to this.

There was a time, from childhood up through my 30's that there always seemed to be something wrong with my teeth. The culprit was too much sugar and not enough brushing (so simple, in retrospect). Not as many troubles as some people, but enough to invoke plenty of dental anxiety just walking into the office for a cleaning.

I reached some kind of turning point regarding how big of a deal the dentist was for me a couple of years ago (when things were improved anyway, I guess). I needed to go back for the good Dr. R. to file off some high points of a filling that she had replaced a week or two before. For that initial work, she had prescribed me some Valium, and I took the bus to the office, and had my neighbor pick me up. When it was time to go back and get the thing tweaked, I decided I simply didn't have the time to take the Valium and make arrangements for a ride and it was time to suck it up and just do it. It turned out fine, and the tooth hasn't bothered me since.

And since then, going to the dentist has involved more chatting about our kids than making treatment plans. I do the brushing/flossing thing and it seems to be working. It's a little thing, but it's nice to not have that anxiety anymore. No doubt there will be fillings to replace in the future, but after a break of not having to get any work done for a while I feel more ready when that time comes.

Sharing wisdom

Sometimes, what we need is to view ourselves a little differently. To that end, I present to you the Captain Underpants Name Generator. You may thank me for leaving a comment telling me your new name. Thanks to Bellona of Avalon's blog for this nugget. :-).

Sincerely,
Zippy Bubbleshorts

Here's your book back

I told the community college about a month ago that I wouldn't be able to teach again in this time around. It's with mixed feelings, as I really liked it. And while the money wasn't great by any means, the extra dough made it so I didn't have to watch each dollar as closely as I do now. I need to bring one of the text books back today, as well as the disks that go with the book. It's the least I can do.

It has me thinking, though, about this balance between work and life and what it is that makes us content. It's been a busy week, and for a lot of the summer, it seems like there's always something non-work related to get done during the day or after work. Something to have to squeeze in. Mr W started school this week, and aside from making sure he gets his homework done at the after-school care he goes to, his routine of when to get up and when to go to bed won't change too much.

But, as I was doing the dishes last night, I did have the happy thought that there weren't papers to grade, and I could sit down and knit for a bit with a glass of wine before I went to bed, and that made me smile. It feels good to be out from under the pressure of having a second job that has to be worked on in the evening.

The funny thing is, the whole situation is like a pendulum. If past events are any indication, I will do this for a bit, and then, feeling like something's missing - actually, I think it's because I'll feel like I'm not doing enough - I'll start something new. Then that will run its course and I'll swing back to wanting to not do anything extra.

My city has an outstanding recreation department, and there of course are several health clubs in town. I've been thinking, especially as the dog gets older and doesn't need hard running exercise at the dog park every day, that I should do some kind of group exercise a couple of times a week. Like a spin class or something. So that will probably be the next thing, although I do like this feeling of not being obligated for a little bit. But it won't last, and that's OK.

Edit: I should mention part of my being OK with backing off from teaching is that I'm having fun being with B. It's good to not have to work around a second job to find the time to be together. It's hard enough trying to coordinate the schedules of everyone involved sometimes...

You're supposed to goof up the first time

This weekend marked my first foray into the world of canning. It turned out pretty good. I had to switch horses midstream so to speak, because the recipe I got off the web ( I know, I know) didn't have consistent proportions of things throughout. I ended up using the recipe from the pectin box, and the jelly seems a little on the thick side, but the lids are solid, and it tastes good. I'll have to see what the texture is like in one of these jars, but it was a little gritty when I tasted what was on the funnel afterwards.

I was a little tense while doing this, and Mr W wandered in and said something like, "It's the first time, you're supposed to goof things up the first time". Wise one, that kid.

I also varied the sugar a bit between the two sets of four jars. 25% less sugar in the second batch. We'll see how that tastes.

It's good to get past the initial trepidation of canning and fears about food safety and that kind of thing. Now I feel confident to preserve some diced tomatoes, and perhaps do more jelly. The world is a bit more open for canning now. It takes a lot of time, but I do like the idea of saving food for later.


Here's the other thing I've been working on. My Passiflora vest. It's a slow go, but still enjoyable, and I'm resisting the urge to work on the pair of socks I've got on the needles so I can finish this. Probably another three weeks left on this one. I'm glad I went with the smaller size. I had originally knit about 2" of the next larger size, but realized at that point I had twisted the piece, so had to frog it, and off the needles, that size would have been too big. Phew! These things take up way too much time not to fit in the end.

I'm home this morning with Mr W, who starts school tomorrow, and had no day care today, so his dad and I are splitting the day. I've got work to do from here, and wistfully think how cool it would be to work from home... My boss says it's OK occasionally, so I might keep that in mind.

Go go go

Runners, take your marks. It's Saturday here in Colorado, and it looks like we'll get a little break from the heat for a few days. I am thankful. Heck, I'm going to leave the windows open ALL DAY.

I often get ambitious on the weekends, over-ambitious sometimes. There ends up being a long list of things I'd like to get done, and sometimes I forget I need to also be a parent, lest Mr W watches TV and plays on the computer all day.

Today includes trips to the store to get shoes for Mr W (the ones I ordered don't fit right), the farmers market to get peaches for my first foray into the world of jelly making, yard work, the usual house work, picking out frames and ordering new glasses for me (since that sweet spot where I can read things is getting harder to find on my current glasses), playdate for Mr W in there somewhere, a trip or two to the dog park, maybe see a movie, you get the idea.

I'm again at a point where I feel like I don't have enough time to get things done, and am looking for ways to find time for the things I want to do. Note that's it's different than just finding more time. I want to try to make jelly, but I don't want to feel guilty about taking the time to do it. Mr W starts school next week and there's always the flux of getting that new schedule down. I want to volunteer in his classroom once a week, in an attempt to get him a little more jazzed about school than he was last year. Busywork gets him down, and I can't say as I blame him sometimes.

This post is a bit of a rambler, and this is what happens when everything else is going just fine in my life. We're starting to think about holiday travel plans, my brothers and I, and we can hopefully coordinate our schedules.

*** Update
Here's my done list for the day:
Farmer's Market to get peaches for jelly - have to wait until they ripen more - jelly making postponed until Tuesday
Got Mr W new shoes
Picked out frames for glasses
Put together my Spin Bin composter
Transferred compost
Gathered stuff to donate to church rummage sale
Changed the sheets on my bed
Repotted the plant on the porch
Cut back rogue leaves from pumpkin plant

Not bad.

(Please don't) cue that Elton John song

It's that circle of life thing going again. A couple of events that haven't directly affected me, but in reading up on Facebook the last couple of days, there's been the joyous occasion of a birth, and the sad occurrence of a death.

A friend of my family, who herself was the last of seven and born when her dear mom was 42, has had her first child. I had to look just now - she's 41. In my mind she stays a teenager. Little Corrine is absolutely gorgeous. OK, most babies are, but she's very cute.

And another person I know through my friend D is grieving the death of her dad. It looks like they knew it was coming, but that doesn't make the loss any easier to process. Grief is a wacky thing. You go on automatic pilot for the first couple of weeks. It's busy because there are arrangements to make, lots of people to interact with, people bring food - it's its own whirlwind routine for a bit. Then everyone goes home. Then, it creeps up on you and you weep in the produce section of the grocery store for a little bit, and then are OK.

When my sister died, I was practically begging death to come, she was suffering so much. We were all there when she died, and after she passed, I stayed for the wake, but fled home before the funeral. Looking back, I made the excuse that I had been traveling for a couple of weeks (which I had) and needed to get back home. I just had to leave, and still feel guilty about that.

So I guess the point is that it is important to bear witness. To take the long view and acknowledge that these major changes occur to all of us. I'm of the opinion that these events have a similar effect on us. Meaning, we all share some common ground in how we feel when someone dies. Or when there is a wanted child welcomed into the world.

Life IS short. There's a song by John Hiatt called Slow Turning (the link is to a live performance on the Letterman show). There's a line that goes

"Time is short and here's the damn thing about it,
you're gonna die, gonna die for sure.
You can learn to live with love or without it, but there ain't no cure."

I think paying a little attention to the passings of the people around us helps to ground our own experience. And before I wax too weird and philosophical, I will end this post.

What summer's all about

B and I went tent camping this weekend somewhere around here, on the other side of Cameron Pass. Since he's got a four wheel drive SUV, we were able to go off and find a site outside of the regular campgrounds and in the Routte National Forest. I dubbed it Camp Fungus, as they've had a lot of rain lately and there were mushrooms popping up all over the place. I had meant to take some pictures of them but forgot. The above picture is a cool fallen tree we saw while hiking. I took the color out and think it looks cool.

And the flowers! I hardly ever forget to take pictures of flowers. The diversity was amazing, and we wrong-turned through a fen that was this cool grass and sedge and flower wetland. It looked like a very lightly used area, and it's always fun to feel like you're the first one in a while to see it.


We stayed for two nights at the campsite, and then broke camp and headed over to some state forest land to hike to Lake Agnes. The above picture is the mountain range that is close by, called the Crags (for obvious reasons). It's funny, x and I hiked this years ago, and I remembered it as a couple of miles in, and pretty steep. I had the last part right, but it's only 0.8 miles. I'm in better shape than I was then, but it's still hiking above 10,000' and I got winded often.

And finally, one picture of my camping companions. Sal's got her stylish yet functional Buzz Off kerchief. Not sure if it helped against the moderately active mosquitoes, but she sure looked cute in it. This was the first time that she camped and didn't have to be tethered. She was a dog gone wild the first night, ducking into camp, running off to the nearest stream, coming back to check on us, back to a muddy puddle. When we hiked Saturday, I only leashed her up when we saw a moose, which happened twice. Sunday, she didn't quite get why she had to be on the leash, but we worked it out. She's passed out from exhaustion as I write this - my job is done. The other one mugging for the camera is B, who cooked just about everything, and did the dishes as well. How cool is that? I had a good time.

I think I'm going to make it

As of today, I have officially made it to the same age my sister was when she died in 2008. She was 45 years and a little over a month when she passed away from colon cancer that went undetected (maybe for years) until it was stage IV or D and not much could be done about it. You just don't look for colon cancer in people so young. It spread to her liver and she died of liver failure. It was a horrible way to go.

Since my mom died young (age 56) I come and go on worrying about whether I'll be the next one to die young in my family. Almost all of the time, I can bring my thinking around to the idea that I watch what I eat, I'm moderately active and am doing most of what I can to control my end of it. I got a colonoscopy (not too bad, I don't remember it), and get my annual pelvic exam, cholesterol test and mammogram. I'm happy to report that I don't take any medications besides the occasional Ambien to make sure I get a good night's rest before something important.

But I think of what was lost here. Both my sister and mom were nurses. My sister was on the verge of moving forward with her career and was in school when she died. They awarded her BSN (Bachelor's of Science in Nursing) posthumously. They were both good at what they did. I don't feel compelled to become a nurse (not really, but I have thought about it) for them, but I do feel like I've been given more time and should therefore not squander it.

To that end, I'm trying to appreciate all the things that are going well right now. My job looks like it is secure for another year. I don't make a ton of money, but I make enough. My son is healthy and curious and I can actually see that my parenting efforts are paying off. I have my own home, and my health is good. I like how things are going with B, and am looking forward to seeing how that plays out. Even my dog is doing well at the moment.

So, I want to send a humble thank you to the universe for feeling as close to content as I have for a long time.

An ode to the Poudre

When I worked for the City of Toledo doing environmental education, it was a pretty urban situation. The park, Ottawa Park, had been there for 150 years, and was a gem in the midst of the city. The exception was the Ottawa River, which went through the park. We didn't think much of it at the time, but we weren't allowed to do much in the river because the E. coli counts were too high.

Fast forward to yesterday, where Mr W and I hopped on our bikes with the inner tube I bought recently, and rode over to Lee Martinez Park, to play in the Poudre River. People have been tubing the river for years, and this was our first go at it. We need another tube, as Mr W rode for short stretches, then I'd help him out of the river, we'd walk upriver and do it again. As we were getting ready to go back to the bikes, we saw this little stream in the shade that fed into the river, and we played there for 30 minutes or so. It was here that I thought about how great it is that there are a lot of people who want to protect this river and keep it clean. And also how great it was that it was easy to use the river. There's been some talk lately of changing the laws that currently let people use a waterway here in Colorado, even if it goes through private land. I don't think a person can own the ever-changing water of a river.

Obligations

Can you hear it? It's coming. The onslaught of zucchini and tomatoes is approaching and, frankly, I'm a little worried. You all know or can imagine the optimism at the beginning of the season, when two zucchini and three tomato plants didn't sound like so much. Using my garden's bounty is a challenge for a couple of reasons. This sounds like complaining, but I guess my biggest complaint lately is that I feel like I don't have enough time. OK, on to the reasons.

First, it's been hot. That doesn't stop the stuff from growing because it's on a water timer and it takes care of itself. And I love walking around my gardens no matter what the temperature. But I don't have air conditioning, and I am loathe to turn on the oven. This has kept me from cooking the two nice chickens that are in the freezer, and limits what I can do with the produce. I know, I should suck it up and cook at night - I'll get there.

Second, let's just say my kid is not a fan of either zukes or 'maters, and I'm not counting on a lot of help besides what we call the "no thank you" bite. Thankfully, I'm fairly certain that B will be a happy recipient of part of any dish I make, so that's good.

Third, and I don't know if this is a challenge, but the obligation not to waste this food does make me a little anxious. I mean it's not like I'm growing doughnuts out there, but the prospect of having a lot of food around the house makes me think I'll overeat. I guess the key is to make stuff and palm part of it off. I know a few people who are willing to take the veggies themselves, and if I make stuff that can be frozen or given away, I won't have a big pan of cheesy lasagna beckoning me from the fridge.

And the time thing. I think this is mostly because x and I have changed Mr W's schedule around for this month, and I've had him during the week for the last two weeks. I forget how much I use my kid-free weeknights to get stuff done. Hopefully next week, we'll get back to normal.

Weekend Recap

It was a good and busy weekend. Mr W and I did make it to Rocky Grass, and above is the Infamous Stringdusters. I confess I don't know enough about bluegrass music to be discriminating, and everything I heard, I thought sounded great. We were about 2/3 of the way back, and the picture is blurry because of that.

The downside of these festivals is that they favor people who know the system and have been there before. At some predetermined point, people get in line to get numbers (which are randomly assigned) to get in line to get tarp space on the lawn. Some friends of mine go every year, and Mr W and I mooched some of their hard-won space - shaded space to boot.

This is looking to my left, and the other crowd picture was looking to my right, where you can see the path that people use and dance on as well. I'd love to go again, but don't want to work so hard to get a good spot.


On Sunday, Sally and I hiked another dog-friendly trail called Young Gulch. It was hot (again), but we did the whole thing, 4 miles out and turn around at the little hill below and go back. The weird thing with this hike was that it took me just as long to get back as it did to go out. I'm rethinking the hiking shoes I got a few months ago. About 1/2 way into the hike, I can really feel the stones under the balls of my feet. I need to use my trusty old hiking boots next time and see if it's me or if it's my footwear. A good hike nonetheless.


Someone needs to get to the groomer one of these days and get a beard and eyebrow trim, but still had a good time. Here, she's waiting for part of my sandwich - such rapt attention!

This and that, weekend edition

Mr W and I are going to RockyGrass today, and as soon as I'm done with my coffee and collect a few things, we're outta here. The weather is supposed to be nice, and that's always welcome for an outdoor thing in the sun. It's going to be a busy day for the kid, he got invited to a sleepover tonight, so I'll drop him off as we roll back into town around dinnertime.

B is going on an unbelievably long bike ride today, and has promised to call when he gets to his destination. It's not a particularly treacherous route, and he totally knows what he's doing, but I still had a bit of a restless night last night thinking about him on the road today. I've promised dinner tomorrow night if he's capable of sitting upright in a chair without falling asleep.

Work is a bit wacky. That wonderful master mix I made last week doesn't work. It simply doesn't do what it's supposed to do. I spent the day yesterday going over my calculations to scale everything up and I can't find an error. This stuff works out, but it's frustrating while it's going on.

I enrolled in something called Online Instructor Certification, through the community college where I was teaching. I'm a bit behind, and need to pick up the pace over the weekend, but it's been very interesting so far. Forget the notion that online courses are less work. And that people can't intereact and collaborate. I'm excited to learn more about the process. One of the pieces of it is to have a course website on their online class management system. I've already started this for my classes (yea foresight!) and will only need to add things to my existing site.

Mr W and Sally the dog are signed up for an obedience class at the place where Sal goes to dog school (aka doggie day care) once a week. The class is for kids and dogs, and they are doing great. Mr W likes the prospect of handling an animal that outweighs him by 10 lbs., and Sal's just in it for the treats. I've been pleased (really pleased, actually) to see how much she already knows, and the class is more an exercise in getting she and Mr W to work as a team.

So, life is, as my dad would say, humming along. I feel like I'm getting near that elusive feeling that I call contentment. It's a moving target, it seems. I've been trying to ride my bike more, and that feels good. I'm girding my loins (I love that expression) for the onslaught of zucchini and tomatoes by getting one book of recipes on each vegetable from my library. I think I'm ready!

Petulant

This summer's been pretty normal in terms of changing Mr W's parenting schedule around. It seems to go to 'one week here, one week there' during the summer and that seems to suit everyone. But with both his dad and I dating someone now, it can be a challenge to work around everyone's schedule.

Yesterday, I realized that I'd have Mr W during the week for two weeks straight, as well as bringing him to the RockyGrass festival on Saturday when he's technically supposed to be with his dad. This is in addition to the week of vacation we took. So naturally, I emailed x and said I needed a couple of days next week.

And he said no.

I was so angry at this! I had no leg to stand on because I had agreed to it previously. However, B is busy this weekend (when I'm free), and I very much want to see him, and I should have a sitter handy for times like these and don't, and the whole thing just made me seethe.

I huffed, I stomped back to my desk to look at my calendar, and, most importantly, I made myself NOT send a reply right away when x said he was going out of town and couldn't switch. That's a good thing. Overall, x and I enjoy a lot of flexibility in the parenting schedule and we often get to do what we want by switching things around. If I had emailed a nasty gram right away, I'd be sure to have trouble the next time I wanted to switch things around to suit my calendar.

What I did do was to send x an email saying I had watched Mr W for more days over the last two months than he has, and would he please pick up a few more days at the beginning of August. Diplomatic. Mature. Grown up, even. But not without the petulant child making a showing first.

I talked to B later and he saw this as a non-issue. People are busy, it's hard to coordinate schedules, we'll work it out. He's good that way.

Take a hike - take 2

I went hiking today on a trail called Hewlett Gulch. It's up our local canyon, the Poudre, and although it was a warm one today, Sally and I had a good time. One can either go up three miles and turn back, or continue on a loop for a total of about 8 miles. I missed where the loop started (funny it looked so obvious on the way back) so we did the whole thing.

There were about 8 little river crossings, and the trail is so heavily used that there are rocks across the water so hikers' feet don't get wet. But the loop was pretty warm and dry, so the above picture is what Sally did at the first sign of water on the way down.

A fire when through this area a few years ago, and there are still a bunch of scarred trees around.


The little orange spots are butterflies getting a drink or minerals or something close to one of the stream crossings.

I saw Sally's paws when her legs were wet and thought that she's got Poodle legs, but Lab feet. This trail allows hikers to have their dogs under "voice command", which means leashes are optional. Sally had a ball. The unabashed joy of her first 30 minutes on the trail made me all warm and hummy that I was doing something that allowed her to have a great time.

More Hans Rosling

More from a master in presenting data visually.

Master Mix

This post is about work, so be forewarned...

Since I work with mosquitoes, which are usually quite abundant when we collect them, I process lots of samples at one time. After they are ID'd, each bug is ground up in a bit of liquid, and I use a robot to extract the DNA of 96 individuals at a time. Once we have the DNA, we can run various assays that tell us about what genetic markers they have. My job is to compare populations of mosquitoes for these markers and try to get taxonomic information about them.

I've been working on getting more markers. We had 8, which isn't too bad for this kind of thing, but 2 of them were kind of wonky. I was able to develop 11 more, and I expect about 6-8 of those to be suitable for what we do. To save on materials, we group the markers into something called multiplexes. I have two multiplexes, with 8 and 9 markers each.

The markers work by using primers, little stretches of the A's, T's C's and G's that make up DNA. These have particular sequences that correspond to a spot on the mosquitoes' DNA, and we then amplify enough copies of this stretch of DNA to be able to see it using a DNA sequencer that is able to tell us how big the fragment is.

For whatever reason, (gremlins, chemistry, something) one has to vary how much of each primer that is used in the multiplex. Getting that right takes a while - weeks, usually. But when it's done, each marker in the multiplex gives its signal at roughly the same strength on the DNA sequencer. It should look like the bottom panel of this picture I found on the web.

During this process, the primers (two for each marker, because the DNA is double-stranded) are in little capped tubes, and getting one assay together means lots of uncapping and capping little tubes that hold each primer. When it finally works, one can make Master Mix.

Master Mix is lots of 96-well plates' worth of reactions made at one time and frozen, so then when the assay needs to be run, I can just thaw a couple of tubes and do it, as opposed to measuring out each primer. It cuts the time down by 80-90%, easily.

The point of this post that is longer than I wanted it to be is that I have gotten to the point where I made Master Mix for one of the two multiplexes yesterday, and will hopefully make MM for the other multiplex today. It's the culmination of a few months of work, so it feels good to get those tubes of stuff made and in the freezer. Yea!

More vacation pictures

Here's my brother John standing in front of one of the installations he was commissioned to do at the library where he teaches. They were working on this one to put lighting behind it, but I liked it (no surprise) because of the DNA. What I really liked about it was, although the images were pleasing and interesting, there was an explanation of each panel posted next to it. I'm very appreciative of this sort of thing and think the viewer gets more of what the artist intended her to.


Prairie!! Just a tinge, a smidgen, a wee little bit. Iowa, I'm here to tell you, ROCKS in terms of not herbiciding the native wildflowers on the sides of the highway, at least along I-35 south out of MN. My eye was drawn and I was delighted to see this kind of thing for a couple of hours. We stopped at a roadside rest where I took this picture.

And last, here' s Cap'n W. He was thrilled (is still talking about it) when his Uncle John suggested that we rent a pontoon boat and go around their local lake for a while. This was such a nice gesture. It was weird, living in CO for the last decade, to be around this much water.

Graycie did great throughout the trip. I didn't push her past about 68 mph, so it took us longer than I thought to get anywhere. There is a certain freedom in that, though. I dutifully checked the oil and coolant every fill up (which at about 17 mpg, was several times a day!), and only had to add half a quart of oil the last day. The A/C worked just fine, and was much appreciated - I'm glad I got it. The cruise control was a disappointment, though, and pooped out the first time I used it.

This sort of felt like a working vacation, in that I did all the driving, and had to tend to my mom and pet owner duties such that there wasn't a lot of down time. That's OK, it's what I expected. This time around was a lot easier than in 2005 when Mr W was 5.

I did have time to think about big picture stuff, muddling over career stuff, money stuff, travel stuff. Although I did get renewed for another year at work, I don't like feeling so dependent on something so out of my control. Yes, I have skills, but if I jump careers, I'd likely take a pay cut. Mull mull mull - things to think about. Heavy stuff for another post. The vacation was a success and I'm looking forward to getting my house in order AND planning the next weekend away, where I'd like to stay at a campsite for more than what feels like a few hours.

Some vacation pics

Mr W on the giant Jackalope at Wall Drug. I hadn't remembered how Wall Drug takes up almost the entire downtown area of Wall, SD. I don't think we need to go back...

Mr W at Mount Rushmore. I wasn't going to pay to get in, but he wanted to, so we did. It was only $10 to park, and it was cool enough to leave Sally in the van. The light is much better in the morning, than it was when we were there, but it's always impressive to see the stone prezzes.

Yesterday we went to the MN Science museum. Here's Mr W with his Aunt Mary in front of a cool installation with mineral oil filled tubes and timed bursts of air. I loves me a good science museum.

Annnnnd, we're off

OK, so we won't be paying to get in to see Mt. Rushmore, but we will be camping in the Black Hills tonight. I hope to find a spot so we can see the fireworks from town and not have to join the crowd at the park where the things are fired off - apparently the beetle-killed trees make it impossible to have fireworks from Mt. Rushmore this year.

I've spent the last week getting things together, and I think that about 70% of that stuff is stuff I only have to do once and then I know how to do it (like setting up the new sun shade) or it stays in the van (like bedding). It's been busy, and I'm hoping to log a bit of knitting or reading time after my mom and dog owner duties are fulfilled.

Safe travels and a happy 4th to all. I asked Mr W yesterday about what Independence Day means - who were we trying to be independent of? He was clueless, but I remember being the same way. Historical information didn't made sense to me until I had some kind of framework to hang the dates and events on.

Garden Pics 7-2-10

Cool double flowered Black Eyed Susan. This one flower is unlike the others. Also, these are volunteers (note they're just outside the mulch), and maybe hybrids between the two types I've planted. Pretty and tough, those BES.


I don't know if the hot weather will curb pea production, but here is at least one that I hope waits until I return.


And here's a bunch of red and pink annuals to go with the red Yarrow. Planted about a month ago, but just starting to take off.

Slightly slacking

On blog posts, that is. Things have been busy here, and I'm gearing up to load up the kid and the dog and head east to MN (near St. Paul) to see my brother and sister in law.

Graycie is in the shop, a new repair shop, as I called my mechanic and he said they couldn't look at it until next week. I understand that shops get busy, and was grateful that one of the guards at work had recommended another shop in town. I dropped Graycie off yesterday and the mechanic and I talked for about 30 minutes about Vanagon campers in general and mine's issues in particular. I walked away feeling like she's in good hands, and if they do a good job, will likely give them my business for the van as well as for my Civic, which I hope to keep running for a few more years. It's kind of a shame, but the other reason I'd switch is that the new place will give me a ride after I drop off the car, and my other mechanic doesn't provide that service.

My garden looks awesomely awesome, and I'll take some pictures today to post here. I need to get a new water timer set up and cut the grass before we leave for the trip. I'm very happy with how things look. My peas finally bloomed, and I think it's too late - they look tired and heat stressed.

I'm also quite happy with how things are going in general at the moment. I'm enjoying getting to know B, who will henceforth be known as M due to an inside joke about internet anonymity.

I've come to terms with the teaching thing for the moment, and emailed the lead instructor at the community college yesterday to tell him I'd be unable to teach in the fall. It was with regret, as I really enjoyed teaching. I got my evaluations back from Spring semester, and they were overwhelmingly positive. Compared to the first semester that I taught, where I was figuratively eviscerated, comments this time around were generous and constructive.

Get going

Here's a picture of B with our camping set up Saturday. Those are wet wetsuits hanging on the white truck, B's 16' raft, and my campervan tucked in the back. We did manage to fit inside the confines of the campsite. We rafted on Saturday and Sunday - Saturday just the two of us, and Sunday with another passenger, a dog and the dog's owner in a kayak. Sally, for her own good on this first trip, went to dog camp for the night.

It was a blast. The river is just right for a newbie like myself, and I got just enough of a thrill out of it that I'd like to both do this again, and explore the possibility of learning how to use a kayak. B made sure to tell me the safety stuff: if you get thrown out of the boat, try to grab onto it and get back in as soon as possible, if not, point your feet downstream, etc. The thought of getting tossed out of the raft in a rapid (i.e. "going for a swim") scared me, even though I was wearing a wetsuit, booties, spray jacket, helmet and life jacket. They have a saying about whenever you go out on the river, "you're just between swims". Sort of a metaphor for life, too.

It feels so good to be out DOING stuff. Taking advantage of the outdoor stuff Colorado has to offer. Sure, my lawn should have been cut a few days ago, but I think it's a fair tradeoff. It's cooler in the mountains, and it's been hot down here in town. I'm so jazzed to be hanging out with B, who (in addition to his other great qualities) does outdoorsy stuff as a matter of course, and by virtue of that, gives me the opportunity to try some new stuff. And he got the stove on the campervan working - what's not to like?

In other news, my brother called and gave me dates that would be good for us to visit them in MN. I need to talk to my boss, but am going to try to take that trip the week after next. First big trip with Graycie. I thought we might try to swing a little south and visit the tallgrass prairie in Kansas. By the map, it's only a couple of hours out of the way. I need to get the cruise control fixed before we go.

Who helps who

Last Sunday, I paid a visit to Boyles Family Farms to pick up a couple of chickens I ordered and also to volunteer a couple of hours because they had experienced some flooding and were behind schedule a little. Claire and Matt's farm is one of the newer CSAs (Community Supported Agriculture) in the area.

Why am I not a member of this CSA? Well, I had thought about signing up, and in the end, it's too much food for just me, especially when I'm growing food in my garden this year. That sounds lame. I also suffer from something vegetable-related that makes me lose my taste for anything that I HAVE to eat so it won't go to waste. That's lame as well, but it is true. I talked about splitting a share with a co-worker and I think we'll do that next year (I think it's too late for this year).

Nevertheless, I want to support them somehow. I've signed on to buy eggs if they have enough, and will also make arrangements to get out there a few more times to see if I can help out. On Sunday, I helped transplant zinnias. It's a three-person job, and it just so happened that me being a left-handed person was an advantage because it's set up for one of the two transplanters to load plants with her left hand. I felt so useful. That's what I mean by who helps who here. Feeling useful was motivation to do it again, AND I ended up getting one of the chickens for free for helping out (thanks, Claire!).

And can I just say that I love the idea of having a flower farm? You can keep your livestock and your vegetables. If I farmed, I'd grow small fruits and cut flowers. I was excited to hear Claire say that there is actually a market for cut flowers around here. Not that I'm rushing out to do this, but it does my heart good that people are willing to pay for something I think would be satisfying to grow, and that I feel adds a bit of nature and beauty to our lives (sorry, that's a little sappy).

It was one of those days

Over the last two days at work I have:
- Emptied communal trash
- Made communal buffer
- Changed the toner cartridge for the communal printer
- Ordered communal lab equipment
- Mixed up more communal mosquito food


I suppose it's human nature to wait for someone else to do some of these things....

Renewed

We got the word the other day that the contracts had been renewed for all of us contractors in my group at work. Although it's not entirely unexpected, it comes as a relief this time of year to get the go-ahead for another year. Initially, when I was learning to live on my own after the divorce, getting renewed represented security. I had some debt, and knowing I had a job for the next year eased my stress considerably about paying it down.

My boss is really good about advancing us along the step increases that regular federal employees get, so I was happy to hear that I will get a raise this year. Just so happens that it will almost cover that new van payment. *Poof* it's gone. That's OK. More than OK.

I just finished up one project and am gearing up to do the next. I'm training a summer worker to do the first part of what I do, and it's been interesting. She's primarily a field biologist, and getting her up to speed on doing the lab stuff makes me remember how many steps there are to each thing. As in, how many places there are to screw up if you're just starting out! But she's sharp, and will be up to speed soon. I love how stuff like this often ends up being useful to the person down the road. It'll add to her skill set as a biologist and that's good for a college student.

So, I'm content at work. I've let go for the moment the notion that the goal is to get a full time teaching position. I might pursue it some day, but for now I need to stay in the same town as my kid's dad and get Mr W raised and launched. After he goes off to school, it's anyone's guess, but for now, I'm here and that's good and enough.

It's been HOW long?

We took Graycie out for our inaugural camping trip on Saturday. I did some house stuff - got rid of an old pile of mulch that had been sitting at the entrance to my garage for at least two years, which had been then overlain with rose canes cut from this year's pruning and old wood from Mr W's old sand box - what a mess and now it's outta here. Thanks, lawn waste recycling place, Hageman's I love you! Because of this and getting ready, we didn't get on the road until about 5 pm. We camped at Jack's Gulch, up the Poudre Canyon and in the Roosevelt National Forest.

Above, is Mr W having dessert in the van. Below is Sally the next morning, after I had gotten up and had to start the van for heat because it was pretty chilly (and because I could, I suppose). The best I can say for Sally at this point is that she's got a bit to learn about being a camp dog, namely not barking at each and every person that walks by. Mr W is under the red sleeping bag somewhere. I love darn near everything about this van, but the bed was really uncomfortable for me. I'm hoping that getting my head and shoulders elevated with an extra pillow will help, but my back hurt the next morning.


We bought some firewood from the campground hosts and had a fire. This is exactly where and how I was sitting when the thought occurred to me: "How long has it BEEN since I've been camping?" It was a common and routine thing for me for my teenage years and most of my adult years, but sitting there, I could only remember camping with Mr W and our old dog Ursa back in 2005. Five years?! Really?

And I realized that I didn't camp for the whole time I was in the long distance relationship, and really not for the time between that and the divorce. So strange. This trip was wacky because of getting used to the new van, but the feeling of camping and saying hi to your neighbors and enjoying a fire and the scenery, that was all comfortable and familiar.

So, I'm back. It never ceases to amaze me how our actions eventually come around to how/where our heads are.

Especially when this kind of scenery is a two minute walk from the campsite.

Pictures!

Here is Miss Sally and my new van! She, Mr W and I will go camping Saturday night somewhere close. I think it will be a matter of driving up to the area, and seeing what's open, as the reservation system wants one to make the reservation 4 days or more in advance.

Here's my raised beds this morning. The large green presence in the lower right corner was labeled as "Broccoli" - can anyone confirm my suspicion that these are Brussels sprouts? I need to head to the nursery this weekend to fill in just a couple of spots, and then I think I'm done. This has been my first year growing greens, and I wish I had planted more.

And, finally, my own personal hybrid zone! I studied native plant hybridization when I was in school, and, while these Penstemmon aren't native, they have hybridized and are slowly taking over the front garden, which I will gladly allow. The previous owners of my house planted them, and I think started with a dark blue, a pink, and a white on the other side that's out of the picture. Now there are plants with a range of pinks and purples - it's cool to see how it changes a little each year.

Finally!

I am going to pick up my new hippie campervan this afternoon. B has generously offered to drive me to Boulder to get it. It still needs the A/C recharged, and there was some flange or whatzit that it needs that he could order, but it would have to come from Washington state and wasn't urgent, so I'm holding off on that. Otherwise he did all the stuff to make it trip worthy.

I'm bummed out about making a car payment again, but it's been 11 years since I've had to do so, so I can't complain too much! And, as these things sometimes go, my Civic needs some work done. The muffler is going, and there's some noise when I make a turn. I bought a muffler from Midas several years ago, and they have that lifetime guarantee. When I get this one replaced, it will be the 4th or 5th one they've given me for free. One would think they would just make a better product that didn't have to be replaced so often. Mine have needed to be replaced every 3 years or so.

Delphinium

These were the spare flowers left over from the spike I cut and put in a vase. The vase is wrong for the flowers, so I like this arrangement better. We've had a lot of rain over the last few days, so the spikes were leaning and had to be cut. I could grow boatloads of Delphinium - it's so striking. I think I shall buy a few more plants.

I need to get out and take some more pictures, as things are starting to take off. The popcorn and giant sunflowers we planted from seed are growing and need to be thinned. Last year the squirrels took most of them as seeds, so it was tough to get them established.

But the cantaloupe is still a little scrawny thing and I might have to give up on my idea of growing my own. I should hit the nurseries this weekend and see if they've got any starts left.

Expired

I was talking the other day to B, the person I recently started dating. He remarked how he was on Match.com to see how much longer his subscription ran for and saw that someone in New York, someone with a 25 acre homestead, had looked at his profile. I laughed because he figured out quickly that I was showing him off to Jordan when I visited her last weekend. I hadn't been checking the site recently, and was happy to hear he hadn't been either. So far so good in that regard, fingers crossed and all that - I enjoy his company a lot.

Well, this made me think I should check my subscription status, because those nice folks at Match will renew one's subscription automatically for you if you don't cancel within the time frame of your current subscription. You know, because they are out for your best interests and want to help. Anyway, I log on and my subscription was set to expire that day. Yea! Good timing. So I canceled it.

It's funny how it felt like a significant step. "I'm not re-upping with Match because I want to see how things go with this new person". I admit that in this last round of dating, since I got out of the long distance relationship, I met a couple of people and found myself continuing to peruse the site. This time, I didn't feel compelled to keep checking and I think that's a good sign.

In other news, we have had RAIN! It's Sunday morning, and it's been rainy with little breaks since Friday night. Mr W and I are supposed to go to a Rockies game today, and I don't know if that's going to happen. The weeds made a big push for dominance while I was gone, and I continue to be amazed at how the bindweed can grow through over a foot of dirt and pop out the top of my raised beds. Those are easy to pull, though, and the wet soil has made weeding less of a big deal than it sometimes is.

And finally, a blog friend, Claire over at Little Farm.Growing has had a heck of a spring on their small farm, between hailstorms and a recent flash flooding event. If you can, go over and say hi. They have had a tough time of it and could use the support.